Tuesday, September 04, 2012

A Shout Out

Hello Readers,

We have been playing around with page layouts here. Raul wants something manly, but Filipe wants something sparkly. What to do! For now we're settling on purple stars and will mull it over while mixing some cocktails and trading massages.

In the meantime, I stumbled across this delightful blog whose title I am desperately jealous of: Fat, Ugly or Slutty. (Why didn't I think of that? This blog could be called Prudish, Bitter or Just a Bitch.) It is a brilliant response to sexism in gaming. Not that Gabby plays games. Just gin... 

But I am being told that's what I drink, not what I play.


For more delightfully frightening news on the pervasiveness of sexism and misogyny in the online world, break out your reading glasses and slip this on for size: In Virtual Play, Sex Harassment Is All Too Real.

Thanks for reading and we hope to nail down a template some time in the near future. (Or maybe never making up our minds will be the new theme...?)

Remember to hug an unemployed actor... and to keep your pants on. Or try to. Depending on the circumstances, of course.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Classic NR/NP


SoJe Productions is casting "Choices," a show is about people whose lives are tested by their choices. There will also be a reality "behind the scenes" project about the filming of "Choices." Producers state: The show will "showcase the urban (African-American, Cubans, etc.) community. We want to deliver steamy, real, exciting, and intriguing episodes. Think of a gritty drama series that focus on the DC surrounding areas." Jose XXXXX, creator; Alex XXXXX, dir.; Shareeda XXXXX, creative dir.

Seeking—Erika: mid 20s, African-American or mixed, a fun-loving person, Dominic's girlfriend, can get very annoying, will be required to appear partially clothed (bra and panties or bathing suit) for an implied sex scene; Terrance: early 30s, African-American, Maurice's best friend and is in love with his wife, has a drinking problem, cool and blunt, rear nudity may be required for an implied sex scene; Extras: males and females.

To apply, submit pix & résumés XXXXX. No pay.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

On The List Of Things I Will NOT Do For My Brother:

HEALING THE STUPID (If only...) (Additional Roles)
Feature Film
SAG ULB Feature

Producer: Amy XXXXX, Ben XXXXX
Director: Adam XXXXX
Casting Director: Amy XXXXX
Shoot/Start Date: May 30
Pay Rate: Min. $50/day
Location: Lexington, KY




There is nudity in this project.

Accepting local non-union talent only.

Late 20s to Early 30s, Gorgeous and sexy. No accents, please. Caucasian, Eurasian, Latina or Ethnically ambiguous. Mia's charismatic roommate and childhood best friend. Cathy is a devout Catholic who practices what she preaches. She is also completely repressed and in the closet. She can be a bit quirky and loves to arm wrestle. She's the perfect complement to Mia.

[ BILL ]
40s, George Clooney type. Caucasian. Carla's boss and owns Life Bio Tech. His vice is cigarettes and his overly active sex life—with his wife. When he has a cancer scare, his wife insists he quit smoking.

[ ASHA ]
Mid-late 20s, Classic beauty, partial nudity. Open ethnicity. Bill's beautiful trophy wife and co-worker at Life Bio Tech. She is totally devoted to Bill. She is straight-laced and proper, except for her outrageous sex life.

Early 30s, Lab technician, Nerdy hot. Open ethnicity. She's a hot lab geek who works for Life Bio Tech. Sweet with a great sense of humor.

Late 20s, Cheerleader hot. Caucasian. She's every man's fantasy woman. (two scenes)

[ BEN ]
Late 20s to 30s. Open ethnicity. Scott's friend and beer drinking buddy. (one scene)

STORY LINE: When lazy and gluttonous Scott loses his job, he spirals into despair, finding consolation in pizza, beer and the killer donuts from the bakery next door. When his home becomes a temple of apathy and dirty dishes, his beautiful and successful sister Mia hires a sex goddess and life coach from hell to turn his pathetic life around. But is the allure of everything he could ever want in a woman enough to get him off the couch?

Ok, this might be a cute premise... except I can't think about it too clearly without trying to imagine my brother... and now my brain has melted and I just died of extreme grossness overload.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

You Had Me At Lesbian Fetish Porn Stars.


Mood Tie Productions is casting "The Fetish Set," a provocative, feature-length film about four fetish/porn stars who are stalked by a serial killer. As the women gather at a yearly fetish convention in Vegas, and one bad decision leads to another, the girls find themselves drawn deeper into a darkness well beyond their rational limits. Producers state: "The film is racy and pushes the limits of a Rated-R film." Shane XXXXX, dir. Shooting early November in Las Vegas, Nevada and possibly South Texas.

Seeking—Reyna: female, 25-35, a strong, butch, Latina who still has feelings for Jo, her former lover, more the porn opportunist than porn star, the bull in the china shop, the bad influence, must be extremely secure in doing scenes with nudity (topless & implied full nudity), will be seen nude as she washes off the blood of a rapist she has just killed with her ex bisexual lover Jo, will also be seen partially nude for one scene tied up in the backseat of a car, and will be seen in underwear for a scene where a friend draws on her body; Angel: female, 20-25, the adorable blonde and Reyna's new found love, her innocent full eyes and pursed lips are reminiscent of a Disney sketch, awkward yet irresistible, a fresh new face to the industry, implied topless scenes but no nudity; Jo: female, 25-30, an adrenaline junkie who finds that elusive fix as a porn star, she's fit, smart, the alpha female, but underneath that armor of confidence dwells a vulnerability to the demons of her past, must be comfortable with nudity, for one topless nude scene as she bathes with her ex bisexual lover, and for simulated and implied sex scenes with her clients (topless only and in silhouette); Jack: male, 40-60, a serial rapist-murderer, trailer trash with delusions of grandeur, add a little 'bling', a love for opera, and the Marquis De Sade and in his mind he becomes simply irresistible, implied nudity, and possible brief rear nudity when he drops his pants and changes into a bathrobe in the desert, there is also a scene where he is dancing in the nude, which will be filmed in silhouette with special underwear.

Note: This film contains strong sexual and violent themes.

To apply, submit pix & resumes via XXXXX. For more info, visit XXXXX.com. Some pay, plus credit & meals provided.

The rest is just icing on the super sexy/psychotic cake. Yummers.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Art! Coming At You In 3 (Double?) D!

Non-Union Short Film
Editorial Short Film Project
Rate: $150 per day
Usage/Run: Web used and projected at live event in 3D to entertainment industry
Casting Director: XXXXX Casting
Shoot date: 2nd week June
Location: NYC


Sexy editorial style American Apparel vibe 3D Pillow fight.


Female / Principal / All Ethnicities / 18-32. This is a 3D fashion installation that we are producing for one event the end of June. Photo editors, art buyers etc will be there. Must be comfortable in undergarments having pillow fight. (And at audition) We may ask you to pillow fight with another model. You must be cool with either being in your underwear or some kind of under garment at casting. NOT Playboy Maxim or Stripper style. Think Terry Richardson or any American Apparel ad. No nudity is required. But sexy. The final shot will be a 3D pillow fight, girls will probably be in panties and a tee shirt. Or shorts and bras. Please, if you are not cool with this let us know. LIGHT MAKEUP hair not to styled look NATURAL Look real.

YES: Boys undies, Super short shorts, Fun stylish panties, Tiny Aime Tee shirts, Fun and sexy, loose tank tops. Rock and roll clothes.
NO: Stripper clothiers, Negligees, Garters, G stings etc.

We repeat: No stripper clothes - just your underwear. Just you, half-naked with your ladybits flouncing in 3D. We want this to be more subtle - like Dov Charney's reputation with American Apparel advertising - and not tacky like FHM or Maxim.


Monday, July 30, 2012

Classic NR/NP


The Production is casting A Day Away From It All, a short film about a young urban couple who take a day away from the city to enjoy nature, but a deranged man with a gun destroys their plans. Larry XXXXX, director. Shooting early August in Poconos, PA.

Seeking—Female: 18-30, should be able to act romantic with boyfriend and scared when man with gun appears, must be comfortable with on screen kissing and brief topless nudity.

To apply, submit pix & résumés via Back Stage. No pay, but credit provided.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Read My Lips: No Pay? No Way.

Parts modeling (all over)
Date: 2011-10-02, 7:57PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for females for parts modeling. It will be nude parts modeling of the female body parts, and body scapes. your face will not be photographed, unless you would like some for yourself. pay is negotiable, no experiance [sic] necessary.

*Location: all over
*it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
*Compensation: no pay

This is not just simply female nudes - this is "modeling of THE female body parts." Sure you don't want some for yourself?

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Makes Total Sense.

model / actress wanted (NYC)

Date: 2012-07-02, 11:37PM EDT

Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Sensual model/actress wanted for behind-the-scene video production. This is an academic industrial project that does involve Nudity so please be advised.

The project's pay scale is $3000 with a 3-day shooting schedule. Ideal candidate will have a background in glamour, bikini, figure or fitness modeling in conjunction with some acting abilities. (i.e. reading from a script, taking direction and executing precise blocking).

To apply for this project you must be a female age 18 to 36 and in great physical shape. This is a contract project with many installments in the series.

Also include your acting and modeling resume if you have one. Do not leave out any of the requested information. Only serious inquiries will receive a reply.


Email me with your photos, phone no & facebook or talent link
*Location: NYC
*it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
*Compensation: TBD

I like how this "sensual model/actress" "in great physical shape" "with some acting ability" is needed for "behind-the-scene" work, which - for some reason - involves Nudity (with a capital N). I have a feeling the "precise blocking" she will be executing will be very "hands-on."

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Sketchy Much?

It's been a while. I can offer excuses and apologies... but instead, I offer this:

Teen Talent Search (Greenwich Village)
Date: 2012-07-02, 10:38PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Great Pay !!! The Summer Is here and I am looking for Teen models to model for upcoming party events. I'm looking for photogenic female models, age 14 and up to be photographed.No experience necessary! Now that the weather is getting nice let's do an outdoor shoot in the park or around town. Actors, dancers, artists, musicians, circus performers, or models. Here is my party link: XXXXX.php

This is for party events and your photos do not have to show your face, but we do want to make sure that your photos are appealing.You get high res photos from the shoot, usually around 100 piC. I am willing to pay $200 for your time.Send me a picture if you are interested! And let me know when you are free. I will only reply to good matches. Thanks in advance and make sure that you let me know when you are available.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: paid

Circus Characters & Nudity. Who Could Ask For Anything More?

Casting for short film "Unfounded" (Union Square)
Date: 2011-06-01, 4:01PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Director: Maria XXXXX

This short film follows two strangers, a man and a woman, throughout their day once they become acquainted and get into a series of mishaps and adventures. The style will be fantastical realism, a Fellini-esque adventure. Absurdity, circus characters and fantastical elements all play a role.

Auditions will be Friday June 10th from 5pm - 9pm. Please email to set up an audition slot.

Shooting in NYC from June 28 - July 5, 2011

Pay food/copy/credit

Female Lead / 25-30 yrs. / Caucasian. Requires Nudity
The female lead role: Looking for someone in their mid-late twenties, early thirties, preferably brunette. Must be charming, charismatic and flirtatious not necessarily beautiful. The role is all about playing a game with the lead male character, convincing him to follow you throughout the day, a cat and mouse game. Improvisation skills are necessary. Brief but not explicit nudity is required.

Male Lead / 25-30 yrs. / Caucasian. Requires Nudity
The male lead role: Looking for someone in their mid-late twenties, early thirties, tall, preferably English, if not you must be able to mimic the dialect. Also charming and charismatic not necessarily handsome. The male lead character starts out as conflicted, then decides to follow a strange woman and ends up having a strange day. Brief but not explicit nudity is required.

Male / 31-40 yrs. / East European
Only headshot submission is necessary: Seeking- 10-15 tall, large, burly men are needed. 'Balkan' looking types, dark hair, dark eyes

Male / 25-30 yrs. / Any Ethnicity
Only headshot submission is necessary: Seeking- Three 'circus types'. Must be able to juggle, walk on stilts, mime... (please include resume and relevant experience)

Male / 31-40 yrs. / Asian
Only headshot submission is necessary: Seeking- Chinese male. Mid thirties or older.

*it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
*Compensation: no pay

Monday, May 07, 2012

Not For The Faint Of Heart


Juan XXXXX (director) is casting Unknown, a short film about the uncertainty between a girl and a boy that collide by chance (Ouch!) during their travels to an unknown futuristic world. To be shot on a Canon T2i (1080p, 24), and composited via after effects. Casting in Feb.; shooting near Tampa Bay and Hillsborough County, FL.

Seeking─Female: 18-22, Caucasian, blonde or brunette, young, independent, quirky, a flawed beauty behind her rough instinct, needs to be emotionally attached to something, brief topless nudity required for a simulated sex scene, probably shot from behind; Male: 18-22, Caucasian, blonde or brunette, shy, unsure of himself, hesitant, little is understood about this character but one can pick up his innocence quickly simply by his composure.

Note: Film may include the use of an empty pellet prop gun (Pellet AEG), kissing scene(s), rats (will not come in direct contact with actors), and will require actors to get wet and dirty.

To apply or for more info, email XXXXX.com. Possible low pay, plus meals provided.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Fun! Silly! SEXY!

It's a birthday make-over! NR, NP started sending out fun and silly (just like the ladies this casting notice is looking for!) ads 10 years ago. Can you believe it? We can't (we don't think we look a day over 6 years old). But we thought we deserved a little sprucing up, anyway. We hope you enjoy the new layout.


* * * * *

3-4 actresses needed for fun, sexy, campy comedy
Date: 2012-04-13, 9:45AM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for 3-4 actresses for speaking roles in my upcoming movie. The shoot will take place over two weekends in late April/May. It will be a fun campy comedy (like this guys makes http://XXXXX). Must be able to be sexy on camera, not perfect body sexy necessarily, more fun personality sexy. Send a headshot/full-body shot, screen tests will happen in about a week. No full nudity required, but must be comfortable topless in a fun/silly/sexy way. (I don't know what that means.)

There is no pay, but lots of fun, food, and an opportunity to hone your acting skills with someone who is serious about making good campy movies. Previous videos on YouTube have over 150,000 views, so you'll get seen.

* Location: Brooklyn
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Girls, Girls, Girls

Casting Call - "Karina" (Williamsburg)
Date: 2012-04-19, 2:58PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

A movie set in NYC that follows the lives of young teenagers as they enter summer in hopes of reckless fun

We are looking for actors and actresses that appear 16-19 in age
Nudity may be involved. (Oh let's not pretend you're not sure. Ladies - er, I mean young ladies - better get that bikini wax. Better yet, just focus on your school work instead, and stop noodling around on Craig's List. Ok?)

Send questions and headshots with resume if possible to XXXXX.com

* Location: Williamsburg
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Royalties (Oh, let's not pretend this damn thing is ever going to make it off your hard drive, either.)

* * * * * * *

Amateur Females for Alternative, Fun Gigs (Manhattan) (Fun!)
Date: 2012-04-19, 2:32PM EDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]

Work with a professionals in the industry who worked/works with pro companies and amateur ones alike. We are NOT an fly by night or anything like that. this is strictly dealing with the companies and the producers. no middle-man crap lol. (Did you just "lol"?) Is this something of interest to you? if interested please reply with some photos and a number and best time to reach you. must be ok with nudity

will give you more info when you reply. thanks and looking forward to working together.

Note: because of some fakes replies (robots) and scamers .. please repply to this e-mail at XXXXX(at) gmail-com subject line; ad cl position. (Yes, we hate 'scamers,' so be sure to 'repply' correctly.)

Adam (And this next bit was "hidden" text:) CPAN modules specify such third-party software. Therefore installing them may not be as easy as other CPAN modules because one must first find and manually install the prerequisites. The aim of Module::ThirdParty is to provide basic information to installer shells

* Location: Manhattan
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Monday, April 16, 2012

OMG, You Guys! This Coulda Been My Big Break.

I got this email a couple weeks ago:

From: notices@castingnetworks.com
Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 12:15am
To: [That Hot Bitch Gabby]

Congrats,you have been selected for TWO great opportunities.

1) You have been selected to audition for the comedic project entitled QUICKDRAW as you submitted your resume/headshot on Casting Networks,Inc. Quickdraw is a family comedy/drama about foster homes and the life story of several adults that reflect on their youth in foster homes. The audition will take place Saturday April 7th,2012 at Ripley Grier studios. You will be provided with a monologue to read. The time for your audition will be emailed to you once you respond to this message....

So, at first I was all like, "Great!" And then...

2) You are ALSO invited to attend a large and extremely popular networking event that the Producer will be hosting at a restaurant in Midtown,NYC in which local media will be in attendance. At this event will be two TMZ photographers as well as entertainment reporters from the news channel New York 1 and 3 public relations reps from production companies. There will also be 2 casting directors that are currently ca! sting for General Hospital in L.A. All of these guests will be available to meet and ready to answer any of your questions,take your resumes/headshots,etc. This is a great opportunity to meet these individuals just please be dressed in nice, professional, attire/clothing. There will also be music provided by several dj's and free drinks the first hour. This will be a great way to go out and network with successful film/tv individuals while still enjoying the night as well with many actors and actresses. (Because there is NO better way to meet people for professional purposes than in a loud bar after a cocktail or two - am I right?) This event will be going from 9pm-2am on Saturday,March 31st. We already have many actors and actresses on the guest list so if you will be attending this networking event please confirm by emailing XXXXX at XXXXX.com. This event will be at a bar/restaurant on 51st and 10th ave. You may bring guests. Complete information will be provided once you confirm that you will be attending. Once you do,you will be placed on a guest list. Once again, email me (XXXXX) at XXXXX.com to confirm. From- XXXXX (Assistant director)

And then I was all like, "Ugh. *eyeroll* No." So, this was my reply:

I'm happy to attend the audition on April 7. I have a matinee performance that day at 3, so I can come before 2 (I have a 2 o'clock call time in midtown), or after 5.

As for the "events," I find this all rather unorthodox. It's also a holiday weekend. So I won't be attending that. But like I said, I am happy to audition if this is for a legitimate project.

Thank you.

Guess what? I never heard back. Shocking.

Friday, April 06, 2012

I Got Friends In Strange Places

It's been too long! Gabby's been busy working as an actor. Can you believe it? Working. As an actor.

I know I promised I'd write more regularly. Oopsie! Maybe I should go into politics, instead?

On the upside - I was very happy to open an email from a bad-speller stranger today, addressing me as a "friend." She sure is one "hot" "friend" (who cares if she can't spell?)! How lucky am I?

Hello My Industry friends

I am really exicted [sic] for this Spring and Summer Projects and as promise I am staying in touch to let you know what on my calendar.

The Elite Image's Hottest Model Competition is around the coming register today if you can attend at WWW.AREYOUTHEHOTTESTMODEL.COM (Yes - the competition is around and coming! Register today!)

Also visit our talent partner Promise to Dream foundation at www.promisetodream.com for talent resources.

Call me at 347-XXX-XXXX or email me at XXXXX.com
Let’s stay in touch (Nah.)
Karen XXXXX- Elite Image International


Monday, January 23, 2012

The Bunny Hop

You know how it goes... one hope forward, two hops back (or something - no need to quibble over specifics). Gabby has been up to her eyeballs in work. Good work! She gets to keep her clothes on and act at the same time. It's been wonderful. But in the meantime she's been a little slow with the new ads. Please forgive.

Instead of something frighteningly awful, here's something frighteningly awesome! Help support live theater, people. You love it and it loves you.



Monday, January 02, 2012

Happy New Year!

Dearest Readers,

Gabby has been so very busy cookie baking, toy making, and cocktail shaking! Once again, this bloggy woggy has been neglected. So sorry!

For the new year I resolve to work hard to look for things that tickle our fancies... or that just make us roll our eyes in disgust. Looking forward to more naked delights in 2012!

Kiss kiss,