Forget Strippers With Hearts Of Gold...

...these ladies have strong socio-political views:

[ BIG BREASTED STRIPPER ]

SEARCHING FOR WOMAN WITH D CUP OR BIGGER BREASTS. SHE IS A STRIPPER IN A CLUB IN QUEENS. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH TOPLESS NUDITY.  After her dance, she gives advice about sex to the "skinny girls"...1 speech, 1 scene  (29) (Ah yes, sex for skinny girls! So much different than sex for non-skinny girls... is it?)

[ NANDINI ]

SEARCHING FOR NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN. MID 20S TO 50S. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY. She is another member of the theatre company, and she talks to the group about women who are shamed for having their period...2 speeches, at least 1 scene  (81) (Are there women who are ashamed of having their periods? Do they mean 'ashamed' or 'annoyed'?)

[ AUDRE ]

SEARCHING FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN BUTCH / STUD LESBIAN ACTRESS. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY. She is another member of the theater company and she talks to the group about the injustice done to 4 young black lesbians who were convicted of gang assault and received long sentences in New York State prisons for defending themselves against street harassment...1 speech and at least 1 scene. (Preach! Now take your top off!)

I can't remember where this came from or why there is no payment information. Sorry! But I think it's safe to say that none of my readers would have wanted to apply...

Oh... Canada... *sigh*

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

When A Thesaurus Can Help You Seem More Sensitive

Casting new TV Show staring willie demeo Vinny Pastore (sopranos) needs Soccer Mom Type

Tuesday Dec 2nd at country club casting females 30 to 50 non union to play jap Jewish long island mom to settle dispute between mobsters.

Auditions will be from 8am to 10am if you get picked will shoot same day (Wow, that's... weird. So in order to simply audition I will have needed to clear my whole day?)

Country club 14TH st and 8TH ave across from supermarket

No pay but great Exposure and chance to meet amazing Director and big Actors (There's no such thing as big roles, only... wait...)

Please email pictures tonight with number

JT 646-XXX-XXXX

The Character Descriptions Alone Are Worth The Price Of Admission

This is from the Equity website - just the character breakdowns:

SAFE — Equity Principal Auditions

Studio Dante
New York, NY

LOA-NYC

Van:
Late 20s – early 30s. Smart in a self-destructive way. Has a rough charm that people often find attractive. Dangerous and endearing. No stranger to pain. A cool exterior on a violent soul.

Ginger:
Mid-20s. Fearless, or at least not afraid of what she already knows. Used to getting attention from men. Determined not to let anything get too close. Fierce. Independent. Eyes on the horizon, looking for home.

Muzzy:
Late 20s – early 30s. Bear-like. Powerful. Thoughtful. Savage. A victim of first impressions. Intuitive. Driven by an intense self-loathing. Maintained by a curious capacity to learn. And to love.

Characters named after vehicles, spices and cutesy nonsense words... they are dangerous with cool exteriors, eyes on the horizon, savage yet endearing, bear-like, curious and self-loathing...

My god... it's all so beautiful! Yet painful! I love it! No, wait...

I loathe it.

When Words Are Worth A Thousand Pictures...

Casting Notice

Project Name: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Project Type: Film & TV
Format:
Rate/Compensation:
Message:

Role: SAG female prisoners
Role Type: Extra
Gender/Age/Ethnicities: Female / 18 to 55 / All Ethnicities, AfricanAm, Am-Indian, Asian, Caucasian, East-Ind, Hispanic, MidEastern, Mixed, PacificIsland
Description/Note: Seekign SAG actors to portray FEMALE inmates. Will work mutiple days. Looking for a mix of types. Please note if you are comfortable weight lifting and have done it previously. Also note if you are comforatble working a shower scene. Note if you are comfortable showering bareback wearing pasties, or just being in your bra and panties, and also getting wet.

We Only Get Naked For Love (And "Some" Pay)

‘SHORT CUT TO HOLLYWOOD’

Bavaria, Schiwagofilm & Capturefilm are casting Short Cut to Hollywood. Astrid XXXXX, casting dir.; Jan XXXXX & Macus XXXXX, dirs. Starting production Feb. 1 in NYC.Seeking—Thorsten Gripp: 55-57, Caucasian, producer, originally from Germany, fluent German required, his successful days are history, looks bedraggled and depressed, more like an unemployed teacher (then he wouldn't be a teacher, would he?) than a film producer, smokes too much and it shows; Paula from ABC: 34-40, not necessarily African-American, a Condoleeza Rice-type, tough with a strong attitude, will do whatever it takes to get her job done well-no questions asked; Shannon: 20-25, fearless, hungry for life, likes to have the final say, very attractive and knows it, what may make other women look vain and unappealing seems for her playful and self-confident, smart and quick, eloquent and has more knowledge of human nature than most of the cool, slick, “women experts” out there, is only interested in men who pose a challenge to her, the affection for John is something in between true feelings and the lust for adventure (and what could be more thrilling than rocking the world with a future super star?), partial nudity in the part, it means that there are love scenes (It does? Then why not just say that? Because it could also mean shower scene/getting dressed scene/works-part-time-as-an-artists' model scene... etc.); Drug Dealer: 17-19, African-American, tooth gap (interesting requirement) and has a devious look in his eyes. Email pix & résumés to XXXXX.de. For more info, visit www.short-cut-to-hollywood.de. Some pay.

There's a 'New Jack City - Type'?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Da, Is Good Film.

LIFT

Brett XXXXX (talent coord.) is casting Lift, a financed indie feature film. Shooting in early September in NYC. Seeking Irina: 30s, female, Russian, former acrobat turned lawyer (Those are some flexible briefs!); Nina: 30s, female, Russian beauty, "flaky-Ophelia-on-acid" type (Whoa! That's a 'type'?); Valentina: 30s, female, Russian, tall, blonde, voluptuous rustic type (The only things curvier than her silhouette are the rural hills she hails from! Zing!); Claude: 40-50s, male, strong-quiet-Frenchman (Jean Reno) type; Father Victor: 40-50s, male, gregarious, no physical preference; Rabbi Menashe: 30-40s, male, gaunt, morose, flexible physical attributes (Flexible? Perhaps he, too, is a former acrobat?); Fima: 40s, male, Russian, lovable loser type, no physical preference; Berman: 40s, male, Russian, successful doctor, no physical preference, slightly pompous; Gioia: 20-30s, female, Italian hottie, no physical preference; Lyudmila: 40-50s, female, Russian-Jewish-mother type; Boris: teens-early 20s, male, Russian; Gallery Owner: 30-50s, male, no physical preference, slightly sleazy; Bill the Boss: 40s, male, corporate lawyer type; Howard Harris: 40-50s, male, tall, slender, blond-gray, elegant, stuffy Brit; Landlord: 50s, male, aggressive, no physical type. Note: Actors with Russian fluency a plus for Russian roles.Send pix & resumes to Russian Film LLC, XXXXX. Box XXXXX, NYC 10012. No phone calls or walk-ins. Compensation according to role. Producer plans to apply for a SAG Low Budget Film Agreement. (First posted 7/27/06, revised 7/28/06)

I like how the last one finally has "no physical type" - like they've given up and thrown their Movie Cliche Thesaurus out the window.

Further down in the ad breakdown it read: "Nudity: Yes", which I sort of assumed. You can't have a movie that includes a former acrobat and men-of-the-cloth, without showing a little boobage, am I right? I so wish I could figure out what the plot will be. It sounds like the beginning of a joke, does it not?: "So a Priest, a Rabbi and a former acrobat-turned-lawyer walk into an art gallery..."

Audition Sometime This Month For a Film To Shoot Later This Year With Maybe A Couple Rehearsals

‘PLAY ME’
Mutante Pictures is casting the short film Play Me, a dark, surrealist, perfomance art-based short film about a pompous and shallow man’s evening that segues into nightmarish meetings with his own psyche’s hidden demons. Paul XXXXX & Shaun XXXXX, prods.-dirs. Rehearsals will take place sporadically over two to four weeks (Sounds like they have a very clear scedule.); shooting three to five days in spring and summer in NYC. Seeking—Male: 30-35, white, old ex Ivy-leaguer type, slippery and paunchy, Republican, snake-like charm, physical theatre experience a plus, sexy clothing, will be able to display emotional demolition (???), LEAD; Female: 28-35, Caucasian, blonde/brunette, long hair, attractive, curvaceous, new agey, generally mellow but can explode with exasperation, LEAD; Mime Artist/Physical Clown: male or female, the more bizarre the better; Seductress: vivacious, belly dancer; Other Roles: bring on the freaks. (Careful what you wish for!!!) Send pix & résumés to Paul XXXXX, 609 XXXXX St., 9th fl., NYC XXXXX. Casting will begin at the end of March. You will be called prior to this date (TBD) (Gosh, these guys are so regimented with their scheduling, I can hardly stand it...) and provided with an excerpt of each character’s script/direction to prepare. Possible deferred pay, plus travel and meals provided.

Boobs Make Everything Scarier

INDIE HORROR

Casting twist-ending independent horror shorts and a Gothic-type feature. Seeking: females, 18 to 30-ish, attractive, exotic, and busty types to play lead heroines, victims, vampresses, gypsies, nurses, maids; males, 30-plus, character types for intense scientists, Catholic priests. Non-union. No experience necessary (models welcome). Transportation and DVD copy. Pay for leads. Send pix & resumes to Shriekcinema...

Why bother with the twist-endings when, based on the casting notice, I'd say these projects already sound completely unpredictable and unorthodox for the horror genre. Older professional men, young top-heavy working girls... I'm frightened already.

Skinny Hippy Type Caucation White Girl With Strung Out Look And Sting Like Hair?

Subj: 18 year old white girl needed for feature film sag waver for 2 days
.we are looking for young caucation female 18 or 19 strung out look hippy type sting like hair for a feature film auditions will be today thursday march 3rd from 11am to 3pm in ny you must send pic and attach your # ONLY 18 OR 19 skinny type
Sincerely,JT JT

Makes perfect sense. But be careful with the sting-like hair (I'm not sure if they mean they want you to look like Sting, or if your hair should be dangerously sharp - hard to say), but you'll get a SAG waver. Which, I guess, is someone from the union who stands there and waves at you.

Obnoxious, Sarcastic, Bitchy Strippers Who Are Also Caring, Loving And Affectionate.

INDEPENDENT FEATURE FILM CASTING CALL – RESUME AND HEADSHOT SUBMISSIONS: Female - (drumroll please...) Voluptuous Stripper types

CASTING CALL: INDEPENDENT FEATURE FILM

GENRE: COMEDY

AUDITIONS TO BE HELD: SUMMER and FALL 2003 (2004, and Winter 2006. Shoot dates TBA.)

Long Island, New York based Mishi Films is now accepting headshots, resumes, DVD and VHS audition reels, links to actors websites and web video clips for the following:

1. Female - Voluptuous Stripper types

* UNION and NON-UNION Female actors / performers
* Age range: 21-30 years old
* Height: 4"11" - 5'8" (FOUR FEET ELEVEN INCHES??? Wow. They aren't picky are they?)
* Character Traits: Obnoxious, sarcastic, bitchy, has an attitude, with a edge, yet caring, loving and affectionate.
* Must be comfortable wearing sexy lingerie
* No nudity (Until we change our minds during production.)

Submission Guidelines:

VHS Submissions:
If you have a current acting reel available we would like to see it.

Original VHS audition tapes should show a minimum of two-three monologues of existing or new and original material, and demonstrate your comedic acting ability. (Ability to swirl tassles in opposing directions while accepting money from the audience a plus.)

Mail Submissions:
Please include your e-mail address on your headshot and in your resume. Please send headshots, resumes, DVD and VHS reels to:

Michelle XXXXX - Casting Director
Mishi Films
P.O. Box XXXXX
XXXXX, NY 11725

Electronic submissions:
NOTE - E-mail attachments will not be accepted and will be deleted without being opened.
E-mail casting queries: XXXXX

If you are submitting via e-mail cut and paste your headshot and resume into the body of the
e-mail document.

Which Type Are You?

Megaworks Universe, Inc. is seeking: three sexy female performers, anywhere from model types to stripper types to Pamela Lee types who look 18 - 25. Must be outgoing, fun natured (Fun natured?), and comfortable wearing minimal clothing (Who isnt?). No nudity. All ethnic groups desired. Future pay. Chosen performers will be part of a techno/rock band's live shows and will interact with the other band members. Must have transportation to and from the NYC area. Great opportunity for exposure. Non-Union Performers. Send pix and resume (body shot preferred, snapshots ok) to: Megaworks Universe, Inc.P.O. Box XXXXX, New York, NY 10028 or email: XXXXX.net

I know, the differences are subtle, but subtlty is what this project is all about!

Isn't That The Stuff Old Ladies Use For Arthritis?

Alleycat Films is casting an independent film "Hot Ice." Shooting begins in July. Seeking: three beautiful seductive females, must look 25, stripper-type bodies, strong acting ability. Principal roles. Nudity required, T&A only. No pay, but videocopy, meals, and transportation provided. Video distribution is already guaranteed. Send pix & resumesto Alleycat Films, PO Box XXXXX, Brooklyn, NY 11233, c/o John XXXXX, dir. NON-SAG PERFORMERS.

Do they mean skanky, living-in-a-trailer-park-and-smoking-menthols-and-just-had-my-fourth-kid "stripper type" bodies, or the unrealistic, this-is-what-people-who-have-never-been-to-a-strip-club-think-that-strippers-actually-look-like, "stripper type" bodies?