Monday, August 07, 2006

Make Your Mother Proud: Get Naked With Tisch Students (They're Super-Talented, You Know)


No Outlet Group, LLC is casting House of Sand, a low-budget mini35 DV teen horror feature about four high school seniors whose summer vacation at the beach turns into a nightmare when they run into two drifters interested in more than having a good time. Paul and Daniel XXXXX, co-dirs. Weekly rehearsals ongoing through September in Brooklyn and NYC; shooting Sept. 17-Oct. 2 at a beach house on the bay. Seeking -Jenna: featured role, 18, tall, blonde or light-haired, very attractive, sassy, sarcastic, flirtatious, partial nudity required for group skinny-dipping scene. Note: Tisch talent attached for other roles. Send pix & resumes to Paul XXXXX, 132 XXXXX, Brooklyn, NY 11231; or email No pay, but videocopy, credit, meals, transportation, and lodging (all cast and crew will be housed at the beach house for the duration of the shoot) provided.

Over the years people have marveled at the difference between "low-budget", "super-low budget", "zero-budget", etc. And since this notice isn't particularly funny or noteworthy - except for the classic 'nudity required/no pay' stipulations - I will venture my guesses regarding these budget types here:

Low-Budget: "I've held down two terrible part time jobs for the past year and a half to earn enough cash to pay for a camera, gas, some props and a pizza for every day we shoot. I would kick a few bucks your way if I could - but on the last day of the shoot if there's anything left, I'll probably spend that on a case of beer."

Super/Ultra-Low-Budget: "I pocketed the money my dad gave me last week to get the car washed and I'm gonna use it to make my opus. I'm borrowing my friend Hank's handi-cam on the condition that I let him help me 'audition' the girls who will play the Vampire Maidens from Uranus. I can't afford props or costumes so it's gonna have to all be improv'ed and everyone will have to be naked except the homeless man from in front of the 7-11 who I bribed to be in the shoot with a can of Pepsi."

No-Budget: "I'm not sure what I'm doing."

Zero-Budget: "Can I borrow a couple bucks? I'll let you be in my movie."

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