Tuesday, February 23, 2010

"My, That Hooker Sex Scene Was Just SO Darn Tasteful!"

Ten-Fe Productions is casting Los Mambero, a feature film. Carlos XXXXX, prod.-dir. Shooting approx. Feb. 15 in NYC. Seeking—Female Escorts: 21-30, all ethnicities, actress/models, speaking role, must speak both English and Spanish, full nudity (tastefully shot - as opposed to distastefully shot? Now I'm curious... and sad.) required for simulated sex scenes; Emcee: female, for club scene, experience as host/emcee a plus; Photographer: female, 21-40, no photography experience required; Undercover FBI Agents: male, Middle Eastern, to work undercover, with their own turbans and long beards. Also seeking crew—Film Students: seeking on-set experience. Auditions will be held by appt. only ASAP in downtown NYC. For an appt., email XXXXX.com, or call (631) 796-XXXX, or send pix & résumés ASAP to XXXXX, Bronx, NY 10453. Pay is negotiable.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

This Scares The Crap Out Of Me

LOS ANGELES, CA - Reality television has taken audiences worldwide by storm, with shows that have contestants battling it out to survive the wild, others that have housewives from New Jersey to Orange Country showcasing their personal lives while others are looking for love in all the wrong places let it be the world of Rock or a Bachelor sifting through the ruins. Let us not forget the reality shows that actually produce a future in the world of music making the American dream come true for some while opening the doors of opportunity for others just to get noticed on national television. (Alright - you make a strong case in favor or reality TV. You also make some very strange and overly-long sentences, but I will keep reading...)

The latest reality series project that is currently casting is called W.E.A.P.O.N., the producers are seeking to cast 14 women between the ages of 21-40 that think that they have what it takes to be part of the elite entertainment team W.E.A.P.O.N.
(And who are W.E.A.P.O.N.? What do they do? And why do I want to be a part of them?) This is Not Your Ordinary Reality Show........ In the Challenge that will change their lives in the world of entertainment forever, 14 women battle it out for the right to be a part of the evolution in entertainment called W.E.A.P.O.N, (Yes, you mentioned that. Please see my previous questions: Who? What? Why?)

In this competition that will rival most Reality TV competitions, 14 women will live in a house which will set the stage for 8-10 weeks of training, competition and experience that they would not receive anywhere. They will receive training from experienced leaders in modeling, acting, martial arts, film making, stunt coordinating, directing, and fitness. They will also compete in all of those areas week in and week out until the final four battle it out in hopes of becoming a part of W.E.A.P.O.N., an elite team that will be unleashed on the world of entertainment that will reach millions.
(OMG. Who the hell are W.E.A.P.O.N. already??? What do they DO, for crying out loud!)

This is definitely not your ordinary reality show, it’s not about housewives, people from the shores of New Jersey, buying real estate, finding that special love or becoming America’s next big music or talent sensation.

All houseguest on this series will gain something from this experience that will not only be with them for the rest of their lives but will enhance their journey in the world of entertainment.
If you think that you have that X-Factor to bring to W.E.A.P.O.N. then this may be your opportunity to become a part of what will be one of the most elite teams in entertainment. The application and audition process is made simple, we are taking remote video submissions from potential houseguest (the word "houseguest" is not like the words "fish" or "moose". You do need to add an "s" to make it plural. Please and thank you.), all submissions must be in WMV format.

To apply go to XXXXX...
Some of the members of the W.E.A.P.O.N. crew include host the UCW Radio Show and former professional wrestler Louis XXXXX, celebrated author and South Florida socialite Christopher XXXXX [etc.]... and more will be announced soon. (I thought W.E.A.P.O.N. was all female? Clearly I am missing something.)

For Media Inquiries Only
For Casting Only

I am deeply hesitant about a reality TV show with a vague premise and a title connoting violence. The "soft script" of the pilot episode in my head involves a scantily-clad fight to the death using various household objects, make-up & hair accouterments as lethal weapons.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Telling It Like It Is

Thanks to Failblog.org, we now have a visual reference as to where all these Nudity Required; No Pay projects end up: on the BOOBIES! shelf.

Monday, February 01, 2010

I'm Glad My Boss Doesn't Care All That Much If I Occasionally Steal Post-Its.

Casting Female Actresses for Feature Film
Date: 2010-01-25, 1:49PM EST

Reply to:
XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Island Interactive Media is casting for several female roles big and small. We do need tons of EXTRA females for a very important scene. Auditions will be on the 31st SUNDAY and filming would take place March Through April. Please email us a headshot and resume or most recent photo. Also what role you would be interested in and your availability.

Sarah Sinese – Female Supporting – (20-23yrs) 5’3-5’8 – Caucasian *** Must be okay with
strong sexual content*** Sarah couldn’t be happier to have James as her new Fiancée. Everything she does is for him or in support of him. She is happy to be living with James and his family. She accidentally takes part in her own demise (That's... a weird way of putting it), which contributes to James’s thirst for revenge. She as well has great family values and is quite the vision of beauty.

Hanna Berkley – Female Supporting – (22-25yrs) 5’3-5’8 – Caucasian *** Must be okay with
strong sexual content as well as brief nudity*** A female companion that comes into the picture while Jamie is in witness protection. It is the first real connection he has had in so many years. Although there are complications with James getting to know her according to the rules of witness protection, one on-duty officer takes pity on James and decides to bend the rules a little.

Females 21-40 Any Ethnicity. Must be okay with
brief Nudity. *Reason for nudity- Scene takes place in a coke chopping and packing plant (I'm assuming you mean cocaine and not Coca Cola) and due to the untrusting Mafia, no females are allowed to wear clothes so that they can not steal anything. (What about the men? Are they allowed to wear clothes? That would make for an awkward work place - either way.)

Females- supporting – (45-55yrs) Caucasian. Mother of the lead character.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

* Compensation:
no pay