Let's Just Cut To The Chase...

BATTLE SEX (Yesss!)
Student Film
NYU Graduate Thesis Project
SAG Student Agreement available
Also seeking NON-UNION
NO PAY
copy, credit, and meals provided

Producer/Director: Isaac XXXXX
Casting Director: Isaac XXXXX
Interview Dates: September 1st - October 1st
Callback Dates: September 13th - October 1st
Shoot/Start Date: Late October / Early November
Location: New York

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY BY 9/25 TEL: 917-XXX-XXXX

There is nudity in this project.

NOTE: IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH SUBMISSION.

Role:

[ LIEV ]
Late 20s to late 30s. A great soldier with a battle weary demeanor. He has lost too many people close to him and carries those scars both outside and within himself. Partial nudity required.

[ ZOE ]
20-30s. An ace pilot and lethal killing machine. She is responsible for turning the war in her people's favor. She's an adept killer who must rely on her sworn enemy to survive on the planet. Partial nudity required.

[ BROTHER JULIUS ]
40-50s, black, an elderly soldier and veteran of many wars. He's a military politician, calculating, and will do anything and sacrifice anyone to achieve his goals.

[ BROTHER CALLUS ]
60s, a battle cleric. His job is to whip the soldiers into a frenzy with fiery speeches before sending them to their deaths. He's the best at it.

[ TASHA ]
20-30s, black, Zoe's wing-woman in battle and best friend.

[ HOWLERS ]
(Extras, open to all ages, races, and genders) A cross between zombies and lepers, they are the survivors of nuclear blasts on what is left of Earth. They hunt in packs.

[ FIGHTER PILOTS ]
(Extras, open to all ages, races, and genders)

STORY LINE: In a post-apocalyptic future, man and woman are sworn enemies engaged in a space battle to destroy each other. When Liev and Zoe crash land on Earth they must rely on each other to survive, and in the process learn to love that which they hate, each other. (Love it!)

Nothing makes me feel more secure as an actor, than a student film set in the post-apocalyptic future (something that, say, might require a budget to pull off well), that requires nudity. For no pay. Except for maybe one with a violent sexual title.
...

Meet Mr. Cheapy McCheapington:

Talented? Work from home. (Brooklyn )

Date: 2011-08-21, 2:56PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Seeking one person who can work from their home and meet in their home to assist an executive:

Flexible hours..excellent side work for the right person
Please reply with a quick description and recent photo.

* Location: Brooklyn
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $20 per hour

My momma didn't raise no fool. You want me to "work" from my home and "meet" with you there... for $20/hr? Are you insane? Ladies - if you want a sugar daddy that's fine, but come on. You can get more than this through a temp agency - and you probably won't get herpes.

And yes, this item was listed on CL under "talent gigs."
...

If Boobs Could Kill

Hello! I'm giving a special cocktail-soaked shout-out to a group of lovely readers in our fair capital city, Washington DC! How are you? When a special friend (doesn't she look fab on her tiny skirted bathing suit?) told me you have been faithfully reading, I instantly sobered up thinking: "Poor dears! Gabby has been sidetracked with beach parties, and patio parties, and birthday parties..." But she hasn't forgot about you! Not one bit. So here's something to chew on (nothing fancy - just some good, old-fashioned get-naked-for-a-handshake good times) while I go make another pitcher of sangria, and have Giuseppe help dust the sand off my body. Cheers!

xxxooo
Gabs

* * * * *

KIM JONG KILL (Love it.)
Student Film
Columbia University Film MFA short film
NON-UNION
NO PAY

Director: Jim XXXXX
Producer: Ben XXXXX
Co-Producer: Jessica XXXXX
Casting Director: Jessica XXXXX
Interview Dates: March 27, 2011
Shoot Dates: May 13 - 16, 2011
Location: New York, NY

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: 347-XXX-XXXX

THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT!

[ SUN ]
early 20s, Asian female, soft spoken, extremely sweet, but with the capacity to be a deadly killer. When Kim Jong Il falls into her lap she will do whatever it takes to kill him. Some nudity required.

[ SUMMER ]
20s, female, any ethnicity, beautiful, with a wild side. Loves to party and not to do what she’s told. She works as an exotic dancer because she enjoys the thrill of teasing men and NOT giving them what they want. Some nudity required.

[ CHIN-HWA ]
20s, 30s, or 40s, Asian male, tough guy. Always wears sunglasses so no one can ever see where he’s looking. If he’s speaking to you consider your life over.

It's OK, you guys. They're getting naked for a good cause - assassination. Nudity & murder are like the chocolate & peanut butter of the film world. Mmmm... so good. Which reminds me... Giuseppe...?

There you are.