Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Casting: Roles That Have Already Been Cast

HAPPY 200TH ENTRY Nudity Required, No Pay readers! Thanks to all you lovelies out there who need a good laugh. But thanks even more to all you nutters who are busy writing scripts for a sci-fi/fantasy/historical/thriller/horror feature, which will shoot with no budget, after the cast drives themselves to the backwoods of Pennsylvania, to run through the woods naked, doing their own stunts. Your optimism is refreshing and I wish you the best! Keep the ads coming...

Yours forever truly,


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Dear Clients,

There is only a few more emailing going out like this if your not on the Database then you wont know about this stuff anymore any questions Email me

Casting Call for "Lost In Amsterdam" 7/17
LOCATION: XXXXX: 8th ave between XXXXX suite 506
12- 6pm
John XXXXX Casting
Director: Franklyn of Cypher
Producer: Mathew XXXXX
PRODUCERS: Cypher Productions, LLC

(Sides will be provided by you can have a monologue prepared) What?

Character breakdown

DOC: Artsy and tough Brooklyn transplant who runs an Urban Arts Course in Amsterdam and befriends Fynx. Cast: Courtney XXXXX

FYNX: 26 year old party promoter and artist who lives at home with her parents. Is striving to become her own person in the eyes of the people around her. She has great talents with in her but is shy to show it. Cast: Rachel XXXXX

HUMPHREY: Tall, Thin, homeless man who befriends Butterfly Jones and helps the crew from Brooklyn. Age 35-50. Uncast

KRYSTA: 30 year old club promoter and manager at a strip club who wonders how her life got out of control. She is still hanging out with and throwing parties with her high school friends and is at the end of her rope. Krysta is reevaluating everything in her life and trying to figure out who really belongs in it. Cast: Janet XXXXX

ROSCO: Albert's childhood friend and now right hand man. Slow and dim whited (Whited? *sigh*) but loyal to a fault. Rosco is deathly afraid of Little People and believes and old wive's tale about them stealing his knees. Cast: Brimstone (As in "Fire and-"?)

SALLY DOGS: Angelo has risen to the head of his crime family by only trusting one man. Sally Dogs. A distinguished man in his late 50's early 60's.. When Albert and Rosco try to go to Amsterdam to continue the scheme, Sally is there to keep an eye on them. Sally hasn't decided if he's in Amsterdam to catch Dion and his friends or to put Albert in his place for good. Cast: Ronnie The Rottweiler (At first I was like, "Oh no - is this another "Cats & Dogs" movie? But I think this might be an actual human...? It's like reading a casting notice from another planet...)

TIFFANI: Is the 30-35 year old business assistant and friend of VIctoria. Tiffany runs the business while Victoria Shines her great smile. Tiffani cares for Victoria but thinks she's too risky when it comes to the business. Cast: Carrissa XXXXX

VICTORIA: Smart and sexy socialite that catches Dion's eye. She is the heiress of a New York Architectural fortune. Although very much about having fun and living the moment, she has a deep core that does what she does for the memory of her departed brother. Cast: Lauren XXXXX

[ANGRY STRIP CLUB BOYS 1-3]: frat boy type mid 20's. Uncast



WOMAN IN WINDOW: mid 20's. Uncast

AIRPORT SECURITY: Loud Black Woman in her 30's-40's. Uncast

YOUNGER ANGELO: Thin good looking man in his late 30's must look like a young. Uncast

YOUNG DION: 6-9 year old young black kid, must look like Dion. Uncast

ANGELO: Distinguished Italian crime boss, 60's-70's wants only to be on vacation but Dion and Albert won't leave him alone. Cast: Steve XXXXX

DIANE: Loud overbearing mother, who cares too much .40's. Cast: Rose XXXXX

DIGEO RIVERA: late 30's early 40's, Italian mobster. Simple spoken. Uncast (Ummm... Italian? Are you positive?)

DOUGLAS: Strong, young Black man age 30's. Uncast

CINDY: Young college aged girl who is Fynx's younger friend. Cast: Cheryl XXXXX

FANTASIA: Brash stripper, funny and confident. age 20's. Uncast

HELGA: Age 30's dutch cleaning lady with comic timing. Uncast

LOKI DA TRIXTA: Cast: Cameo Brooklyn Hip-Hop Artist

MIKE SPICE: Early 30's black or Hispanic hip hop producer. Uncast

MRS. RUSSO: Older Italian Neighborhood woman age 60-70. Uncast

SAGA ONE: Cast: Cameo Brooklyn Hip-Hop Artist

UNCLE WOODROW: Older Jive talking Black man age 70-80. Cast: Melvin Van XXXXX (ha)

VICTOR RIVERA: early 40's Italian Cultured half of the Rivera Mobster Brothers. Cast: Dominic XXXXX Jr.

ANGELO'S BUTLER: older quiet man. 70's-80's. Uncast

OLAF: Sexually Ambiguous Dutch Bellhop Age late 30's-40. Cast: Bristol XXXXX


LITTLE MAN 2: Cast: Neo

[LITTLE MEN 3-7]: Little person who is sick of being called names and has decided to kick butt. Uncast

SIR FITZGERALD YATES: Short, fat balding dirty little man, Age 40-60 who runs a brothel and mistakes Krysta as a new applicant. Uncast

STRIPER 2: mid 20's. Uncast (Oh cool - like candy stripers? Or did you forget a letter? I have a feeling you forgot a letter...)

STRIPER 3: mid 20's. Uncast


BUTTERFLY'S GRANDFATHER: Caucasian age 60-70. Uncast (I see a Sally Dog, a Saga One, a Fantasia and a couple of "stripers"... but who the hell is Butterfly?)

BUTTERFLY'S GRANDMOTHER: Caucasian age 60-70. Uncast

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Naked Boobs = Backbone. Who Knew?

Feature Film

Writer: Barrett XXXXX and Derek XXXXX
Producers: Barrett XXXXX, Derek XXXXX, and Melody XXXXX
Casting Director: Derek XXXXX
Interview: July 17th, 2010
Shoot: July 20th, 2010
Location: Upper West Side, NYC

TEL: 347-277-XXXX

There is nudity in this project.

A science fiction heist thriller set in an alternate reality. The two main female roles in the film are both necessary in creating the sense of urgency that is required in order for us to maintain the integrity and thrilling back bone (and for giving us something ogle).

applies the leverage to the story's protagonist that sets in action the course of events that make up the film. (This is a very long sentence that tells you absolutely NOTHING. That takes skill.)

the emotional centre of the story. Semi nude scenes. NOT full nudity.

I never knew that naked women gave a film backbone (and boobs). I guess this is what you learn in film school. I wonder what naked men would give a film...

"Dude, We've Hit The Big Time! Let's Not Share The Wealth."

Monday, Jul. 12, 2010, 12:29 PM Pacific

Music Video

Director: Tom XXXXX
Monday, Jul. 12, 2010, 12:29 PM Pacific
Casting Director: MacKenzie XXXXX
Shoot: July 17 and 18
Location: New York

TEL: (917) 862-XXXX

There is nudity in this project.

Although all roles are unpaid, the band you'll be working with is embarking on a major tour opening for a big name act (Then don't they have any money to pay their naked people? They sound greedy and/or insensitive. I don't like their music already...). This is not a traditional music video, but rather a series of vignettes set to music by the band. The scenes are whimsical, oddball comments on the sex industry, so please note that some of the roles do require nudity. MASSAGE GIRL 1 and 2 and PORNO DUDE and GIRL will be shooting intimate scenes together, so please feel free to submit with a friend or partner.

60+, any ethnicity, the older-looking the better. Father Time type. Non-speaking role.

40's, male, Caucasian, gay but not flamboyantly so. Well-spoken, educated, wears ties - maybe even bow ties.

20's, any ethnicity, not too skinny. Must be comfortable appearing in lingerie. Non-speaking.

20's, any ethnicity, not too skinny, nice butt. Must be comfortable appearing in lingerie, including a thong or high cut panties. Non-speaking.

20's, any ethnicity, Abercrombie and Fitch type, jocky, suburban. Kind of guy who would shoot a sex tape with his girlfriend. Must be comfortable with a simulated sex scene. Nudity required.

20s, any ethnicity, girl next door pretty. Kind of girl who would let her boyfriend talk her into shooting a sex tape (What "kind of girl" is that, exactly? But it seems like it's a pretty common thing now...). Must be comfortable with a simulated sex scene. Nudity required.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Thin Mints Is PEOPLE!


Anxiety Films is casting Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre, a horror/comedy B-movie that spoofs late-night Cinemax-style sex comedies and George Romero-style highly political "midnight movie" zombie flicks, while also spoofing the Girl Scouts of America. Eric S. XXXXX, casting dir. Shooting mid-July to early September in NJ, Brooklyn & NYC.

Seeking—Linda Lovelocks: female, 20s, ex-cheerleader, wild, energetic, obnoxious, overbearing, identifies herself as her power is in her good looks and her body, vindictive, conniving, a bitch, brief partial to full nudity required for opening locker room/shower scene, LEAD; Sherri Fulcrumb: female, early 20s, ex-nurse, caught selling drugs, feisty, sarcastic, a lot of fun, very outspoken, wild, crazy, super attractive, brief partial to full nudity required for opening locker room/shower scene and sex/love scene, LEAD; Wendy Powers: female, 20s, when God handed out brains, Wendy came up a little short, an ex-carwash girl who has fallen on hard times after prostituting herself at the carwash for college money, finds herself in reform school in NJ, what's worse blood-thirsty zombies take over her town and she's caught in the midst, ditzy, silly, sexy, gorgeous but trashy, simple girl, maybe a bit hippie or gothy, brief partial or full nudity required for opening locker room/shower scene, supporting role; Mickey Mayhem: male, 20s, band frontman, skinny, good-natured, well-meaning, nerdy D&D player, dresses in very '70s clothing, loving, a leader, brief partial nudity required for love scene, LEAD; Billy Firewire: male, 20s, band member, skinny, outgoing, sex-obsessed in a 14-year-old boy kind of way, nerdy, D&D player, dresses like a vampire, goofy, has a mean streak, brief partial nudity required for love scene, LEAD; Johnny Severed Goats Head: 20s, in a band, weird, cool dress, skinny, supporting role; Chainsaw Mike: 20s, in a band, weird, cool dress, skinny, supporting role. Also seeking—Three Newscasters; Fat Orderly: African-American; Airline Stewart Captain: muscular and clean-cut; Italian Boss; Man at Carwash; Mustached Creepy Man; Rocker Chick; Hipster Boy; McDonald's Spokesperson; Ned Beatty Look-Alike; Record Store Employee; Radio Announcer; Grover: African-American, store owner. Note: For roles that require nudity, think typical slasher/horror movie love scenes and the locker room shower scene in Carrie.

Email pix & résumés to Eric at For more info, visit No pay, but copy, credit, meals, and travel provided. Producer plans to apply for SAG Ultra Low Budget Film Agreement.

This sounds delightful, actually. Maybe Gabby will audition. Time to go home and practice running through the woods topless, and tripping over nothing. It'd be worth it to meet "Johnny Severed Goats Head"... he sounds dreeeeaaammmy...