Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow...

Dearest Most Darling Readers,

You are my sun, my moon, my stars and my cocktail olives. I love you more than anything, but I have let you down. I have been neglecting this blog for over a year. No apology can ever undo such damage. But I beg your forgiveness anyway.

It has become apparent to this old (yet still devastatingly beautiful) dragon that I just simply don't have the time or the heart for it anymore. Or, perhaps more accurately: other people are doing it better. Like Casting Call Woe on Tumblr. Brilliant. Why didn't I think of it?

Whatever. It's alright. I pass the mantle onto them and say, "Godspeed and keep your clothes on, unless there's decent pay in it or you just like getting naked, you filthy, sexy animal."

Anyway, I leave you with his one last tidbit below - a piece that several people emailed me about asking "Is this yours?" The answer is no, it is not. But I am glad to have perhaps helped engender an environment where no pay for nudity is laughable. And thrilled to maybe even have helped actors realize that sweating an audition for some dumb-ass concept that will never make it off the ground only ends up wasting their time and sanity. SO DON'T DO IT. God. Just listen to that inner voice. Nurture it. And re-read every post on here as a reminder of what bullshit looks like.

And with that I must listen to my own gin-soaked gut and hug and kiss you goodbye. Goodbye, my loves. You will forever be in my heart.

Most Sincerely,
Gabriella

PS - I still have a ton of drafts saved so who knows when I might pop back in but don't count on it. Wet kisses xxx

NO PAY NUDITY (Stand-Ins)
Feature Film
SAG-AFTRA Modified Low Budget
Non-Union Rate: Stand In Role $75.00

Producer: Quentin XXXXX
Casting Director: XXXXX Casting
Shoot: June 23 until July 3 (No Weekends) 2014
Location: New York

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY       

Hiring Non Union - No Nudity In The Film - Must Be Available All Dates

[ STAND IN - GABRIEL BYRNES ]
Lester Rosenthal
Height: 5'10"
Waist: 42 x 36
Dates for this role only are June 23 - July 18  (No Weekends)

[ STAND- IN NATHAN LANE ]
Herschel Thalkin
Height: 5'7"
Round - Bigger Guy

[ STAND-IN FRANCES CONROY ]
Andrea Montague
Height: 5'6.5"
Weight: 130lbs.

[ STAND-IN BOYD GAINES ]
Stephen Martin
Height: 5'11"
Light-Brown/Gray Beard
Waist: 42 x 34

THE END

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

In a way this is sort of a weird blog...I guess you don't have any problem with people doing fight scenes where they could be hurt for no pay? That could be a lot worse for people, especially ones who don't care about getting naked. Why is nudity so dirty? I mean, I know it can be a crutch used for cruddy movies but I think there's worse actors can be asked to do. Plus they can always say no thanks.

Gabby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gabby said...

I'm so sorry you're confused. Maybe if you'd done some homework; read a few posts it would be clear. But let me hold your hand for you:

First, it is not that nudity is 'dirty' (there are many types of nudity, after all) or less bad than fighting (if you browsed these ads you'd see I pick on ads asking for stunts for free as stupid too [if they can't pay you - are they at least paying insurance? God I hope so]), rather it's a larger issue of people wanting more for less. They want us to work for them (acting is a job) and put ourselves on record in weird-ass situations - to be viewable long after we have perhaps snapped out of whatever desperation we once were in when we considered playing topless alien vampires for a terrible student film. Remember: we're getting naked in *someone else's* art piece. Your project is not *our* vision for ourselves, necessarily. So assuming we *want* to play a woman who is raped on a train and to have to do our own stunts naked, is assuming a lot.

Second, I've explained my stance on here several times: if you are truly happy and eager to do it (NOT: "Well I guess that's what I have to do") then go for it! Be happy. If you're all like "Man I just want to play a prostitute with prehensile hair and to not be paid for it" then I want that for you, too. But there is nothing wrong in knowing your worth and asking for some form of compensation: $50, travel reimbursement, hotel stay, etc.

And finally, if you truly cannot pay your actors then you might need to adjust your expectations of them until you are able to do a project that does pay them.

Still confused? Check out what people have been saying about the Lena Dunham book tour and the Oprah "Best Life Ever" tour (or whatever it is called). Artists are tired and annoyed with being asked to work - and to go above and beyond with nudity, simulated rape scenes, etc - without thoughtful compensation.

The end. And you're welcome.

Anonymous said...

Wow Gabby, you're sort of an asshole. Guess that's why you put so much time into a blog dedicated to making fun of stuff. Well, that's what the internet s for I guess!

Anonymous said...

Guess you won't post my response to you...well, this way you'll get the last patronizing, smarmy word. Controlling an avenue of discussion is fun!

Gabby said...

Gabby doesn't check her email very often on weekends. I'm often busy trying to get people to do my housework for me for free (and in the nude - it's a fetish. Is nudity dirty if it happens while cleaning?).

Anywhozzle, no hard feelings I hope. I mean, you come out on top because this blog has closed. I refer you to CASTING CALL WOE where you might be surprised to find other actors continue to laugh at silly projects and silly descriptions of projects. Apparently this world is filled with patronizing smarm.

Kisses.