Friday, March 23, 2007

The "D" Is For Demon!

‘STD (SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DEMON)‘
Heart of David Pictures, Inc. is casting STD (Sexually Transmitted Demon), a DV dramatic short about a young virgin woman who loses her faith and takes a wrong turn in her quest for companionship (Whatever do they mean, I wonder?). Project is of a sexual nature, but no nudity is involved. Three days of shooting begin April 20. Shauntay XXXXX, dir.-exec-prod. Seeking—Tyran Bryant: early-to-late 20s, outgoing, attractive, works in promotions, LEAD; Trina Belvitt: early-to-late 20s, conservative dress, religious, outspoken, LEAD; Males and Females: various day-players. Auditions will be held by appt. only March 31. Time and location will be provided after initial inquiry. For an appointment, email XXXXX.com. Prepare a short dramatic monologue, and be ready to cold read. For more info, go to www.myspace.com/heartofdavidpictures. No pay, but copy, credit, and meals provided.

At first I thought this was going to be some quirky film where this woman dates the wrong guy and winds up with like, this little fuzzy Muppet-like "demon" that follows her around all day and night making wise-cracks about her weight and dead-end career and choices in men. Which could be funny. But then I read the ad again... and now I'm scared. I feel like I need to counteract the future effects of this film by saying here and now that: No, you cannot contract Satan by having Sex. Satan has nothing to do with sex. So you're safe as long as you're responsible. So go enjoy yourselves.

Telling It Like It Is

‘PAUL BUNYAN AND OTHER TALL TALES,‘ ME
The Theater at Monmouth is casting the touring production of Paul Bunyan and Other Tall Tales, touring throughout Maine and performing for school children at Cumston Hall, the theatre’s home. Some workshops are taught in addition to performing. Jerri XXXXX, dir.; David XXXXX, playwright-prod. dir. The contract runs from April 18-June 1 and includes a four-week tour throughout Maine and two weeks of performances at Cumston Hall.S eeking—Two Actors: male or female. Note: Producers are seeking creative and energetic individuals who work collaboratively and are excited by working on original material. Actors, singers, and musicians, especially acoustic guitar or fiddle players are encouraged to apply. Performers of all ethnicities are encouraged to apply. No divas or jackasses. Auditions will be held at the end of March in NYC. Email pix & resumes to XXXXX.org. Housing, some meals, and transportation provided. $250/wk.
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Now I'm Just Being Picky.

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