On the Subject of Lady Parts...

Dear Mr. Feig,

I’m know you’ve had more than your share of supporters and critics online regarding “Ghostbusters,” and yesterday I added my $0.02 on Twitter – saying (or trying to) that while I’m a bit tired of re-boots myself, I have also noticed how no one else really seemed to care until you changed a male cast to a female cast. Which we both know is total crap. Because if you’re willing to go see every “Batman” that gets made (as I’m sure all your trolls have and will), then why not try one new take on “Ghostbusters”?

(I mean, we both know why they won't, and it has nothing to do with integrity - artistic or otherwise.)

I do agree we need more new ideas (though actually what we need is more financial support for new ideas – both in Hollywood and Broadway – because the stories are out there, it's just hard to get backers who want to take risks). But I also know that art has long been derivative. People don’t look at Broadway marquees and moan, “’Hamlet’? AGAIN?!” It can be fun and meaningful to re-imagine art that inspires us. One of my favorite paintings by Manet is a total reboot of a painting by Titian. And yet it is still, on it’s own, an important piece of work.

Anyway, I’m not saying “Ghostbusters” with women will change the world or be 'Important' – I just hope it’s fun and represents women well. And I thank you for having the courage and brilliant mind to say yes to a female cast. There is nothing wrong with the idea of making this film, and I plan to buy a ticket.

Sincerely,

A supporter

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow...

Dearest Most Darling Readers,

You are my sun, my moon, my stars and my cocktail olives. I love you more than anything, but I have let you down. I have been neglecting this blog for over a year. No apology can ever undo such damage. But I beg your forgiveness anyway.

It has become apparent to this old (yet still devastatingly beautiful) dragon that I just simply don't have the time or the heart for it anymore. Or, perhaps more accurately: other people are doing it better. Like Casting Call Woe on Tumblr. Brilliant. Why didn't I think of it?

Whatever. It's alright. I pass the mantle onto them and say, "Godspeed and keep your clothes on, unless there's decent pay in it or you just like getting naked, you filthy, sexy animal."

Anyway, I leave you with his one last tidbit below - a piece that several people emailed me about asking "Is this yours?" The answer is no, it is not. But I am glad to have perhaps helped engender an environment where no pay for nudity is laughable. And thrilled to maybe even have helped actors realize that sweating an audition for some dumb-ass concept that will never make it off the ground only ends up wasting their time and sanity. SO DON'T DO IT. God. Just listen to that inner voice. Nurture it. And re-read every post on here as a reminder of what bullshit looks like.

And with that I must listen to my own gin-soaked gut and hug and kiss you goodbye. Goodbye, my loves. You will forever be in my heart.

Most Sincerely,
Gabriella

PS - I still have a ton of drafts saved so who knows when I might pop back in but don't count on it. Wet kisses xxx

NO PAY NUDITY (Stand-Ins)
Feature Film
SAG-AFTRA Modified Low Budget
Non-Union Rate: Stand In Role $75.00

Producer: Quentin XXXXX
Casting Director: XXXXX Casting
Shoot: June 23 until July 3 (No Weekends) 2014
Location: New York

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY       

Hiring Non Union - No Nudity In The Film - Must Be Available All Dates

[ STAND IN - GABRIEL BYRNES ]
Lester Rosenthal
Height: 5'10"
Waist: 42 x 36
Dates for this role only are June 23 - July 18  (No Weekends)

[ STAND- IN NATHAN LANE ]
Herschel Thalkin
Height: 5'7"
Round - Bigger Guy

[ STAND-IN FRANCES CONROY ]
Andrea Montague
Height: 5'6.5"
Weight: 130lbs.

[ STAND-IN BOYD GAINES ]
Stephen Martin
Height: 5'11"
Light-Brown/Gray Beard
Waist: 42 x 34

THE END

Everyone Loves A Nymphomaniac

Event Horizon
Red Shift Films
Desmond XXXXX, Producer

Production Description

Marcus is a nymphomaniac (of course he is!) who has stopped feeling any true enjoyment from sex. In fact the act has become more painful than pleasurable. However his addiction won't make him stop--like gravity it keeps pulling him in. On this night he encounters four women, each encounter taking him some place deeper (tee hee), darker and more depraved--seemingly drawing him into a Black Hole (oh god). Will he lose his soul, will he survive till dawn? (And do we care????)

"Event Horizon" is a Short film told primarily through music and images. The Male lead has already been cast. (Ok, I've got $50 on the writer/director/producer being the male lead... who's in?)  Seeking four talented, female model/actors to fill out the cast.

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations
Auditions will be held the week of October 7th in NYC.

Compensation & Union Contract Details
$200 per day

Seeking Talent Select a role below for more information and submission instructions.

Saphia: (Supporting) A recent college grad, beautiful and sexy; a little naive but also adventurous. She meets Marcus at a club and is drawn to him not knowing the dark night he's about to draw her into.

Nudity
Yes

Alexis: (Supporting) Alexis is beautiful, elegant and cultured. Her upright presentation belies her inner most sexual desires and demons (which are more... horizontal?).

Nudity
Yes

Maya: (Supporting) Like Marcus, Maya is an addict as well. She teaches elementary school in the day, and spends her nights in New York City''s seedy underground.

Nudity
Yes

Liza: (Supporting) Liza is as beautiful as she is dark. She believes death is the greatest climax and the only way to truly speak to God. She tries to convince Marcus to take that final journey with her.

Nudity
Yes

Seeking submissions from: New York City, NY

You know what? I want to write a movie. Lets pop a few quarters into the cliche-o-meter and see what we get:

A handsome but tormented man suffering from alcohol/drug/sex addiction finds some sort of emotional/spiritual/professional redemption by having sex with lots of beautiful/hot/nymphomaniac women and then suddenly we see him as human/sympathetic/flawed... and the women... well we never even learn their last names/professions/reasonable motivation for falling for the male lead. But we do get to see their nipples/ass/orgasm face. 

THE END