Thursday, April 27, 2006

You Do It At Home - Now Do It On Stage! (Dancing topless, that is. Not the orgies part. Or maybe you do... that's none of my business)

Do What Now Productions is casting Orgy of the Dead!, its upcoming comedy burlesque spoof inspired by the Ed Wood cult classic. Michele XXXXX, prod.; Frank XXXXX, dir. Runs June 25-July 11 in The Red Room, NYC.Seeking—Empress of the Dead: 21-30, female, statuesque, imposing, sexy Vampira-type, must dance and move very well and have great comic timing; Linda: 21-25, female, stylish, slim Eurohip diva, good dancer, good comic instincts; Female Dancers: 21-30, especially seeking classic and unique physical and character “types”, such as pinup girls, femme fatales, divas, etc., background in and knowledge of classic burlesque a plus but not required, must dance/move very well, be fearless and creative, with strong comic skills and great stage presence, dancers will develop their own character-routine with chorerographer, dancers will also play some comic backup roles, the brassier, the bolder, the braver, the better, topless nudity/pasties required for some parts, not all (because that would be just "too much"). Auditions will be held by appt. the first weekend in May. Actors will be given a selection of music, asked to work up brief routine around strong character model, and perform from sides. Send pix to Do What Now Casting, Attn: Michele XXXXX, c/o XXXXX, NYC 10003. No pay.

Actually, I think this sounds sort of cute, if they do it well. Too bad I'm not really the 'dancing around naked in public' sort of gal... You know, unless I'm being paid... (with actual money - not free pizza and a wam Mr. Pibb.)

A Little Thong, A little Dance...

Amy XXXXX (prod.) is casting an untitled Steve XXXXX film, a feature-length crime drama that has been invited to be in the 2006 Action on Film International Film Festival in Long Beach, CA. (Wait... it hasn't even been made yet! They're just casting for it now!) Steve XXXXX, writer-dir. Shooting in NY.Seeking—Ruby: any ethnicity, a prostitute, attractive, seductive, engaging, scene played topless and in thong, no simulated sex, scene pivotal to understanding antagonist’s lifestyle, takes one of the antagonist’s lollipops and gets reprimanded for it, one scene, no lines, closed set; Crystal: 18-29, any ethnicity, a prostitute-dancer, attractive, seductive, engaging, scene played topless and in thong, no simulated sex, scene pivotal to understanding antagonist’s lifestyle, gives antagonist’s sidekick a lap dance, one scene, no lines, closed set; Goliath: musclebound mute, an oversized nonspeaking sidekick to the antagonist, must be extremely physically fit and capable of minor falls, has four scenes. Email pix & résumés to For more info on the filmmaker, visit XXXXX. No pay.

...Some strange actor's hands down your pants! And no pay! But you do get a lollipop. So that's something.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Deja Vu


ShriekCinema is casting for twist-ending horror shorts and a gothic-type feature film. Keith Matturro, dir.Seeking——Females: 18-30ish, attractive, exotic and busty types to play lead heroines, victims, vampresses, gypsies, nurses, maids; Males: 30+, character types for intense scientists, Catholic priests. Note: No experience necessary (model-types welcome).Send pix & résumés to ShriekCinema, XXXXX, NY 11767, Attn: Keith XXXXX. For more info, visit XXXXX. Transportation and DVD copy provided. Pay for leads.

Seriously? This exact same ad ran in Back Stage last June. It's on this site under the heading "Boobs Make Everything Scarier". How many movies can one company make in a year featuring nurses, gypsies, maids and vampresses??? I'm beginning to think the "twist ending" is that you think you're coming in for an audition for an actual movie, but turns out you're really just coming in to make some creepy guy's day.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Ummm... Ew?

Baby Hippopotamus Productions is casting Weasel Erotica, a comedy about love, relationships, and naughty zoo animals, and loving relations with naughty zoo animals. Rich XXXXX, prod. Rehearsals begin late May; runs Aug. 4-27 in NYC.Seeking—Ms. Rittenrotten: late 30s-50s, Margaret Dumont-type, off-center wealthy dowager; Alison: 20s-30s, savvy businesswoman at the end of her rope; Flo: 20s-30s, sexy, sultry seductress for hire; The Zoo Girls: exotic dancer types who also serve as zookeepers; Harry: 30s-40s, dimwitted con-man with a heart of gold; Roy: 20s-30s, handsome loner who can’t seem to do much of anything right; Males and Females: 18+, any ethnicity, to play various characters; Puppeteers: also needed to help create, build and control a zoo full of randy animals. Auditions will be held by appt. For consideration, send pix & résumés to Weasel Casting, Baby Hippopotamus Productions, XXXXX., Ste. 2, Union City, NJ 07087; or email to No pay.

Also needed: Two actors (male of female, any age range) to represent "the line of bad taste", so that this play can LEAP RIGHT OVER IT!

(Sure... I joke now... but I'm sure I'll regret never having sent in my picture when it's a hit.)

Italy?! Oh, The Horror!!!


Nuragic Films is casting The Seer, an independent horror/thriller feature film. Luigi XXXXX, dir.; Wendi XXXXX, casting dir. Shooting in June in Sardinia, Italy. Seeking—Paolo: 30s, Italian-looking, Italian accent a plus but not necessary, handsome, detective type, must be available in June, LEAD; Agata & Ada: females, 18-28, tall, slim, sexy, beautiful, twins and/or sisters strongly encouraged to apply, partial nudity required, must be available for two to three weeks in mid-June; Giusti: 50s, male, historian, intellectual type, must be available for one week in June. Send pix & résumés ASAP to OTSP, Attn: Wendi, XXXXX., 4th fl., NYC 10017; or email XXXXX. No pay, but transportation to and from Sardinia and on the Island will be provided, along with meals and accommodations.

If you're independently wealthy and can afford to spend three weeks without pay, after buying airfare to Italy (they just said travel to the island was provided, but not from where. I'm assuming just from the main land since, if they had enough dough to buy my international flight, then I feel they could at least give me a per diem), and would rather spend that time "working" as you are "partially nude" with your sister, or someone similar... then I say got for it. Go. For. It.