Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Will Work For A Free Shot Of Booze

‘TEQUILA CONFESSIONS’

Steve XXXXX (casting) is casting Tequila Confessions. Partida Tequila is looking for your best, worst, crazy, or interesting tequila stories. Shooting TBD in NYC, Miami, Chicago, and Los Angeles.

Seeking—Males and Females: 21+, to share their best and worst tequila stories.

Auditions will be held by appt. only in NYC, Miami, Chicago, and Los Angeles. For an appointment, visit www.tequilaconfessions.com, click on “casting call,” and fill out the audition form and attach a jpeg with a recent picture. Due to the number of anticipated submissions (I think you may be over-estimating yourself, hun), not all may be asked to audition. No pay, but confessions will be featured on the website and those who “make the cut” will have the opportunity to taste 100% blue agave premium tequila.

I don't think I want the internet community to be in on my worst tequila moments. Seriously. And I imagine that most of these stories will end with puking, black-outs, or "And I woke up with her screaming that I'd peed on her." (True story - but not mine, thankfully.) Which isn't very pretty. So why bother?

Oh, right - for the "opportunity" to "taste" some fancy tequila. I guess this is sort of like the snake eating it's own tail scenario...
...

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Recipe For (Sexy) Disaster?

Project Name: The Ultimate Exotic Dancer
Project Type: Reality TV
Format:
Rate/Compensation: some pay

Role: Dancers and Actors
Role Type: Other
Gender/Age/Ethnicities: Male or Female / 20 to 45 / All Ethnicities

Breakdown: 2 gorgeous actress model types as spokes models ages 20-40 Pamela Anderson or Carmen Electra types. Must own evening dress high heels. 7 exotic dancer types willing to do a dance rehearsal scene in a studio. No nudity required. Must have sexy dance rehearsal clothing. Bring CD of your music and prepare a 1 minute routine. Actors 2 choreographers 1 over weight mean ballet instructor we prefer European type but not required 2 ballet dancers 3 male or female actors any age

Mix exotic dancers with ballet dancers in tiny dressing room. Wait until the stench of superiority wafting from the ballerinas is overwhelming. Add overweight "European type" ballet instructor. Once the original mixture is sufficiently deflated, fold in choreographers. When the mess starts to take shape, sprinkle with random actors for comedic effect and frost with spokes-models for sweetness. Serve chilled.

Seriously though, will they be judged? How will those comments go:

"Well Krystal, that routine was very similar to last week's - what with all the sliding down the pole and hair whipping. But it still managed to turn me on... Good job!"

Friday, November 09, 2007

She Cares Because She's Topless

CRAZY GIRLS’

TheSkinnieMinnies (prod.) is casting Crazy Girls, an HDV 27-min (Wow, that is a really specific guess at a running time considering it hasn't even been filmed yet) short film. Mark XXXXX, dir. Shooting in Dec. Seeking principals—Professor McCrane: male, 50s, mature, distinguished, looks like he’s lived and seen a lot; Anderson: male, 30s-40s, cool, calm, collected, nothing surprises him; David: male, 20s-30s, can put on the charm when he has to, but behind closed doors is abusive; Dr. Walters: female, 30s, psychiatrist, intelligent, no-nonsense, but still caring, note: brief topless nudity required; Dr. Miller: male, 40s, chief resident; Dr. Stanley and Dr. Chandra: male or female, 20s, residents; Nurses: male and female, any age. Also seeking background—Para Military #1: male, 30s; Para Military: male and female, 20s; Residents: male and female, 20s; Indian Woman: 18+; Male Orderlies: 30s; Neighbors: male and female, 18+; Police Officers: male and female, uniform a plus. Also seeking staff—Makeup Artist: for beauty and special effects. Auditions will be held by appt. only. Email pix & résumés to XXXXX.com. For more information, visit www.theskinnieminnies.com. No pay, but copy, credit, and meals provided. Producer plans to apply for SAG Short Film Agreement.

So... where are all the crazy girls? Have they already been cast? Or is Dr. Walters it? Perhaps the ladies mentioned are really just her split personalities - her caring, intelligent and topless inner-selves? I guess we'll have to stay tuned to find out - it'll only take 27 minutes of your time.
...

Friday, November 02, 2007

Girls Gone Wild Never Gets Old

Actresses/models needed for Girls Gone Wild spoof! (Union Square)
Reply to: XXXXX.org

Date: 2007-11-01, 2:05PM EDT
Hello, We are a nationally-circulated humor magazine and are putting together a video that will make fun of the "Girls Gone Wild" motif. Actresses/models will be required to undress* (see below) and will need to be available for up to 12 hours the day of shooting. The look is a "girl next door slumber party", so if you can make that work, we'd love to hear from you. This gig does not pay, however we are well-known in the media and respected among fashion/photo editors and other humor publications. If you need an in into fashion or comedy, this is a damn good start. *Concerning nudity, models/actresses will be required to be topless and in underwear. Chest and private parts will be covered up by model's own hands or by other objects. The camera will NOT film private parts.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay


At first I was, "Oh honey, please", but then as I read on, I envisioned innocent girls at a mundane sleepover flashing each other (or whatever) and thought that could actually make Gabby crack a smile. And while camera crew, etc. will get to see your "privates" (that term makes me giggle - I feel like I'm in kindergarten again. Is it nap time yet?), no one on the internets will. So, fine.

But if you're so "well known in the media" then how about a paycheck? Or is that the point? "Spoofing" the invention of some creep who made millions by getting girls to flash him for free by doing the same? Are you evil geniuses - or just cheap???

How Can You Get Experience Filming And 'Learning The Craft' If You Are Busy Getting Serviced By The Woman You Are Paying To Touch You?

Casting---Attractive Females for Video Test shoots. (Chelsea)
Reply to: XXXXX.org

Date: 2007-11-01, 3:33PM EDT

Casting---Attractive Females for Video Test shoots. Women Only needed for Amateur video-grapher/former actor (cool, chill, goodlooking) (Oh, thank god he's good-looking! Everyone knows that homely people have no real talent or vision.) in Manhattan currently experimenting in Adult style Video shoots ranging from Tease to more explicit, HJ/BJ (Uhhh... What?! You mean like PORN???) Seeking attractive Models/Actresses who are interested in making some cash while participating in my learning the craft, process and comfort of these types of shoots ***************These are Test Shoots for private use only. Not to be sold, broadcast or copied in any way (Oh, well then, if these are just for your own private use and this is more like me being a prostitute than an actor - that's fine.) ************************** "Studio" (At least he's honest - we all know it's probably just an old broom closet with a stained futon mattress on the floor) is located in lower mid-town Manhattan The shoots are One on One, relaxed and chill and easy. The shoot moves rather quickly and almost never lasts more than 20-30 minutes or so from the time of your arrival at the studio (20-30 minutes? Uh, look, pal... boasting about your "speed" in this arena might not behoove you). Pay range is from $75-$150. Pay is based on Looks/Limitations. If you think you may be interested, please respond with a few pictures (clothed is fine), your limitations, and your general availability for a shoot.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $75-$150 per 20 minute shoot


WOW. Wow. Well, I guess if producing/performing in porn is your dream then you gotta start somewhere.