Way back when, in the olden days before blogs existed, Gabby started collecting annoying casting notices in her email (most were sent via a list serv). Some have already been tweaked and added to NR/NP, some still sit gathering dust in an AOL account (I'm kidding - who uses AOL anymore?). Here's a blast way back to the past... all the way to 2002 (or so). So, let's take a peek at this ad and ask ourselves if the marriage of thong bikinis and miniskirts into a "festival" is as good a marriage as Liza Minnelli's to David Gest:
From: "suntanguy" <XXXXX.net>
Subject: Annual Thong Bikini / Mini Skirt Festival
Our Annual Thong Bikini and Mini Skirt Festival is looking for beautiful, exotic, sexy, long legged, long haired, tall, thin female models and contestants, sizes small and medium only. For consideration and an invitation to participate you need to submit a full body image of you in a mini skirt and a thong bikini via snail mail or email to XXXXX. Fine Art Productions, R. XXXXX Pictures, MultiMedia, InterActive XXXXX, Newburgh, NY 12550-4034
I can't decide which I like better - the fact that this is a "festival", that the company producing it has "Fine Art" in the title, or that the guy who wrote the ad goes by the nickname "suntanguy". (Hey - you don't think it's George Hamilton, do you?)
...
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
That Is The Question
IS NUDITY REQUIRED?
Live Project NON-UNION
Producer: Turk XXXXX
Writer: Steve XXXXX
Casting Associate: Bobby XXXXX
Casting Director: Turk XXXXX
Interview Dates: TBD Shoot/Start Date: 3/10/2010
Pay Rate: Credit
Location: West Adams district of Los Angeles
SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY NOTE: ALSO INCLUDE PERFORMANCE VIDEOS OR ACTOR SLATES IF AVAILABLE. DO NOT SEND DEMO TAPES.
[ FRITZ ] - M 30s, husky producer
[ HOWIE ] - M 30s, skinny writer
[ MOFO ] M, poster boy mafia
[ MUFFIN ] F, hot young girlfriend (With a name like Muffin... I just can't.)
[ CORKY ] M, nerdy casting director
[ JUDY & CONNIE ] F, nerdy sisters
[ PRINCESS ] F, hot stcked blonde
[ BARBARA ] F, cold hearted bitch golddigger actress
[ SAMSON ] M, gay actor
[ GENEVIEVE ] F, fake French atrist
[ JAKE ] M, artist's model
[ ROBERTA ] F, punk pierced tatted (Are we to assume you mean tattooed?)
[ CHRISSY ] F, nerd a la Tomlin
[ DON ] M, surfer dude
[ TONY ] M, lug nut
[ PEACHES ] F, porn credits (?)
[ APRIL & MAY ] F, blonde bombshells
[ CRAIG ] M, wannabe
[ BETH ] F, wannabe
Story: Two idiots putting on a T&A play in Hollywood. (Their words - not mine!) This show is 6 scenes of 2-4 actors in audition or rehearsal for the T&A play that Fritz and Howie are putting on. Funny!
Ah, yes... art imitating life. But the question remains... is nudity required for this project??? .??
.....
Live Project NON-UNION
Producer: Turk XXXXX
Writer: Steve XXXXX
Casting Associate: Bobby XXXXX
Casting Director: Turk XXXXX
Interview Dates: TBD Shoot/Start Date: 3/10/2010
Pay Rate: Credit
Location: West Adams district of Los Angeles
SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY NOTE: ALSO INCLUDE PERFORMANCE VIDEOS OR ACTOR SLATES IF AVAILABLE. DO NOT SEND DEMO TAPES.
[ FRITZ ] - M 30s, husky producer
[ HOWIE ] - M 30s, skinny writer
[ MOFO ] M, poster boy mafia
[ MUFFIN ] F, hot young girlfriend (With a name like Muffin... I just can't.)
[ CORKY ] M, nerdy casting director
[ JUDY & CONNIE ] F, nerdy sisters
[ PRINCESS ] F, hot stcked blonde
[ BARBARA ] F, cold hearted bitch golddigger actress
[ SAMSON ] M, gay actor
[ GENEVIEVE ] F, fake French atrist
[ JAKE ] M, artist's model
[ ROBERTA ] F, punk pierced tatted (Are we to assume you mean tattooed?)
[ CHRISSY ] F, nerd a la Tomlin
[ DON ] M, surfer dude
[ TONY ] M, lug nut
[ PEACHES ] F, porn credits (?)
[ APRIL & MAY ] F, blonde bombshells
[ CRAIG ] M, wannabe
[ BETH ] F, wannabe
Story: Two idiots putting on a T&A play in Hollywood. (Their words - not mine!) This show is 6 scenes of 2-4 actors in audition or rehearsal for the T&A play that Fritz and Howie are putting on. Funny!
Ah, yes... art imitating life. But the question remains... is nudity required for this project??? .??
.....
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sexy In A Non-Sexual Way
Way back when, in the olden days before blogs existed, Gabby started collecting annoying casting notices in her email. Some have already been tweaked and added to NR/NP, some still sit gathering dust in an AOL account (I'm kidding - does AOL exist anymore?). Here's a blast way back to the past... all the way to 2002-ish. So, let's crank up the 2002 Nelly, read this nutty ad, and really feel the pressure to take off all our clothes:
Golden Lite Pictures of NY is casting for the lead female role in a sexy comedy SHORT to be shot on digital in NYC in April. As far as Acting Skills, the part requires good dialogue skills, good timing with both deliveries & reactions. (Oh wow... so is that what acting is???) Physical Requirements: imperative -- very attractive, aged 18-26, very sexy but in a clean-cut way, and the role is very sexy as far as the humor being set-up via a sensual presence & attitude, and requires some butt and breast nudity but certainly/absolutely non-sexual; (But you said it was a "sexy comedy short"? I'm confused. Oh, well - if I have to show some T&A for you in a 'non-sexual' way and act at the same time, then I'm sure you're gonna make it worth my while... right?) Meals will be provided, and of course a copy of the completed tape. There is no pay at this time. (Oh.) Please send a note or any pertinent info, along with a resume if you have one, and any JPG photos that you have.
I have to write a note? And send a resume if I have one? Wow, this acting thing is hard.
..
Golden Lite Pictures of NY is casting for the lead female role in a sexy comedy SHORT to be shot on digital in NYC in April. As far as Acting Skills, the part requires good dialogue skills, good timing with both deliveries & reactions. (Oh wow... so is that what acting is???) Physical Requirements: imperative -- very attractive, aged 18-26, very sexy but in a clean-cut way, and the role is very sexy as far as the humor being set-up via a sensual presence & attitude, and requires some butt and breast nudity but certainly/absolutely non-sexual; (But you said it was a "sexy comedy short"? I'm confused. Oh, well - if I have to show some T&A for you in a 'non-sexual' way and act at the same time, then I'm sure you're gonna make it worth my while... right?) Meals will be provided, and of course a copy of the completed tape. There is no pay at this time. (Oh.) Please send a note or any pertinent info, along with a resume if you have one, and any JPG photos that you have.
I have to write a note? And send a resume if I have one? Wow, this acting thing is hard.
..
Monday, November 08, 2010
Something For Everyone
Women needed for various filming (Harrison)
Date: 2010-11-04, 4:13PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I will be honest and straight up ('K, thanks), I work with 4 different video companies (That's good). Here are the 2 categories looking for ladies.
1) Hip Hop videos no nudity nothing implied
2) Adult Video... (High pay, nudity, sexual nature)
* Location: Harrison
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Depends on which your cast for.
So many companies... so few options.
...
Date: 2010-11-04, 4:13PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I will be honest and straight up ('K, thanks), I work with 4 different video companies (That's good). Here are the 2 categories looking for ladies.
1) Hip Hop videos no nudity nothing implied
2) Adult Video... (High pay, nudity, sexual nature)
* Location: Harrison
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Depends on which your cast for.
So many companies... so few options.
...
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Scraping The Bottom Of The Outhouse.
CHARMIN 'ENJOY THE GO' CONTEST
Charmin is seeking submissions for Enjoy the Go, a nationwide contest in an effort to create a movement where the entire nation can enjoy a better bathroom experience. Sponsor states: "We're calling it the Charmin Go Nation. It's made up of people who actually enjoy going to the bathroom because they have Charmin bathroom tissue." The purpose of the contest is to help bring to life the meaning of "Enjoy the go," and spread the word throughout the nation.
Seeking—Video Entry Submissions: up to two minutes in length, creative, answering the following questions including "Why do you deserve to represent your state/district as a member of the Charmin Go Nation?," "What does 'Enjoy the go' mean to you?," and "If chosen, how would you best represent your state/district as the Charmin Go Nation King/Queen?" Note: Contest is open only to legal residents of the 50 United States and D.C., who must be 21+ as of the last day of the month prior to the date of entry.
For more info and to enter, visit XXXXX.com. Complete the online registration form and upload your video and a color headshot photo; video and photo cannot be taken by professional videographers or photographers. See website for official rules and judging criteria. Submission deadline is Nov. 7 at 5 p.m. No entry fee or purchases required. One King or Queen Grand Prize wins $50,000, plus an extended stay in NYC through New Year's Eve; five First Prize Finalists win a three-day/two-night trip for two to NYC the week of Dec. 27 for the finale event at the Charmin Times Square Restrooms, plus $500 spending money; 51 Charmin Go Nation Representatives win $500.
Have you ever been going about your day normally, then suddenly you realize you're seeing/reading something that is so uncontrollably crazy that you feel like you're no longer living in reality, or like someone has slipped you a mickey?
Yeah, me too.
...
Charmin is seeking submissions for Enjoy the Go, a nationwide contest in an effort to create a movement where the entire nation can enjoy a better bathroom experience. Sponsor states: "We're calling it the Charmin Go Nation. It's made up of people who actually enjoy going to the bathroom because they have Charmin bathroom tissue." The purpose of the contest is to help bring to life the meaning of "Enjoy the go," and spread the word throughout the nation.
Seeking—Video Entry Submissions: up to two minutes in length, creative, answering the following questions including "Why do you deserve to represent your state/district as a member of the Charmin Go Nation?," "What does 'Enjoy the go' mean to you?," and "If chosen, how would you best represent your state/district as the Charmin Go Nation King/Queen?" Note: Contest is open only to legal residents of the 50 United States and D.C., who must be 21+ as of the last day of the month prior to the date of entry.
For more info and to enter, visit XXXXX.com. Complete the online registration form and upload your video and a color headshot photo; video and photo cannot be taken by professional videographers or photographers. See website for official rules and judging criteria. Submission deadline is Nov. 7 at 5 p.m. No entry fee or purchases required. One King or Queen Grand Prize wins $50,000, plus an extended stay in NYC through New Year's Eve; five First Prize Finalists win a three-day/two-night trip for two to NYC the week of Dec. 27 for the finale event at the Charmin Times Square Restrooms, plus $500 spending money; 51 Charmin Go Nation Representatives win $500.
Have you ever been going about your day normally, then suddenly you realize you're seeing/reading something that is so uncontrollably crazy that you feel like you're no longer living in reality, or like someone has slipped you a mickey?
Yeah, me too.
...
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