Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Seriously, Someone Call The Cops

need gorgeous actress for "how-to-hypnotize-a-hot-chick" video PG-13
Date: 2010-03-23, 5:39AM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Internet company needs one gorgeous actress or female entertainer for an instructional video for men on how to use hypnosis to seduce beautiful women. Actress will play the "hot chick" role but need not actually be under hypnosis during filming (i.e., she's safe ['safe'? 'SAFE'????!!!!*]). Talent will have to know how to ACT hypnotized.

Topic is controversial, so talent should not be shy about rocking the boat. Controversial????? CONTROVERSIAL?????!!!?!!? I think "illegal" is probably more accurate. Here's a hint for how to figure out if something is evil and wrong: Would you be ok if someone did this to your sister/mother/the love of your life? No? THEN YOU SHOULD NOT DO IT, YOURSELF.

*And when you imply that your techniques, when applied in real life, are NOT safe, that is an even bigger clue that what you are doing is wrong.

For consideration, please submit the following:

Statement of age (be 18+)
Resume/Portfolio, or links to same
At least one clear photo (no glam, angles, or low-contrast backgrounds)
Contact information and good time to call.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $500.00 for one day of filming, minus the value of your eternal soul.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Good Girls Gone Hackneyed

Posted on March 02, 2010

Diamond Entertainment Productions is currently accepting headshot and resumes from non-union actors for its upcoming short film production tentatively entitled Alana. Filming is intended to begin late April/early May. Auditions are tentatively scheduled for early April. At this time,
all roles are unpaid. Cast will be given on screen credit, copies of the film, and meals. Payments may be offered to Lead and Supporting roles in the future, but are not guaranteed. If you are interested in auditioning for any of the roles listed below please send your headshot and resume to XXXXX.com and include the role you are interested in. All headshots and resumes will be kept on file for future project as well.

Alana: Female Lead Alana is a Caucasian female that will be portrayed from age 16 to 25. She follows the arc of good girl gone bad going from an honor roll student to an exotic dancer/prostitute. Her path from one side to the other is unique, painful, dark, and deadly. This role is a very challenging and demanding role
...and also very cliche and has been done to death. The actress for this role must be able to cry on cue, have a dynamic emotional range, an be willing to film sexually explicit scenes (nothing pornographic) which require nudity. Any questions regarding how the role will be filmed can asked prior to and at the audition. Serious inquiries only. Kyle: Male Supporting Kyle is a Caucasian male in the age range of 50-55. He is the well to do absentee father of Alana. A solid businessman, Kyle is upper-middle class, likes to keep in shape, and appear above his status. Samantha: Female Supporting Samantha is a Caucasian female in the age range of 50-55. She is the mother of Alana who's been too self absorbed in her own misery to tend to her daughters growing pains. Samantha has always been a housewife and never ventured into the work force. She lives off her alimony/child support payments and her many boyfriends. Gerry: Male Supporting Gerry is a Caucasian male in the age range of 24-26. Gerry is Alana's best friend who holds a secret love interest toward her but is afraid to pursue it. Gerry is the classic Nice Guy/Guy Next Door/Friend Zone type of man. Scott: Male Supporting Scott is a Caucasian male in the age range of 20-23. Scott is Alana's top "favor trader" who is frustrated with Alana's rules and wants more bang for his bucks. Scott is narcissistic, elitist, who believe everyone is beneath him. He works out regularly to maintain his athletic/muscular build. Jonathan: Male Supporting Jonathan is a Caucasian male in the age range of 16-18. Jonathan is Alana's first boyfriend and first love. Jonathan plays on Alana's vulnerabilities and discards her when his objectives are achieved. Extras All Genders. Age range 16-60.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Say It Again, Sam

Now casting: Lead female role in upcoming spy thriller (NJ)
Date: 2010-02-09, 10:20AM EST
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Director: XXXXX Duncan. This spy thriller espionage film turns the roles of dominance and submission on it's end as two leading lady protagonists battle it out for sole supremacy (of...?)

The character of 'Benji'
(like the dog? Not very sexy) has a meek and mild appearance but wait until she is thrust into a life and death situation. Then how will she react? (I'm guessing she reacts by getting naked. Am I right???) The character of 'Andrea', while by all appearances, a sultry beauty, has a dark side that can be lethal (I wouldn't think being sultry & beautiful would seem to exclude being dark & lethal. Perhaps you may want to reconsider this little character "twist".)

Note: All roles in this film involve some nudity and intimate sensuality

* Location: NJ
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $250/hr (Not bad except I have a feeling this shoot will probably only take an hour)

I love all the redundancy in this ad: "spy thriller espionage film", and "leading lady protagonists", but am mostly confused by how any battle for supremacy can take place when one party is dominant and the other submissive? Isn't that the point of submitting?

Well, what do I know - maybe that's the whole crazy turn-it-on-its-head part. I guess I'll just leave the clever, naked & sex-filled movie making to the pros. The pros who advertise on Craigslist.