Friday, January 22, 2010

Largrie & Sprotwear??? My Head Hurts...

print modeling jobs for feb 200010 (newyorkcity.) (Casting now for the year 200,010 seems a little premature.)
Date: 2010-01-22, 12:12PM EST
Reply to: XXXXX.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

we are casting for upcommining photo print paying jobs in the city, all female models must be 57 to 59 dress 4 too 10 for leather weare dress largrie wear sprotwear evening gowns promdresses ext payment imed female and actresses can apply pay is made by the designer after the photo shooting is done please download a photo w stas age call back number for a newyork city casting call please emale XXXXX@aol.com we are not a modeling agency we are a photo production studio no fees all payment is in your hands no problem. (Beg pardon - but I strongly feel there IS a problem, here.)

* Location: newyorkcity.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: this is a paying print modeling jobs in feb 200010 spring wear

Are you f*cking kidding me? This person can't spell OR count. This seems almost unreal. Like it must be a joke. I can't decide what on earth could be the reason behind this abomination. What do you think?

  • English is not his first, second or even third language.
  • He's actually a 9 year old boy trying to lure women so he can hopefully get to touch his first boob.
  • He's drunk/high.
  • He doesn't speak English and is drunk/high on the prospect of boobs.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Thank You, Anonymous.

DAY 2
Feature Film
NON-UNION
NO PAY

Producer: Laura XXXXX
Director: Andrew XXXXX
Casting Director:Laura XXXXX
Interview: late January
Shoot/Start Date: February 15
Location: New York

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: 732-XXX-XXXX

THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT.

[ LAURA ]
Lead - Female, 20s - plagued by voices in her head, one of very few survivors of the apocalypse. She is hunted by the giant robots and must find a way to stop the invasion. Nudity, one back-lit love scene.

[ DR. MASCHWITZ ]
Female, 40s-60s - Laura's psychiatrist, secretly trying to protect Laura from the robots.

[ NEIL ]
Male, 30s-40s - a crazy drunk, former Special Forces op. Knows way more about the invasion than he should.

Thanks to Anonymous for tipping us off to this masterpiece where our heroine - poor, haunted, schitzo Laura - will probably be forced to make back-lit naked "love" to Neil the crazy drunk. It is very fortunate, however, that her psychiatrist is also one of the "very few survivors of the apocalypse". I mean - what are the odds?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I'm Not A Professional - But I Pretend I am One on Craigslist.

Looking for a unique cover girl (NY)
Date: 2010-01-11, 5:26PM EST
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for a model (female, 18-35) to be on a book cover. Make up/sfx involved (more details provided on request). Professional all the way. (Dude! That's awesome. Nothing sets me at ease more than when a professional tells me they are a pro "all the way". Now that is high-class.) Nudity is required but tasteful and sensitive areas will be covered (and contracted to be so) ("Sensitive" areas? "And contracted to be so"?) Shoot will only take a few hours. Environment will be comfortable with a small number of crew. Revenue share could be negotiated. ("Could" be negotiated??? Your "professionalism" train has definitely stopped short of the station, my friend.) Please send sample pics, preferably full body shots (nudity not required) and we'll be in touch. Portfolio copies supplied as well.

A little about the project:

The photo will be on the first of a series of four-five books. Will be available in national independent (possibly franchised) outlets and through all major online marketplaces. It will also be available via kindle, the world's fastest growing demographic of readers! Full credit will be printed within the book as well! (Oh my! And everyone always wants to know who posed for their book's cover art, right? Right??? That has launched many a star!) One thing we can promise is it will be a fun shoot and one you may never get the opportunity to do again.

If you have any other questions or concerns please feel free to contact us.

We're open to any ethnicity. If you've already applied we have your photos, thank you!

* Location: NY
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Possible Revenue Share

Who Writes This Crap?

top and heavy (What?)
Date: 2010-01-12, 7:29AM EST
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We are looking for models with 36D + size for monthly internet magazine pictorial. Model will pose with another female model. MUA will be provided. (That's usually how it goes... but now you have me worried about wardrobe... and who your grade school English teachers were...) 18+ sent current picture, with name age and size . All others will be deleted. Serious inquiries only. Experience not necessary. This is a paid GIG (As opposed to "a PAID gig"?)

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay