Friday, June 09, 2006

Just When You Thought Your 'Guy's Weekend' Hiking Adventure Couldn't Get Any Better...

Beech Creek Co. is casting a feature erotic thriller about three guys who get lost in the Maine wilderness and become rescuers to a group of Eastern European women who have been victims of human trafficking at a remote logging camp (It's common knowledge that lumberjacks in the northeast wilderness will pay top-dollar for a sex slave.). John XXXXX, casting. Seeking—Will Krause: late 20s, nerdy but highly capable (Wow, most nerds I know are stupid and incapable), LEAD; Fitz: early 30s, an irreverent smart-ass, supporting; Steve Falvo: mid-to late 30s, a consummate ladies’ man, always on the prowl, usually successful (Do not tell me he hooks up with a traumatized sex slave that he is trying to liberate, or I will set something on fire...); Valentina: early 20s, a tough, funny and beautiful Ukranian girl, some nudity required, LEAD; Ivana: early 20s, somewhat traumatized but resilient, nudity required; Lara: angry and bitter, nudity required; Olga: 50-60, sadistic Ukranian madam; Oblov: 25-35, vicious, hulking enforcer. Note: All female parts require a believable Slavic accent (My "female part" doesn't have an accent, is it supposed to? Now I'm self-conscious...). Email pix & résumés to John XXXXX at Some pay. Producer plans to apply for SAG Ultra-Low Budget Film Agreement.

Lumber-Jacking & Human Trafficking: Two great tastes that taste great together!

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