Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Everyone Loves A Nymphomaniac

Event Horizon
Red Shift Films
Desmond XXXXX, Producer

Production Description

Marcus is a nymphomaniac (of course he is!) who has stopped feeling any true enjoyment from sex. In fact the act has become more painful than pleasurable. However his addiction won't make him stop--like gravity it keeps pulling him in. On this night he encounters four women, each encounter taking him some place deeper (tee hee), darker and more depraved--seemingly drawing him into a Black Hole (oh god). Will he lose his soul, will he survive till dawn? (And do we care????)

"Event Horizon" is a Short film told primarily through music and images. The Male lead has already been cast. (Ok, I've got $50 on the writer/director/producer being the male lead... who's in?)  Seeking four talented, female model/actors to fill out the cast.

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations
Auditions will be held the week of October 7th in NYC.

Compensation & Union Contract Details
$200 per day

Seeking Talent Select a role below for more information and submission instructions.

Saphia: (Supporting) A recent college grad, beautiful and sexy; a little naive but also adventurous. She meets Marcus at a club and is drawn to him not knowing the dark night he's about to draw her into.

Nudity
Yes

Alexis: (Supporting) Alexis is beautiful, elegant and cultured. Her upright presentation belies her inner most sexual desires and demons (which are more... horizontal?).

Nudity
Yes

Maya: (Supporting) Like Marcus, Maya is an addict as well. She teaches elementary school in the day, and spends her nights in New York City''s seedy underground.

Nudity
Yes

Liza: (Supporting) Liza is as beautiful as she is dark. She believes death is the greatest climax and the only way to truly speak to God. She tries to convince Marcus to take that final journey with her.

Nudity
Yes

Seeking submissions from: New York City, NY

You know what? I want to write a movie. Lets pop a few quarters into the cliche-o-meter and see what we get:

A handsome but tormented man suffering from alcohol/drug/sex addiction finds some sort of emotional/spiritual/professional redemption by having sex with lots of beautiful/hot/nymphomaniac women and then suddenly we see him as human/sympathetic/flawed... and the women... well we never even learn their last names/professions/reasonable motivation for falling for the male lead. But we do get to see their nipples/ass/orgasm face. 

THE END

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Sounds Not-Fun

REALITY TV & DOCUMENTARY
NONUNION
PAID
Share:
COMPANY
Stuart XXXXX Casting
Stuart XXXXX, casting dir. CEO

PRODUCTION DESCRIPTION
Seeking females for a job on "Project R," a reality show. Casting director states: "This position requires that these females be exclusively devoted to their employer, however, this is not an escort position. They will not flirt or lead another person on or suggest or engage in any inappropriate behavior. They will be an extension of the employer's image. While utilizing gorgeous, talented, and smart females as part of his inner circle, the employer's image will ultimately be as it always has been and what it is: an honest, successful engaging person who everyone wants to do business with. These females do not define the employer in any way, rather they are a 'branding' tool. Applicants must possess personality and an ability to fit in with the other female employees and be part of the team, working together to enhance their employer's image as directed at all times. Additional responsibilities include hostessing dinner parties and charitable events, accompanying their employer in public at all times to dinners, events etc. College degrees and work experience in 'high end' social concierge areas are a plus. Seeking independent, well-spoken, trustworthy, and highly motivated females who want to develop their careers to the next level. Positive training in all key areas will be provided, as well as opportunities to expand and elevate themselves within other business areas, including merger & acquisition areas, global financing, deal making, independent film financing, and other areas of production."

What???

REHEARSAL AND PRODUCTION DATES & LOCATIONS
Shoot dates & location TBD.

COMPENSATION & UNION CONTRACT DETAILS
After passing a 90-day trial period, an official position will be offered which will exceed an average $150,000/yr., plus all living, travel and wardrobe expenses. They will travel with their employer on his personal jet, yachts, and various other modes of transportation. Wardrobe, hair, spa, nails, etc. will be provided.

WHAT? And you said there's no sex, right? Right???

SEEKING TALENT
Female: (Lead) to work with a very high-powered businessman and become part of his branding within the world of the wealthy and powerful, will work among a who’s who among many fields; seeking beautiful, hot, fit, classy, smart, high-end model types who love living life to the fullest, must enjoy travel, strong worth ethic, able to work full time (long days and weeks). Casting personnel state: "These females will be screened not only for their beauty, sexiness, class, social skills, etc.; they must also have qualifications to be a personal assistant." 

AUDITIONS
Seeking submissions nationwide/worldwide

AUDITION & SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS
Note: Talent must be able to provide their own transportation to audition in Los Angeles. Talent must be totally unattached (i.e. single, no boyfriends or kids). Talent must be willing to travel and live at employer's homes/mansions and be extremely reliable. ("We didn't hire you to be a 'person' with friends and family! We hired you to be a 'thing' - MY 'thing'!")

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Forget Strippers With Hearts Of Gold...

...these ladies have strong socio-political views:

[ BIG BREASTED STRIPPER ]

SEARCHING FOR WOMAN WITH D CUP OR BIGGER BREASTS. SHE IS A STRIPPER IN A CLUB IN QUEENS. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH TOPLESS NUDITY.  After her dance, she gives advice about sex to the "skinny girls"...1 speech, 1 scene  (29) (Ah yes, sex for skinny girls! So much different than sex for non-skinny girls... is it?)

[ NANDINI ]

SEARCHING FOR NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN. MID 20S TO 50S. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY. She is another member of the theatre company, and she talks to the group about women who are shamed for having their period...2 speeches, at least 1 scene  (81) (Are there women who are ashamed of having their periods? Do they mean 'ashamed' or 'annoyed'?)

[ AUDRE ]

SEARCHING FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN BUTCH / STUD LESBIAN ACTRESS. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY. She is another member of the theater company and she talks to the group about the injustice done to 4 young black lesbians who were convicted of gang assault and received long sentences in New York State prisons for defending themselves against street harassment...1 speech and at least 1 scene. (Preach! Now take your top off!)

I can't remember where this came from or why there is no payment information. Sorry! But I think it's safe to say that none of my readers would have wanted to apply...

Thursday, August 29, 2013

I See Where You're Going With This...

'Saber'

Casting notice expires: September 26, 2013
SHORT FILMS
UNION AND NONUNION
Henko Films LTD
Justin XXXXX, dir.

PRODUCTION DESCRIPTION
Casting "Saber." A struggling actress driven by family crisis manipulates into the audition of a lifetime--n audition that forces her into a face off with a charming director that goes to violent extremes to find a survivor for his film. (Yeeaaaahhhh... see... already, I'm like, "I think I see where you're going with this, and the answer is NO.")

REHEARSAL AND PRODUCTION DATES & LOCATIONS
Production dates runs Aug. 27-Sept. 27 (including online auditions).

SEEKING TALENT
Claire: (Lead) a force of nature, a rare breed who goes through life, unbreakable, but ignoring the important personal things (like slightly shady casting notices?), right now she finds herself at a crossroads, and her strange experience with Mike and Jay may help her decide what she really wants. (Again... I have to say, "I doubt that.") 

AUDITIONS
Seeking submissions from: Toronto, ON; New York, NY

AUDITION & SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS
Submit a video audition of yourself performing the sides; selected candidates will be contacted with callback information.

SIDES(Editing a little here...)

SABERSIDES-CLAIRE
INT. STIENBERG PRIVATE THEATER INSTITUTE- STAGE
An old-fashioned stage complete with dusty floor boards and
red velvet curtains. Right at this moment, however, the
entire theater is shrouded in darkness.
A harsh 300 watt stage light SNAPS ON revealing: Claire,
standing behind a solitary table on it: her portfolio and
Mike’s white mystery box from earlier.
Shes wearing a bright silver sci-fi suit. She adjusts the
awkward-fitting HELMET and BOOTS.

...She takes a moment to compose herself, then she goes right
into it, giving her delivery all the conviction of Richard
Burton’s Hamlet.

(Ok... serious face... serious face, people. Now, I don't want to give it all away, so here is just a delicious soupçon with a photo I added just because sometimes a visual helps:)

...My men weren’t witness to
three hundred rounds of uranium
taring through an orphanage...
...tonight, I’m
shoving the regulations so far up
inside your cute little twat your
wife won’t be able to tell who she
tasting when she’s kissing you
goodnight.


Oh, god, that is perfection. I need a cigarette...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

From the desk of Gabby
Darlingest friends, 

A reader alerted me to this story that broke a while ago - but since gabby has never been into the world of Fantasy (other than her recurring James Franco dream), it wasn't on her radar. But after hearing it, I thought I would share.

It seems a lovely Irish lass was hired for a featured role on the hit series, "Game of Thrones." She was excited - the project paid quite well and was very popular - but when she arrived... well... she was not aware that the show has a reputation for relying on more just just their actors' talent to draw voyeurs, er, viewers in, and that her role was more set undressing than set dressing - so she walked.  You can read the article here.

I think the only real moral of this story is, like she says: "It was my own fault really because I didn’t research the show properly." I can sort of see that. And yet - what if it was a brand-new show or a pilot? Sometimes all we have to go on is what our agents tell us, and don't blame her for walking when she arrived to see the role was not as-described. But, then again, I also would not have blamed her had she stayed. I just wish we didn't seem to be headed back down the late 70's-late 80's There-Is-Nudity-In-Everything wormhole. Actors have a JOB to do. What other legal jobs (besides artist's model) expect the employees to drop trou on a regular basis? And Gabby isn't the only one who's getting a wee bit annoyed. Even one of the show's own has said:

“One of the girls in the show who got her kit off the most in the first couple of seasons now doesn’t at all because she said, ‘I want to be known for my acting not for my breasts.” (You can read that article here.)

It's always a matter of each person's taste, but a good rule of thumb it so, at least, always get paid when people ask to see the goods - especially on camera. Because those images will be around for a long, long time. For better or for worse.


Yours most sincerely,
Gabs

Monday, July 08, 2013

"I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar... After You Watch Me Get Naked, Okay?"

SPLIT (Three Roles -- NY Actors Access)
Feature Film
SAG-AFTRA (SAG terms)
Draft: 11/16/12
Executive Producer: Elizabeth XXXXX
Producers: Jen XXXXX, Troy XXXXX
Director / Writer: Deborah XXXXX
Casting Director: Sig XXXXX / Stephen XXXXX
Start Date: July 13
Location: New York City

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY

INANNA (Amy XXXXX)
ANJA (Anna XXXXX)
SHELLEY (Antonia XXXXX)
ATHENA (Joan XXXXX)

THE FOLLOWING ROLES PAY SAG MODIFIED LOW BUDGET SCALE + 10% AND MUST BE NY LOCAL HIRE.

STILL SEARCHING FOR:

[ BIG BREASTED STRIPPER ]

SEARCHING FOR WOMAN WITH D CUP OR BIGGER BREASTS. SHE IS A STRIPPER IN A CLUB IN QUEENS. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH TOPLESS NUDITY.  After her dance, she gives advice about sex to the "skinny girls"...1 speech, 1 scene  (29) 

[ NANDINI ]

SEARCHING FOR NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN. MID 20S TO 50S. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY. She is another member of the theatre company, and she talks to the group about women who are shamed for having their period...2 speeches, at least 1 scene  (81)

[ AUDRE ]

SEARCHING FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN BUTCH / STUD LESBIAN ACTRESS. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY. She is another member of the theater company and she talks to the group about the injustice done to 4 young black lesbians who were convicted of gang assault and received long sentences in New York State prisons for defending themselves against street harassment...1 speech and at least 1 scene.

STORY LINE: INANNA is an aspiring actress who works as a stripper to pay the bills.  Infatuated with DEREK, a successful theatrical mask designer (Oh, that old chestnut?), Inanna is delighted when Derek falls in love with her and insists they marry.  After leaving her job (Because successful theatrical mask makers are like, so in demand and make tons of money, of course) and accepting the lead role in a theatrical re-telling of the Sumerian legend of Inanna's Descent Into The Underworld (Natch), she realizes that the play is commenting on and affecting her failing marriage, and her marriage is commenting on and affecting her performance...

Oh! The age old Life-Imitates-Art-Imitates-Life scenario! Actress-falls-for-mask-designer-and-her-upcoming-role-separates-them-and-is-also-at-the-same-time-a-commentary-on-work-separating-their-life! I need a tissue just thinking about it! I just... can't... So I won't. 

That was easy. 

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Keeeeeepeeerrrs... Come Out To Plaaaaaaaaayyyy...

'The Keepers'

Casting notice expires: July 24, 2013 (Not soon enough)
SCRIPTED TV & VIDEO
UNION AND NONUNION
PAID
Share: (I think this means the pay is a percentage of profits? Oh... so optimistic...)
COMPANY
GSpot Productions (Of course)
David XXXXX, dir.-prod.
PRODUCTION DESCRIPTION
Casting "The Keepers," a Non-Union spec TV pilot from independent producer. Project description: "A post apocalyptic ring of gangs gear up for all out war and intense battle just before they discover the secret to their survival." 

REHEARSAL AND PRODUCTION DATES & LOCATIONS TBA

SEEKING TALENT Select a role below for more information and submission instructions.
Nobbie ( Lead): Female, 18-35, All Ethnicities, the beautiful and powerful leader of The Keepers.

Fix ( Supporting): Male, 18-48, All Ethnicities, the fearless and powerful leader of the "Punks" gang, strong physical appearance similar to Brandon Lee in "The Crow".

Worm ( Supporting): Female, 14-18, Caucasian, Hispanic, Ethnically Ambiguous / Mixed Race, the young teenage daughter of Wheelie. SShe's smarter, tougher, and more gifted than anyone realizes. She sees everything and knows a lot more. She desperately wants the war to stop and will try anything to keep Wheelie safe. She's no fool and you better not turn your back on her. Darker colors of hair preferred. The actress for this role also narrates the story. She needs to have some insight and lead ability. Her voice needs to be youthful yet stern and mature at the same time. She's young and pretty, but with a sense of responsibility.

Spoke ( Supporting): Male, 18-38, Caucasian, Hispanic, Ethnically Ambiguous / Mixed Race, looks up to his older brother, Wheelie. He would die before he let his brother or his family down. He grew up by Wheelie's side and inside the safety and protection of the Rollers. He's as hard as stone, but has his heart in the right place. He loves Nobbie and will stop at nothing to protect her.

Scrape ( Supporting): Male, 18-48, All Ethnicities, just like he sounds: smelly, sneaky, backstabbing, murderous, and criminal. He's tough and intimidating. If he can get his hands on Nobbie, he can weasel his way up to leader of the Punks.

Space ( Supporting): Male, 18-64, All Ethnicities, the close counterpart of Toast and may be his lover. Together, they often find themselves in the wrong place at the right time. Space dropped out of high school early and has bad hygiene. He has a good nose and is good at finding valuable items for trade. He forgets things a lot and often forgets where he's going. He's thin and frail and hides from trouble whenever he can.

Toast ( Supporting): Male, 18-64, All Ethnicities, the close counter-part of "Space" and may possibly be his lover. Space and Toast always seem to be in the wrong place at the right time. They are inseparable and do everything together, including getting hurt together. Fumbling, accident prone, mocking, clumsy. Should be short and over weight. Similar to Twigg and Koeler in "Pirates of the Caribbean."

AUDITIONS
Seeking submissions from: San Francisco, CA

SCRIPT EXCERPT (This is my favorite part!)

BACK TO PRIOR SCENE
WHEELIE looks… his will together with his strength collapses. NOBBIE looks about her. She screams. The two spin around trying to back away, but it’s no use. They are surrounded by 7 Punks gang members. Spoke laughs in bitterness and pity.

CU
“Scrape, you have a lot of balls showing up he…" Before he can finish, SCRAPE interjects his opinion up close in Spokes face. “Yea, well your shit for brains brother ain’t here, prince. So, what are you gonna do, huh … cry for help?”

SCRAPE looks around for approval. The rest of the Punks look at each other and smile devilishly.

CU
NOBBIE tries to be tough, but her fear forces tears into her words. “You better not touch me, Scrape! Wheelie warned you not to touch us or…" "Or what my little glamour puss!?” SCRAPE exclaims. “If you haven’t noticed, Wheelie in the sky is failing to keep the peace! Soon, Stone and the Mayor will have nothing to hide behind, and you my little plum cake… will be all MINE.”

MEDIUM SHOT
NOBBIE shrieks then looks at Scrape in hatred and disgust. Scrape motions and the Punks grab the two lovers. “Which one should we rape first, Scrape?” Laughter surrounds them, but then suddenly SPOKE makes a quick move. He lets out a breath, lunges forward escaping the hold, and smashes Scrapes big toe with the foot of his heel. Scrape screams in agony. Then in slow motion, Spoke spins around and elbows Scrape sharply in the nose… killing him instantly. The sound of his nose penetrating his skull travels to the ears and the gaping open wide mouths of the Punks as they watch their powerful Captain humiliatingly die before their eyes. Then, Scrape and his lifeless body free fall to his knees and then to the ground...

Pure gold.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

An American Horror Story

Need writers of screenplays
Feature Horror
Posted: 06/20/13
Location: TREASURE VALLEY- BOISE ID 

Deferred Pay: [Willing to share the proceeds with the screenwriter.]   
This post will expire: 12/31/13
Submit To This Gig
Share
 

Hello- we have written a horror and other-worldy book. It would translate wonderfully into a movie and we are in need of a writer that can write a screenplay to present to producers in Hollywood. We have several producers lined up but need the screenplay to proceed. We would be willing to share the proceeds with the screenwriter. Please email if you are interested.

Oh how kind! You will graciously allow someone to spend their days and nights deeply immersed in your Great American Paranormal Horror Opus, in order to turn it into a sellable screenplay for your own gain, and are still willing to share in the proceeds? Salt of the earth, you are. 

This gives me an idea for a horror story: A talented-yet-struggling creative artists puts her/himself through school and upon graduation into the 'real world' is faced with only poorly-paying or non-paying opportunities to spin crap into gold.

Good luck. And may I kindly suggest FinalDraft, your own elbow grease, and simply googling the phrase "How to write a screenplay"?

(Special thanks to an eagle-eyed reader and talented writer, Jessica Rotondi for sharing this ray of sunshine. Cheers!)

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Monday, June 03, 2013

All-Female Film Seeks Spell Check

Lead Ingenue Actresses & character actresses for film

Seeking lead actresses and chatacter actresses for an independent short film.
All ages, all ethnic groups. Formal acting training a PLUS but not mandatory!!

Please send pics, resume & contact info.

Film is designed to be submitted to the film festival circuit. this film is being shot with the potential to it turn into a full length theatrical film.

No pay but food, copy & credit plus tickets to the premierre. Not a demanding film schedule, shooting on weekends & evenings.
 
 
* It's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests 
* Compensation: no pay

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Seeking Douchy 'Bro-Type' With Duckface

 Douchey Bro type needed (Chicago)


Need an actor for a fake Axe body spray type commercial that will be apart of a short film. It's non-paid but will be filmed on a beach, so that's cool right? (Dude!) Only a couple of hours next Sunday around magic hour. (Magic hour? What is that? Is this 'bro code' for... WHAT THE HELL IS MAGIC HOUR??? It's not in the Urban Dictionary.) Meals and reels.

Male
20's
duckface


* Location: Chicago
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

I think this is my new favorite ad (their photo - not mine). Pucker up!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Just Your Typical Music, Radio, TV & Erotic Entertainment Producer Opportunity

Producer-Filmmaker Seeking Female Entrepreneur Partner (NYC/LI/NNJ)

INTELLIGENT FEMALE REPLIES ONLY.......READ THIS CAREFULLY BEFORE RESPONDING~!!!!!

Filmmaker/Producer in both Film & Music industries looking for woman to be partner in a VERY lucrative enterprise in NYC/NNJ areas ONLY. My former partner moved out of country for health reasons. (Oh boy...)

I am one of the EXTREMELY rare producers who can deliver high-end content for both the video/film & music industries. (So says you.)

In VIDEO/FILM: I have shot/edited PRO music videos, feature legit films/docs & erotic films. (And... there it is.)

In MUSIC: I have many years experience producing mostly female music talent with TOP major label contacts, as well as producing soundtracks for docs & pro Erotic films. I am also a professional working musician/FM radio DJ.

YOU HAVE: Either access to female talent (for modeling, singing, acting, hosting, web cam, etc.), or you have an Erotic website business (videos, webcam, etc....)

SERIOUS RESPONSES ONLY BY FEMALE RECORDING STUDIO/MEDIA FACILITY OWNERS OR ENTREPRENEURIAL FEMALES IN THE EROTIC/MUSIC INDUSTRY

* Location: NYC/LI/NNJ
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Adult & Music Industry as well as Major Cable company High End contacts 

And you're only looking for females because...?

Monday, May 06, 2013

Educating Boys On The Three S's: Sloth, Steaks & Sexism.

WE MADE IT (Fat Boy Swag)
Music Video
SAG-AFTRA (New Media Agreement)
No Pay / Deferred as per agreement       

Artist: Shawn XXXXX
Production Co.: Smith Hage Productions
Casting Director: Ashley XXXXX
Interview Dates: 5/1/13
Callback Dates: 5/2/13
Shoot/Start Date: 5/4/13
Location: Brooklyn NY

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY       

IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH SUBMISSION.

Seeking:

[ CHUBBY KID ]
11-14 – He is the star of this video. Must be able to work confidently while exposing his stomach.

[ 2 RIDICULOUSLY HOT WOMEN ]
These are the other two main characters that serve as the heart and soul of this video. We are looking for two women that are RIDICULOUSLY HOT! (Must be able to work comfortably while exposing...most everything?)

BRIEF SYNOPSIS: A chubby kid sits in an apartment by himself. He’s dressed in super trendy clothing, with a ps3 joystick clenched in his hand. American junk food clutters the coffee table around him.  Two RIDICULOUSLY HOT VOLUPTUOUS women scantily dressed walk into the room. One has a pizza box the other has a milk shake. They come to each side of him and feed him the food. The kid has a look of “I’m the MAN” on his face. The kid shoos them off, they return with more junk food as the kid snaps his fingers and calls the shots.  After analyzing his body in the mirror, he decides to workout. He runs up stairs for exercise. The more he works out the more confident he feels. There is never any change in his body – he’s proud of his body. After all, he seems to be doing better than most in the lady department… We continue to cut back and forth from the workout session to him hanging out on the couch.  We exit this charade with the kid hanging out on a Brooklyn corner, the two girls on both sides of him, shaking their butts and dancing really over the top. He’s chilling like a pimp, bobbing his head. He’s swagged out - This is FAT BOY SWAG!

A). That is not a brief synopsis.
B). How young is this 'kid' that is being flanked by RIDICULOUSLY HOT BABES that he gets to order around? 
C). This video would never be considered if the roles were reversed.

Monday, April 29, 2013

"Topless Supporting" Is My New Favorite Phrase

Two topless women (Supporting parts) (Manhattan, Brooklyn)


Conceptual Music Video speaking about Passion, Death and parenthood. (?)
Female, ages 18-40, All Ethnicities
Two topless women: (Supporting) This two women will be topless in the backgroung and from profile. We will see their breast (just one?) from far away.
We will shoot it in a studio on the 6 of May in Manhattan. Shoot on film 16mm.
  • Location: Manhattan, Brooklyn
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: 50$

File This Under: Generally Confusing

Aflac is Hiring! Dance to Success (queens)


AFLAC IS A NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE COMPANY AND ONE OF THE MOST ADMIRED COMPANIES IN AMERICA. WE ARE HIRING FOR SALES ASSOCIATES AND WILL GET YOU GOING. PLEASE REPLY IN CONFIDENCE AND SUBMIT RESUME.
  • Location: queens
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay
Dancing sales associates? For no pay? Weird.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Sexy Women = Death. Duh.

FLESH FOR THE BEAST "TSUKIKO'S CURSE" (Female roles)
Web Series
Non-Union
Pay Rate: $100
Production Co.: Fever Dreams
Director/Producers: Carl XXXXX, John XXXXX
Audition: date TBA
Casting Director: Brandon XXXXX
Shoot/Start Date: Mid April
Location: NY/NJ

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY ASAP! TEL: 908 XXX XXXX

PHONE NUMBER INCLUDED FOR QUESTIONS ABOUT NUDITY ONLY.

NOTE: IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH SUBMISSION.

There is nudity in this project.  Nudity is NOT required at auditions.  It will be discussed for any callbacks.

Dressing rooms and robes will be provided on set.  Series contains erotic scenes in a horror/occult nature - black magic rituals, erotic vampire scenes, etc. in the style of TRUE BLOOD and AMERICAN HORROR STORY.

Based on the best selling feature film. A six part series for the web and other online services. From the producers of the Hulu series "Shinobi Girl".

Seeking:

[ COUNTESS FREUDSTEIN ]
(female, 30s-40s) elegant, beautiful aristocratic woman who’s looks hide her true age! NUDITY REQUIRED

[ TWO VAMPIRE GIRLS ]
INGRID & MAGDELENA (female, 20s)
Two super sexy stripper vampires who lure young men to cemeteries and drain them of their blood. They serve a Countess who bathes in blood to retain her youth and immortality. NUDITY REQUIRED.

STORY: Years ago, a team of paranormal researchers went to investigate a supposedly haunted house. None were ever seen again. Now, a new team lead by a powerful psychic, is returning to the scene and they're taking every precaution possible, to ensure they won't suffer the same fate.

Is it really 'suffering' if your captors are hot strippers?

But seriously, when I think of scary hot ladies... I think of this. And this. And definitely this. *shiver*

Monday, April 15, 2013

Sounds Like It.

"A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW" is dark humor, horror, and suspenseful film directed by Cyril XXXXX
Project Type: Webisode/Webseries
Union Status: Non-Union
Pay Scale: No pay. Food, transportation and reel provided.
Shoot Date: 05/01/13


Synopsis
A female gynecologist discovers a top secret drug can which resolve fertility issues while also increasing sex drive. She recommends the drug for the husband of her patient who seems to have a low sex drive. As usage of the drug begins to change his life he also starts experiencing side effects like memory loss. Meanwhile he suddenly has an enormous sexual appetite. Requesting Submissions From New Jersey, New York, Puerto Rico


HOOKERS / Non-Union / "Supporting" / Supporting / Female / All Ethnicities / 20-30
Seeking 3 hookers. Sexy body/dressed has hookers. Eddie (the husband) will wake up next to the 3 dead hookers, a lot of coke on the table. He wont have any memories of what happened the night before. This role involves partial nudity being dressed as a hooker in underwear. Please apply only if you are comfortable with the role.
Wardrobe: dressed as hookers (duh)
Rate: no pay , transportation, food , reel provided
   
STUDENTS / Non-Union / "Supporting" / Supporting / Male or Female / All Ethnicities / 18-20
Seeking talent to portray male and female students. Females need to be looking young and sexy. This is because of the drug Eddie is taking he will be focus on the attractiveness of the young female students. (Riiiiiiight.... blame it on the drugs, Eddie.)
Wardrobe: young student type of look
Rate: transportation , food , reel provided
 

LINDZY THE WIFE / Non-Union / "Leading" / Principal / Female / Caucasian / 30-40
Lindzy is a very attractive woman. Many men desire her but she is faithful to her husband. She is really frustrated that her husband has a low sex drive, she feels miserable and really wants to improve that aspect of her life. This role involves partial nudity. Underwear and a bathing suit.
Wardrobe: sexy classy (Like, you know - underwear and a bathing suit.)
Rate: No pay. Food, transportation and reel provided.
Sexual Situations: . This role involves partial nudity. Underwear and a bathing suit. Sexual situations making love to her husband
 

 EDDIE THE HUSBAND / Non-Union / "Leading" / Principal / Male / Caucasian / 30-40
Eddie is a good looking man. He would do anything to make his wife happy. He is a teacher. He is really frustrated about his fertility issue since he really wants to have a kid. A Bradley Cooper type of look would be perfect.
Wardrobe: white collar type of guy
Rate: no pay
Nudity/Sexual Situations: As far as the nudity Eddie will appear in underwear Sexual Situations love scenes with his wife, he will also wake next to 3 dead hookers


For what it's worth, I thought this female gynecologist discovered a drug for women, not men. But I guess it's for men? Whatever. Let's not get bogged down in specifics. What matters here is the completely original plot: A man on fertility drugs becomes sex-crazed and kills three prostitutes. (So... take that, Rush Limbaugh? Being a drugged-up 'slut' isn't just for chicks anymore.)

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

And Then There's This

$100 to best chewbacca impression (Seattle)


I've been wanting to do this for a while and now that I have some extra cash, here it goes. Call my number below, give me your best chewbacca impression, say your name and give a phone number I can call you back at. Leave a message if I don't answer.

I'll contact the winner for mailing options

503 XXX-XXXX

Good luck!

Shane

If the posting's still up, the contest is still on!

  • Location: Seattle
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: $100 to winner
Yes, good luck.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Knowledge Is Power

Here at Nudity Required, No Pay, we have seen a lot of casting calls that just don't pass the smell test. But a reader of the column, Savage Love, by Dan Savage, wrote in with his own experience in a little fetish film casting bait-and-switch.  

His situation (which you can read here), was basically this: he arrived for an audition for a low-paying film project that turned out to be a homosexual foot fetish film. Now, while there was no actual or implied sex or nudity involved, there was some physical contact - including foot licking.

So... what to do? What to do? How do you protect yourself, as an actor, from wasting your time with submitting and preparing for an audition for something that, had you known, you never would considered to begin with? 

Well, I think you need to listen to your gut, first and foremost. There are hundreds of sketchy things on this site that serve as a good example. And if something only seems faintly shady - ask questions.

But mostly, I think a lot of this responsibility rests on the shoulders of the casting director/writer/producers. Are you listening, director/writer/producers??? If you have ever wondered how much should you tell an actor about your piece, allow me to help.

I think we can all agree the medium is good to know: is this a feature-length or short film, or a play?
And so is the genre: Is this a comedy or a drama?
The when and the where's are good, too.
So are the character descriptions (within reason).
And, of course, pay rate.

Beyond that... use your discretion. Do we care if the the lead character's inner monologue is "It's the touch of my hands that sooth him. It's the taste of my lips that quench him. It's breathing my essence that thaws his heart"? No. No we do not. We find that crap hilarious, but no, not helpful.

But we do care if there are sexual relations with animals (real or stuffed), and we do care if we have to do our own stunts (especially if we have to do them naked), and we definitely DEFINITELY care if what you are making is, actually, for sexual purposes instead of artistic purposes. 

So, do us a favor: don't waste our time, and we won't be wasting yours. Because remember:




Capice?

Monday, March 18, 2013

Put 'Saved' Under Your 'Special Skills'

Casting Call



Calling ALL actors and actresses!!
Only requirement: must must must be saved!!! (Then that is not "all" actors. See definition of "all.")

If you do it for God and not for fame I'm looking for you! (Ok, now please define "it"?)
 
Auditions will be held soon for a play premiering in the summer!

Email me if you are interested!

**Please include your name, age and a head shot photo**

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay
Gabby will admit that, back in the day, she enjoyed a good musical for Jesus (and could sing you this song by heart):



But it's hard to keep that up as a thespian after years of cast parties, post rehearsal/performance pub visits, co-ed dressing rooms, and group massages.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Getting Your Foot Through The Door

Amateur Actress Wanted

Doing an amateur/independent project and need a girl (Over 21!) (So, that would be an adult female, also known as a "woman") that can kick in a few locked bedroom doors. The backdrop for this part of the shoot is that you are searching your boyfriend at his ex girlfriend's apartment. You will encounter 4 locked bedroom doors--the locks are standard locks you'd find on any basic bedroom/bathroom door--very basic (cheap) locks on a hollow door like you'd find in any apartment. It will be easier than you think to kick them in.

Will likely need an hour or so of your time.

No acting experience necessary (but if you have kicked in a locked door before, give details), just good looks and strong legs that can kick in a locked door. If interested, please reply with any questions AND a full length candid photo--fully/casually dressed--but with your shoes off--standing by a doorway to get an idea of your height/size relative to a door. You can also take a still photo of you pretending to kick in a door (again with your shoes off )--again, this is to gauge your height relative to the door. There is a certain "look" that we want to have for whoever we cast.

DO NOT SEND EXPLICIT PHOTOS. Any inappropriate responses or responses without photo will be deleted.

Thanks for looking!

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: TBD 

I wonder if they've given any thought to what happens if they need a re-shoot? How long it will take to fix a door jamb and a lock? Or injuries? Any thought given to what happens if she hurts herself?

My money is on that they didn't.

Monday, March 04, 2013

No Pay Still Goes A Long Way

WHERE THE BEARS ARE: SEASON 2

Web Series
SAG-AFTRA New Media Contract
Producers: Ben XXXXX, Rick XXXXX and Joe XXXXX
Director: Joe Dietl XXXXX
Casting Director: Craig XXXXX

Interview Dates: Thurs. 1/24 or Fri. 1/25
Callback Dates: TBD
Shoot/Start Date: Sat. 2/2
Pay Rate: Copy and meals provided
Location: Los Angeles

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY

IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ACTOR'S ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH EACH ACTOR SUBMISSION.

There is nudity in this project.

[ MARCUS ]

30’s to 40’s, African American Bear, Hot, Muscles. A beer belly would be great, but not mandatory. Body and facial hair are a plus. He is a Detective. Confident and authoritative. Must be comfortable with performing gay sex scenes (simulated) gay romance scenes, rear nudity, and acting in underwear. [LEAD]

[ IVAN ]

40’s, Big Muscle Bear. Any ethnicity. He’s a Hollywood casting director. Intelligent, sarcastic, and kind of a jerk. He’s also a bit unhinged. Must be comfortable with performing gay sex scenes (simulated) gay romance scenes, rear nudity, and acting in underwear. [LEAD]

[ MO MUSTAFA ]

30’s to 40’s, Middle Eastern, Smarmy, Wry, Bitchy and Cold. He is a ruthless campaign manager for a political candidate. [LEAD]

[ JEREMY ]

40’s, Any ethnicity. EXTREMELY handsome, sweet, loveable and sexy bear. Beautiful smile and eyes. A beer belly would be great, but not mandatory. Facial and body hair are a plus. He is an honorable guy…kind, calm, stable and confident. [LEAD]

[ DANNY KIM ]

30’s to 40’s, Hot Asian bear, running for City Council. A typical politician, ambitious, authoritative and conniving. Facial hair a plus. [LEAD]

[ TURBO ]

20’s to 30’s, Muscle trainer at the gym. All ethnicities. [SUPPORTING]

[ VINNIE ]

20’s to 30’s, Hot Muscled Rugby Player. All ethnicities. [SUPPORTING]

WHERE THE BEARS ARE is a comedy mystery web series that follows three gay, bear roommates sharing a house in Silverlake, who stumble on to a murder mystery. It’s the “Golden Girls” meets “Murder She Wrote” with big gay hairy men.

Season 1 of the web series has had over 3 Million views and has won several awards for best web series. The show has also garnered a great deal of press, including Huffington Post, Out Magazine, and The Advocate.

You can view the series at XXXXX.

Season 2 will be filmed mainly over weekends in February and March. All actors should have facial hair or be willing to grow facial hair. Actors should be comfortable playing gay characters, showing affection with men and be comfortable shirtless.

Sounds like the series is going well. I just hope it goes well enough so they can pay their bears, and not just feed them.