The "D" Is For Demon!

‘STD (SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DEMON)‘
Heart of David Pictures, Inc. is casting STD (Sexually Transmitted Demon), a DV dramatic short about a young virgin woman who loses her faith and takes a wrong turn in her quest for companionship (Whatever do they mean, I wonder?). Project is of a sexual nature, but no nudity is involved. Three days of shooting begin April 20. Shauntay XXXXX, dir.-exec-prod. Seeking—Tyran Bryant: early-to-late 20s, outgoing, attractive, works in promotions, LEAD; Trina Belvitt: early-to-late 20s, conservative dress, religious, outspoken, LEAD; Males and Females: various day-players. Auditions will be held by appt. only March 31. Time and location will be provided after initial inquiry. For an appointment, email XXXXX.com. Prepare a short dramatic monologue, and be ready to cold read. For more info, go to www.myspace.com/heartofdavidpictures. No pay, but copy, credit, and meals provided.

At first I thought this was going to be some quirky film where this woman dates the wrong guy and winds up with like, this little fuzzy Muppet-like "demon" that follows her around all day and night making wise-cracks about her weight and dead-end career and choices in men. Which could be funny. But then I read the ad again... and now I'm scared. I feel like I need to counteract the future effects of this film by saying here and now that: No, you cannot contract Satan by having Sex. Satan has nothing to do with sex. So you're safe as long as you're responsible. So go enjoy yourselves.