Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow...

Dearest Most Darling Readers,

You are my sun, my moon, my stars and my cocktail olives. I love you more than anything, but I have let you down. I have been neglecting this blog for over a year. No apology can ever undo such damage. But I beg your forgiveness anyway.

It has become apparent to this old (yet still devastatingly beautiful) dragon that I just simply don't have the time or the heart for it anymore. Or, perhaps more accurately: other people are doing it better. Like Casting Call Woe on Tumblr. Brilliant. Why didn't I think of it?

Whatever. It's alright. I pass the mantle onto them and say, "Godspeed and keep your clothes on, unless there's decent pay in it or you just like getting naked, you filthy, sexy animal."

Anyway, I leave you with his one last tidbit below - a piece that several people emailed me about asking "Is this yours?" The answer is no, it is not. But I am glad to have perhaps helped engender an environment where no pay for nudity is laughable. And thrilled to maybe even have helped actors realize that sweating an audition for some dumb-ass concept that will never make it off the ground only ends up wasting their time and sanity. SO DON'T DO IT. God. Just listen to that inner voice. Nurture it. And re-read every post on here as a reminder of what bullshit looks like.

And with that I must listen to my own gin-soaked gut and hug and kiss you goodbye. Goodbye, my loves. You will forever be in my heart.

Most Sincerely,
Gabriella

PS - I still have a ton of drafts saved so who knows when I might pop back in but don't count on it. Wet kisses xxx

NO PAY NUDITY (Stand-Ins)
Feature Film
SAG-AFTRA Modified Low Budget
Non-Union Rate: Stand In Role $75.00

Producer: Quentin XXXXX
Casting Director: XXXXX Casting
Shoot: June 23 until July 3 (No Weekends) 2014
Location: New York

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY       

Hiring Non Union - No Nudity In The Film - Must Be Available All Dates

[ STAND IN - GABRIEL BYRNES ]
Lester Rosenthal
Height: 5'10"
Waist: 42 x 36
Dates for this role only are June 23 - July 18  (No Weekends)

[ STAND- IN NATHAN LANE ]
Herschel Thalkin
Height: 5'7"
Round - Bigger Guy

[ STAND-IN FRANCES CONROY ]
Andrea Montague
Height: 5'6.5"
Weight: 130lbs.

[ STAND-IN BOYD GAINES ]
Stephen Martin
Height: 5'11"
Light-Brown/Gray Beard
Waist: 42 x 34

THE END

From the desk of Gabby

Darlingest friends, 

A reader alerted me to this story that broke a while ago - but since gabby has never been into the world of Fantasy (other than her recurring James Franco dream), it wasn't on her radar. But after hearing it, I thought I would share.

It seems a lovely Irish lass was hired for a featured role on the hit series, "Game of Thrones." She was excited - the project paid quite well and was very popular - but when she arrived... well... she was not aware that the show has a reputation for relying on more just just their actors' talent to draw voyeurs, er, viewers in, and that her role was more set undressing than set dressing - so she walked.  You can read the article here.

I think the only real moral of this story is, like she says: "It was my own fault really because I didn’t research the show properly." I can sort of see that. And yet - what if it was a brand-new show or a pilot? Sometimes all we have to go on is what our agents tell us, and don't blame her for walking when she arrived to see the role was not as-described. But, then again, I also would not have blamed her had she stayed. I just wish we didn't seem to be headed back down the late 70's-late 80's There-Is-Nudity-In-Everything wormhole. Actors have a JOB to do. What other legal jobs (besides artist's model) expect the employees to drop trou on a regular basis? And Gabby isn't the only one who's getting a wee bit annoyed. Even one of the show's own has said:

“One of the girls in the show who got her kit off the most in the first couple of seasons now doesn’t at all because she said, ‘I want to be known for my acting not for my breasts.” (You can read that article here.)

It's always a matter of each person's taste, but a good rule of thumb it so, at least, always get paid when people ask to see the goods - especially on camera. Because those images will be around for a long, long time. For better or for worse.

Yours most sincerely,
Gabs

Knowledge Is Power

Here at Nudity Required, No Pay, we have seen a lot of casting calls that just don't pass the smell test. But a reader of the column, Savage Love, by Dan Savage, wrote in with his own experience in a little fetish film casting bait-and-switch.  

His situation (which you can read here), was basically this: he arrived for an audition for a low-paying film project that turned out to be a homosexual foot fetish film. Now, while there was no actual or implied sex or nudity involved, there was some physical contact - including foot licking.

So... what to do? What to do? How do you protect yourself, as an actor, from wasting your time with submitting and preparing for an audition for something that, had you known, you never would considered to begin with? 

Well, I think you need to listen to your gut, first and foremost. There are hundreds of sketchy things on this site that serve as a good example. And if something only seems faintly shady - ask questions.

But mostly, I think a lot of this responsibility rests on the shoulders of the casting director/writer/producers. Are you listening, director/writer/producers??? If you have ever wondered how much should you tell an actor about your piece, allow me to help.

I think we can all agree the medium is good to know: is this a feature-length or short film, or a play?
And so is the genre: Is this a comedy or a drama?
The when and the where's are good, too.
So are the character descriptions (within reason).
And, of course, pay rate.

Beyond that... use your discretion. Do we care if the the lead character's inner monologue is "It's the touch of my hands that sooth him. It's the taste of my lips that quench him. It's breathing my essence that thaws his heart"? No. No we do not. We find that crap hilarious, but no, not helpful.

But we do care if there are sexual relations with animals (real or stuffed), and we do care if we have to do our own stunts (especially if we have to do them naked), and we definitely DEFINITELY care if what you are making is, actually, for sexual purposes instead of artistic purposes. 

So, do us a favor: don't waste our time, and we won't be wasting yours. Because remember:

Capice?

You Got It.

What's a girl to do when a cute, kind, talented man asks for her help?

She helps.

If you haven't heard by now, Humans of New York (HONY) photographer Brandon Stanton, was essentially ripped off by the fashion label DKNY. They asked to use his photos in a worldwide campaign for a small allowance (by industry standards)... he asked for more... they declined... so did he.

Time passes and then a fan sees his work is being used by DKNY is Asia. But instead of getting mad, Stanton gets... nice. He asks DKNY to make a donation of $100,000 to a YMCA in Brooklyn (holla!). They obliged with a small fraction of what he asked.

Anyway, Stanton turned to Tumblr and his audience to raise the difference. And they did!

So here's the story as per the man himself. He asked us bloggers to reblog it all, so I am.

http://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/44380628962/my-name-is-brandon-stanton-and-im-a-photographer

And I'm sharing this not just because it's an inspiring story, but because we, as artists, shouldn't be afraid to know what we are worth and to ask for it. Negotiation may be involved but, ultimately, we can't low-ball our selves and our work. 

Thank YOU, Brandon. And thanks to everyone who helped send 300 kids to summer camp!

xxoo,
Gabs.

PS - Here's the story from the daily paper, Metro: http://www.metro.us/newyork/news/local/2013/03/04/humans-of-new-york-photog-turns-controversy-into-cash-for-bed-stuy-ymca/

Law & Order: FU

Dearest Readers,

Something terrible happened the other day, and I was so in shock that I think I blocked the memory until now. This is what I saw:

And this is what I thought: "Wasn't he convicted of Felony Rape?"

And then: "Isn't this show about sex crimes?"

Followed by: "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!"

Look, ok, fine. I get that he did his time. And I get that people deserve second chances. But generally they should really only get a second chance if they acknowledge they need a second chance (i.e.: that they actually did something wrong). But he never has.

And, OK OK OK, FINE. Maybe he didn't do it. But still - he was convicted. Of rape. And this is a show about sex crimes. Somewhere along the line, someone, anyone - male or female - should have said, "You know, maybe we shouldn't...???" Especially Mike Tyson and his manager(s). I get that you need to be able to make money, but this is a terrible, terrible choice.

What's next - Michael Vick hosting the Puppy Bowl?

So, now I see that Dick Wolf is defending the decision (which... I dunno. Read the quote yourself and decide. I realize it's probably out of full context but to me it sounds a teensy bit too much like "Tyson was railroaded") and the ad itself says you 'must see' this 'controversial' episode. No thanks. And please do not tell me that you purposefully invented this offensive controversy for ratings. It's like walking up to every woman everywhere and saying "Fuck you. Now go watch my show."

Or better yet, in the words of Mr. Tyson: 

"Thank you very much. I would still love for you to give me a (EXPLETIVE DELETED)."

At least NBC has the good grace to move the airing up so it won't conflict with One Billion Rising - an event dedicated to raising awareness of and ending violence against women. (Thanks. Dicks.)

Well, my friends, it's time to step away from the soap box. For now. On February 6th I invite you to not watch NBC. Looks like there will be a cool episode of Nova on PBS! Who doesn't love supporting educational television?

xxoo,
Gabs

PS - Check these out for more information on ways to help contribute to the dialog or just to learn more about violence against women:  V-Day, RAINN.org, & WomensHealth.gov.

PPS - Good reads: Current Conscience, Feminist Frequency, The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, Feminist Law Professors, and JeanKilbourne.com. 

"Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors." -Evelyn Cunningham 

Goo-Goo-Ha-Cha?

Bikini Babies Wanted.. Looking For Fun Models (Northern Suburbs)

Looking for Fun Models... Bikini Babies is New... Looking for Fun Female models to do a wide range of gigs in Bikinis and other Fun outfits.. (Like...? [Please don't say diapers... please don't say diapers...]) Will assist you in finding Fun Gigs... (I thought this IS the fun gig?) Promotional work - photo shoot work - Dancing gigs - Massage gigs - Hosting Events...ETC.. Must have Transportation and cell phone.. Must be a people person... Must be comforitable [sic] working in Bikini - Mini skirts - Fun tops.. ETC.. If interested, Please send a few photos of yourself, what is your modeling experience?? What would make you a good Bikini Baby???

* Location: Northern Suburbs
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Pay will depend on gigs

They're looking for BABES, right? Not babies? They want adult women and not infants, correct? Please say yes. I mean, I'd have to assume so because I don't think a baby would give a very good massage. But how can you ever be sure with these damn crazy casting notices?

SIDE NOTE: Okay, so I thought it might be fun to add a photo of a cute, unassuming baby in a bikini so I did a Google search and OH MY GOD, what are people doing to their children?!?! Pleeeeeaaasssseee stop sexualizing your kids. Holy crap. I need eyewash.

So, then I thought I'd post a photo of a baby in a burka and... that was boring (and also mildly disturbing - war zone photos... the oppression of women... etc. [Side-Side-Note to earthlings: Make up your mind? Are we selling our young as sex objects at the age of 9 months or are we forbidding them from breathing fresh air and showing their wrists?]) 

Sooooo... then I thought the other possibility would be to go the opposite route and post picture of a woman in a diaper, but I stopped myself because we all know how that would turn out. No thanks.

Which is why this seemed like the safest option:

Naturally.   

...

Ch- Ch- Changes.

Darlingest Readers, 

In case you haven't noticed, Guiseppe and I have continued out home improvements. So far, we like. Or we're just too tipsy to keep looking for better wallpaper. 

One thing we are sad about is that blogger has gotten rid of our usual pink and replaced it with this garish one. Oof. Terrible.  So we're switching to purple! The color of royalty. And of French martinis...

Hugs,
Gabby

A Shout Out

Hello Readers,

We have been playing around with page layouts here. Raul wants something manly, but Filipe wants something sparkly. What to do! For now we're settling on purple stars and will mull it over while mixing some cocktails and trading massages.

In the meantime, I stumbled across this delightful blog whose title I am desperately jealous of: Fat, Ugly or Slutty. (Why didn't I think of that? This blog could be called Prudish, Bitter or Just a Bitch.) It is a brilliant response to sexism in gaming. Not that Gabby plays games. Just gin... 

But I am being told that's what I drink, not what I play.

Anywho.

For more delightfully frightening news on the pervasiveness of sexism and misogyny in the online world, break out your reading glasses and slip this on for size: In Virtual Play, Sex Harassment Is All Too Real.

Thanks for reading and we hope to nail down a template some time in the near future. (Or maybe never making up our minds will be the new theme...?)

Remember to hug an unemployed actor... and to keep your pants on. Or try to. Depending on the circumstances, of course.

xo
Gabs
...

OMG, You Guys! This Coulda Been My Big Break.

I got this email a couple weeks ago:

From: notices@castingnetworks.com
Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 12:15am
To: [That Hot Bitch Gabby]
Subject: CONGRATS: AUDITION INFO BASED ON YOUR RESUME/HEADSHOT FROM CASTING NETWORKS,INC

Congrats,you have been selected for TWO great opportunities.

1) You have been selected to audition for the comedic project entitled QUICKDRAW as you submitted your resume/headshot on Casting Networks,Inc. Quickdraw is a family comedy/drama about foster homes and the life story of several adults that reflect on their youth in foster homes. The audition will take place Saturday April 7th,2012 at Ripley Grier studios. You will be provided with a monologue to read. The time for your audition will be emailed to you once you respond to this message....

So, at first I was all like, "Great!" And then...

2) You are ALSO invited to attend a large and extremely popular networking event that the Producer will be hosting at a restaurant in Midtown,NYC in which local media will be in attendance. At this event will be two TMZ photographers as well as entertainment reporters from the news channel New York 1 and 3 public relations reps from production companies. There will also be 2 casting directors that are currently ca! sting for General Hospital in L.A. All of these guests will be available to meet and ready to answer any of your questions,take your resumes/headshots,etc. This is a great opportunity to meet these individuals just please be dressed in nice, professional, attire/clothing. There will also be music provided by several dj's and free drinks the first hour. This will be a great way to go out and network with successful film/tv individuals while still enjoying the night as well with many actors and actresses. (Because there is NO better way to meet people for professional purposes than in a loud bar after a cocktail or two - am I right?) This event will be going from 9pm-2am on Saturday,March 31st. We already have many actors and actresses on the guest list so if you will be attending this networking event please confirm by emailing XXXXX at XXXXX.com. This event will be at a bar/restaurant on 51st and 10th ave. You may bring guests. Complete information will be provided once you confirm that you will be attending. Once you do,you will be placed on a guest list. Once again, email me (XXXXX) at XXXXX.com to confirm. From- XXXXX (Assistant director)

And then I was all like, "Ugh. *eyeroll* No." So, this was my reply:

I'm happy to attend the audition on April 7. I have a matinee performance that day at 3, so I can come before 2 (I have a 2 o'clock call time in midtown), or after 5.

As for the "events," I find this all rather unorthodox. It's also a holiday weekend. So I won't be attending that. But like I said, I am happy to audition if this is for a legitimate project.

Thank you.

Guess what? I never heard back. Shocking.
...

The Bunny Hop

You know how it goes... one hope forward, two hops back (or something - no need to quibble over specifics). Gabby has been up to her eyeballs in work. Good work! She gets to keep her clothes on and act at the same time. It's been wonderful. But in the meantime she's been a little slow with the new ads. Please forgive.

Instead of something frighteningly awful, here's something frighteningly awesome! Help support live theater, people. You love it and it loves you.

Smooches,
Gabs

...

Happy New Year!

Dearest Readers,

Gabby has been so very busy cookie baking, toy making, and cocktail shaking! Once again, this bloggy woggy has been neglected. So sorry!

For the new year I resolve to work hard to look for things that tickle our fancies... or that just make us roll our eyes in disgust. Looking forward to more naked delights in 2012!

Kiss kiss,
Gabs

...

Treats & Tricks

Happy Halloween! I hope everyone has something fun planned. Giuseppe was just helping me hem my itty-bitty sexy Hulk Hogan dress.

What's that? Hulk Hogan doesn't wear dresses? Think again, dear friends. And remember - EVERYTHING can be sexy!

Anyway, while I have to hold still so I don't get pricked by anything sharp, I thought I'd drop my readers a little Halloween hello! Gabby is on the hunt for whatever crazy/obnoxious/unbelievable casting notices you can find. We will of course credit you here. Consider that I'm knocking on your door, sweetly chirping "Trick or treat!" You can drop whatever craziness you can find in my little pumpkin sack and we'll have a laugh.

In the meantime, don't forget to check out some old spooky-but-goodies in "Oh, The Horror!"

Toodles,
Gabsxxx



(You're welcome!)
...

If Boobs Could Kill

Hello! I'm giving a special cocktail-soaked shout-out to a group of lovely readers in our fair capital city, Washington DC! How are you? When a special friend (doesn't she look fab on her tiny skirted bathing suit?) told me you have been faithfully reading, I instantly sobered up thinking: "Poor dears! Gabby has been sidetracked with beach parties, and patio parties, and birthday parties..." But she hasn't forgot about you! Not one bit. So here's something to chew on (nothing fancy - just some good, old-fashioned get-naked-for-a-handshake good times) while I go make another pitcher of sangria, and have Giuseppe help dust the sand off my body. Cheers!

xxxooo
Gabs

* * * * *

KIM JONG KILL (Love it.)
Student Film
Columbia University Film MFA short film
NON-UNION
NO PAY

Director: Jim XXXXX
Producer: Ben XXXXX
Co-Producer: Jessica XXXXX
Casting Director: Jessica XXXXX
Interview Dates: March 27, 2011
Shoot Dates: May 13 - 16, 2011
Location: New York, NY

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: 347-XXX-XXXX

THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT!

[ SUN ]
early 20s, Asian female, soft spoken, extremely sweet, but with the capacity to be a deadly killer. When Kim Jong Il falls into her lap she will do whatever it takes to kill him. Some nudity required.

[ SUMMER ]
20s, female, any ethnicity, beautiful, with a wild side. Loves to party and not to do what she’s told. She works as an exotic dancer because she enjoys the thrill of teasing men and NOT giving them what they want. Some nudity required.

[ CHIN-HWA ]
20s, 30s, or 40s, Asian male, tough guy. Always wears sunglasses so no one can ever see where he’s looking. If he’s speaking to you consider your life over.

It's OK, you guys. They're getting naked for a good cause - assassination. Nudity & murder are like the chocolate & peanut butter of the film world. Mmmm... so good. Which reminds me... Giuseppe...?

There you are.

Dirty Deeds

You might be able to get them done dirt cheap, but payback's a bitch.

Just to follow up on NR/NP's post about the Joseph brooks scandal - you should know that he will no longer stand trial for his alleged (ugh - without a trial they will always remain 'alleged' [although as an NYC jury just made abundantly clear, it's still better than an acquittal]) sexual assaults since he recently took his own life. However, his partner-in-crime, Shawni Lucier, has just pled guilty to criminal facilitation.

You can read Yahoo!'s AP article here.

Joseph Brooks was charged with multiple counts of sexual assualt when he and his assistant lured aspiring actresses to Mr. Brooks' New York City apartment with promises of aiding their careers. Upon arrival, he would ply the young, unchaperoned women with alcohol and make unwanted sexual advances.

Thankfully, Mr. Lucier had the decency to own up after the fact, at least.

Be careful out there...
...

Good News & Bad News

As NR/NP quickly approaches another benchmark - 5,000 hits since the statistics page began last summer (I know, it's a small victory, but Gabby likes to celebrate. So let's pop a bottle!) - I thought I'd share some happy and not so happy news.

Yay!

Years ago, when Gabby first started collecting terrible casting notices, they were everywhere! Slapping us in our pretty little faces, and making us throw up our hands in frustrated disgust. But lately these notices seem hard to come by. Which is bad for business on this end, but hopefully good news that the tide might sloooooowwllllly be turning in favor of being more fair to the fairer sex. (Fingers crossed!) Now, Gabby isn't against nudity - just exploitation. If you're going to ask a woman to get naked on the job, you gotta treat her right. Am I right?

Boo.

Now for the bad news. Women being mis/under-represented in film is still a chronic and systemic problem. If you haven't heard of the Bechdel Test - check it out. All a film has to do to pass this brilliant little test is meet 3 simple requirements:

1. It has to have at least two women in it,
2. Who talk to each other,
3. About something besides a man.
   

Sound simple? Think again...


I have to give a shout out to Feministfrequency.com for doing some excellent work. Mwah! Love it.
...

You Like Me? You Really, Really Like Me? (Or Maybe You Just Like Searching For 'Naked Boobs'?)

Darlingest Readers,

Sometimes here at Chez NR/NP, Gabby is unhappy to find sad comments left by those who have taken offense to this little blog that is a Labor of Lust. Days like those make Gabby reach for the vodka. But, sometimes there is also good news! Blogger added a statistics page so now Gabby can see how many of you stumble across this tiny, meager little site-that-could. And we're happy to announce that our readership is up! Way up! (Well, from what we can see, considering they didn't add the stats page until Summer 2010.)

What could be more fun that that, you ask??? Knowing what word searches have led some of you to NR/NP! I hope that everyone who Google-d or Bing-ed the following phrases found exactly what they were looking for:

complete nude rape scene
hairy girls exercising naked
naked boobs
boobs naked
simulated rape
grammar uncle leon
naked girls boobs 40 dd craigslist pic
"jt talent and casting"

Much Love,
*G*
...

DANGER: Falling Apples

You may or may not have seen the recent headline: Nick Brooks Charged In Murder Of His Swimsuit Designer Girlfriend Sylvie Cachay. Domestic violence (allegedly [I guess at this stage we must give him the benefit of the doubt]) is terrible enough, but this whole thing is just plain grosser when you consider that Nick Brooks is the son of the now infamous king of the casting couch, Joseph Brooks.

An Oscar-winning composer [Joseph Brooks] faces multiple rape charges after allegedly using the award and the allure of movie stardom to tempt young women to his casting couch…Mr Brooks, who wrote and directed the 1977 film You Light Up My Life, about a comedian who has a one-night stand with a director and which won an Oscar for Best Song, faces up to 25 years in jail if convicted of first-degree rape…Prosecutors allege that Mr Brooks posted adverts on the internet site Craigslist in which he offered to turn young women into film stars.

The adverts said that an “Oscar Award-winning composer” was searching for a “new face” — a beautiful “young girl between 18 to 22”. “He intimidated them. They were frightened and suddenly found themselves in his apartment for different purposes than they had anticipated," Robert Morgenthau, the Manhattan district attorney, said.

And you know what's really scary, is his credentials are REAL. So even if you did your research, it would seem above-board. But read on (full article here)...

Most of the women targeted came from Washington state and Oregon in America’s Pacific northwest, and would have been tired by the time that they arrived to meet Mr Brooks at his flat on East 63rd Street in New York.

Once the women were inside, Mr Brooks allegedly told them to audition for the role of a prostitute in a scene that required them to drink a lot of wine.

“The part called for them to drink the wine in a seductive manner. He told them to be very comfortable with their bodies, to drink the wine and feel sexy about themselves as they became more and more intoxicated," Adam Lamboy, of the Manhattan Special Victims Squad, said.

That takes a lot of forethought, help, and deceit on his end, to be sure. So it's understandable that a girl might initially feel comfortable enough to make the cross-country trek. BUT BE FOREVER WARNED about auditions in anyone's home or apartment. Sometimes they're legit, but always be safe: request to meet at a different location, bring a friend, tell someone where you are going, and leave as soon as anything gets fishy.

All this serves to remind us, dear readers and fellow actors, that we must always be vigilant. Acting is a job, just like any other. It's not worth risking your health or your safety for.

And, should anything bad go down (god forbid), then by all means REPORT IT. To the authorities or even just to whoever hosted the casting notice. Don't let one unfortunate incident snowball to dozens. Help a gal out.

Gabby always says: 'Tis better to be alive and out of work, than to be dead or raped. Now... go forth and be awesome.
...

Casting: Roles That Have Already Been Cast

HAPPY 200TH ENTRY Nudity Required, No Pay readers! Thanks to all you lovelies out there who need a good laugh. But thanks even more to all you nutters who are busy writing scripts for a sci-fi/fantasy/historical/thriller/horror feature, which will shoot with no budget, after the cast drives themselves to the backwoods of Pennsylvania, to run through the woods naked, doing their own stunts. Your optimism is refreshing and I wish you the best! Keep the ads coming...

Yours forever truly,

Gabby

* * *
Dear Clients,

There is only a few more emailing going out like this if your not on the Database then you wont know about this stuff anymore any questions Email me

Casting Call for "Lost In Amsterdam" 7/17
LOCATION: XXXXX: 8th ave between XXXXX suite 506
12- 6pm
John XXXXX Casting
Director: Franklyn of Cypher
Producer: Mathew XXXXX
PRODUCERS: Cypher Productions, LLC

(Sides will be provided by you can have a monologue prepared) What?

Character breakdown

DOC: Artsy and tough Brooklyn transplant who runs an Urban Arts Course in Amsterdam and befriends Fynx. Cast: Courtney XXXXX

FYNX: 26 year old party promoter and artist who lives at home with her parents. Is striving to become her own person in the eyes of the people around her. She has great talents with in her but is shy to show it. Cast: Rachel XXXXX

HUMPHREY: Tall, Thin, homeless man who befriends Butterfly Jones and helps the crew from Brooklyn. Age 35-50. Uncast

KRYSTA: 30 year old club promoter and manager at a strip club who wonders how her life got out of control. She is still hanging out with and throwing parties with her high school friends and is at the end of her rope. Krysta is reevaluating everything in her life and trying to figure out who really belongs in it. Cast: Janet XXXXX

ROSCO: Albert's childhood friend and now right hand man. Slow and dim whited (Whited? *sigh*) but loyal to a fault. Rosco is deathly afraid of Little People and believes and old wive's tale about them stealing his knees. Cast: Brimstone (As in "Fire and-"?)

SALLY DOGS: Angelo has risen to the head of his crime family by only trusting one man. Sally Dogs. A distinguished man in his late 50's early 60's.. When Albert and Rosco try to go to Amsterdam to continue the scheme, Sally is there to keep an eye on them. Sally hasn't decided if he's in Amsterdam to catch Dion and his friends or to put Albert in his place for good. Cast: Ronnie The Rottweiler (At first I was like, "Oh no - is this another "Cats & Dogs" movie? But I think this might be an actual human...? It's like reading a casting notice from another planet...)

TIFFANI: Is the 30-35 year old business assistant and friend of VIctoria. Tiffany runs the business while Victoria Shines her great smile. Tiffani cares for Victoria but thinks she's too risky when it comes to the business. Cast: Carrissa XXXXX

VICTORIA: Smart and sexy socialite that catches Dion's eye. She is the heiress of a New York Architectural fortune. Although very much about having fun and living the moment, she has a deep core that does what she does for the memory of her departed brother. Cast: Lauren XXXXX

[ANGRY STRIP CLUB BOYS 1-3]: frat boy type mid 20's. Uncast

ANGRY STRIP CLUB BOYFRIEND: Cast: James XXXXX

ANGRY STRIP CLUB GIRL FRIEND: mid 20's. Uncast

WOMAN IN WINDOW: mid 20's. Uncast

AIRPORT SECURITY: Loud Black Woman in her 30's-40's. Uncast

YOUNGER ANGELO: Thin good looking man in his late 30's must look like a young. Uncast

YOUNG DION: 6-9 year old young black kid, must look like Dion. Uncast

ANGELO: Distinguished Italian crime boss, 60's-70's wants only to be on vacation but Dion and Albert won't leave him alone. Cast: Steve XXXXX

DIANE: Loud overbearing mother, who cares too much .40's. Cast: Rose XXXXX

DIGEO RIVERA: late 30's early 40's, Italian mobster. Simple spoken. Uncast (Ummm... Italian? Are you positive?)

DOUGLAS: Strong, young Black man age 30's. Uncast

CINDY: Young college aged girl who is Fynx's younger friend. Cast: Cheryl XXXXX

FANTASIA: Brash stripper, funny and confident. age 20's. Uncast

HELGA: Age 30's dutch cleaning lady with comic timing. Uncast

LOKI DA TRIXTA: Cast: Cameo Brooklyn Hip-Hop Artist

MIKE SPICE: Early 30's black or Hispanic hip hop producer. Uncast

MRS. RUSSO: Older Italian Neighborhood woman age 60-70. Uncast

SAGA ONE: Cast: Cameo Brooklyn Hip-Hop Artist

UNCLE WOODROW: Older Jive talking Black man age 70-80. Cast: Melvin Van XXXXX (ha)

VICTOR RIVERA: early 40's Italian Cultured half of the Rivera Mobster Brothers. Cast: Dominic XXXXX Jr.

ANGELO'S BUTLER: older quiet man. 70's-80's. Uncast

OLAF: Sexually Ambiguous Dutch Bellhop Age late 30's-40. Cast: Bristol XXXXX

LITTLE MAN 1: Cast: Billy XXXXX

LITTLE MAN 2: Cast: Neo

[LITTLE MEN 3-7]: Little person who is sick of being called names and has decided to kick butt. Uncast

SIR FITZGERALD YATES: Short, fat balding dirty little man, Age 40-60 who runs a brothel and mistakes Krysta as a new applicant. Uncast

STRIPER 2: mid 20's. Uncast (Oh cool - like candy stripers? Or did you forget a letter? I have a feeling you forgot a letter...)

STRIPER 3: mid 20's. Uncast

JOE FRANKLIN: himself

BUTTERFLY'S GRANDFATHER: Caucasian age 60-70. Uncast (I see a Sally Dog, a Saga One, a Fantasia and a couple of "stripers"... but who the hell is Butterfly?)

BUTTERFLY'S GRANDMOTHER: Caucasian age 60-70. Uncast
--
FRANKLYN of CYPHER Films
...

And We're Back!

Hello my lovelies,

Gabby is sorry to have been gone for so long. Did you miss me? I've been busy working as an actress on various projects that not only pay me some seed, but also put me in threads. Can you dig it?

During my down-time I have also received frowny comments from some of my deliciously creative readers, who seem upset that I have taken an interest in their pursuit of uncompensated nudity. Can you imagine? Why, all I do is spread the word as they wrote it. Tsk tsk. Such a shame. I've decided from now on to highlight in red the verbiage of interest in each post so they can better see how it fits my theme. Groovy.

I hope to be writing to you all more often from now on.

CiaoXXXXX,

Gabby

...

But Seriously, For A Moment...

Six-Time Felon Arrested in Actor's Murder
by Lauren Horwitch

July 14, 2006

CourtTV.com reports six-time convicted felon Victor Paleologus has been charged with the murder of actor Kristine Johnson whose body was found Mar. 3, 2003 in a ravine in the Hollywood Hills. She had been last seen going to an audition... As previously reported, 21-year-old Johnson vanished Feb. 15, 2003 after telling a roommate a photographer had approached her at the Century City Mall and asked to take pictures of her for a movie production. A police sketch was created with the help of a woman who told police she was similarly approached at the same mall and had met the man in West Hollywood. Her boyfriend, a former law enforcement officer, had chased the man away when he became aggressive. Investigators began focusing on Paleologus due to the sketch...

I just saw that article online. Pretty scary stuff. A bit of advice for any actor who is approached by someone offering them a contract/work/audition/meeting/etc.: Do your research first. Find out if this person is legit. Ask for a reference. If your still uncertain - bring a friend with you to the meeting/audition. Tell someone where you are going and when, and that you will check in with them when you're done. If anything feels weird - listen to your gut! If you're worried about burning bridges - you can be firm yet polite. Explain that you're willing to continue the dialog so long as you feel comfortable (by meeting in a public place, bringing a friend to the meeting or asking for a reference).

Anyone that is legitimate and interested in working with you will have no problems with your requests. In fact, they'll probably admire your intelligence and professionalism.
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