Monday, February 25, 2008

Clearly Not Written By A Woman

Student Film, Non-Union
Union Status: Non-Union
Rate no pay: credit and copy provided as well as snacks and transport
Submissions Due By 3/3/2008
Shoot/Performance Dates: weekend of 3/1/08 (flexible as to exact day/time)

A woman shaves her head in a bathtub then burns it.

Project Notes
I am looking for any woman who is willing to shave their head for this project. It is a short, student film for NYU. The shoot will be no more than 4 hours. The crew is small and it will be fun, creative, and laid back.

WOMAN / Non-Union / Lead / Female / All Ethnicities / All Ages / Nudity
A woman shaves her head in a bathtub, which begins to overflow in the tub. She steps out when done, pours alcohol over it, and leaves. The hair then is lit on fire. Partial or full nudity might be involved but can be worked around if actress is not comfortable.

Rate: no pay, credit and copy provided as well as snacks and transport

I wish you luck in finding a woman willing to be naked and to shave her head for free while you and six of your friends watch. I have no doubt that people have no trouble finding women willing to bare a little for free - but to shave their heads for free??? None of you have girlfriends, do you?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Ugly And Unable To Draw

Type: Print
CastingClient: Trident
Shoot Date: Thursday February 21, 2008?
Rate/Usage: One year unlimitied print use in allmedia USA. -$1,000.00 total $1,200.00. Model usage for second year option. $750.00 ea.
Submit: email submissions to:

Man: Ugly, International Latin Looking 30-35 year old Has character - UGLY... maybe cross-eyed, dark hair, interesting ugly but still lovable, not cartoonist. (I know they mean cartoonISH, but I think it'd be hysterical if they actually were barring cartoonists from auditioning.) Ugly in a way, but still endearing. The client has really stressed the UGLY part of the equation.

Yes. Yes, the client has.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

What On Earth...?

Untitled Television Studio Project
Television, Non-Union
Union Status: Non-Union
Rate: No Pay

Submissions Due By 2/5/2008

A young couple, one male and one female, both 20-30, discuss their possible future together on a lazy Sunday morning. Roughly a three minute scene to be shot live during a one hour shoot on Wednesday, Feb 6th. Live, three-camera set up in a large indoor soundstage. No auditions, casting is immediate! Thanks!

AMANDA / Non-Union / Featured / Female / All Ethnicities / 20-30 / Sexual Situations
Rate: No Pay

PAUL / Non-Union / Featured / Male / All Ethnicities / 20-30 / Sexual Situations
Rate: No Pay

No casting process. You're live on a soundstage being recorded by three cameras. There are "sexual situations" with the other actor who you never even got to meet during the audition process because there is none. And no pay. I am thoroughly perplexed... Whatever could this be???

No, wait. I really don't want to know. I still have a shred of innocence left, and I prefer to keep it that way.

Friday, February 01, 2008

I Lead, You Lead, Co-Lead - We're ALL Leads!


Park Palace Productions is casting Where Happiness Lies, a feature-length film with intertwining storylines about addiction and acceptance. Matthew XXXXX, dir. Shooting begins Spring 2008 in NYC.

Seeking—Diana: 18-25, Caucasian, a prostitute, thin, attractive, a touch of goth, painful eyes, strong silence, cuts herself, partial nudity, CO-LEAD; Barbera: 25-30, African-American, heavy-set, attractive, fun-loving, confident, prostitute, partial nudity, CO-LEAD; Micah: 25-35, Caucasian, heavy-set, businesswoman, overeater, signs of burn out, a madam, CO-LEAD; Tres: 18, African-American, heavy-set, able to ride a bike, aspiring rapper paying dues as a drug runner, CO-LEAD; Ritz: 18, Caucasian, able to ride a bike, aspiring gangster, all business, drug runner, CO-LEAD; Nicky: 20s, Caucasian, thin, attractive, going through a break-up, aspiring actress, CO-LEAD.

Auditions will be held by appt. only Feb. 16, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. in NYC. To schedule an appt., email pix & résumés to Indicate what time works best for you. Deferred or no pay, but copy, credit, and meals provided.

I guess since everyone is a "co-lead" then it's an "ensemble piece"? Well, except for the poor lass with the painful eyes - she must be hard to look at (or maybe that's why she cuts herself - to distract herself from the pain her eyes are already inflicting?) - and "Barbera", the other chick who gets naked. Poor things have to take their tops off and don't even get listed as co-leads. So unfair.