Friday, February 23, 2007

Blurring The Line Between Real 'Talent' And The Stomach Flu:

Talent needed for NYU Film: Disgusting Close Ups (East Village)
Reply to: Date: 2007-02-22, 10:35PM EST
Do you have any disgusting talents or love grossing people out? We're looking for anything from a threshold for pain to vomiting (that's a talent?) to anything you can think of. NYU student film "Disgusting Close Ups" is looking to capture a montage of the most ridiculous footage possible onto 16mm b/w film. Send a description of your “Disgusting Close Up”, the best way to contact you, and your availability. [We have a flexible shooting schedule, but Mondays and Wednesdays preferred] The film will be posted on the internet and you will be credited for your talent (Awesome - this will certainly be the one thing I do that i want everyone to know that it's ME, baby! That's ME puking up there! And don't you forget it!). You will get a copy of the film. (Even more awesome - I can keep this right next to the home movies of my ballet recitals and volleyball games!)
· Compensation: no pay

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Implied Nudity & Implied Payment

Gorman XXXXX (writer-dir.) is casting Friends (With Benefits), a funky romantic comedy from the filmmakers of You Are Alone ( Shooting in April in CT. Seeking—Tatiana: 25, supermodel gorgeous, implied nudity; Lilly: 21, sexy webcam girl-next door (ahh yes, the sexy-webcam-girl-next-door... I believe you can trace this stock character's roots back to the Comedia dell'arte) , nudity, sexual situations; Phoebe: 21, attractive with a heavy accent (French preferred), nudity, sexual situations; Young Chloe: 10, adorable, brown-haired hazel-eyed girl; Young Owen: 10, cute brown-haired brown-eyed boy with a dimple in his chin; Owen’s Father: 50s, rich, Republican doctor; Owen’s Mom: 50s, attractive, Republican wife, family moderator; Richard: a male Dr. Melfi, 40s, therapist; Psychology Professor: 50s, male or female, academia, sexual situation (why are the men involved in the 'sexual situations' always twice the age of the women???); Dan: 24, drummer in alternative band (must be able to play drums); Girl With Hoodie: 18, cute with an amazing body. Note: All roles listed are supporting roles. (Imagine how good it'd feel to know your naked boobs supported a film...) Send pix & résumés to Casting, PO Box XXXXX, Hamden, CT 06517; or email to XXXXXcom. Producer is applying for SAG Ultra Low Budget Film Agreement.

For those of you who are curious, the ad breakdown read "possible pay".

Monday, February 12, 2007

Craigslist Has Casting Notices!

In fact, someone told me that she replied to an ad on CL for a certain famous brand of vodka print job casting, and the gentleman (I use the term loosely) who replied said that she would "only be considered" if she, um... gave him a different kind of "job". AWESOME. That's the sort of thing that makes me giggle... right before I fly into a rage.

Anywho, so I skimmed the site myself and picked a few winners. Of course, these could be perfectly legitimate - like the "work-at-home" webcam business - but they certainly are interesting... And they pay!

Webcam actress needed
Reply to:

Date: 2007-02-12, 10:00AM EST
I am looking to set up a sexy woman who can speak well (Yes... "speak" well. She must be able to "speak" very, very well. In fact, your audition will to to recite the Ghettysburg Adress while showering...) on camera with her own legitimate work-at-home business. Send pic and contact number and I will give you more details. Big opportunity. Thanks
· Compensation: Variable - Pay per video

Flirt and Flash Actress
Reply to:

Date: 2007-02-11, 8:05PM EST
Need one actress for street theater gig. You will flirt and flash (with discretion of course). Of Course! What - do I look like I'm crazy? If I am going to expose myself to strangers in public and have it recorded, you bet I'm gonna be SMART about it!
· Compensation: 250/day

Need Special Actress
Reply to:

Date: 2007-02-12, 9:52AM ESTFor "What do you say to a naked lady?" hidden camera show. How about... "Aren't you cold?" or "Are those real?" or "Pardon me!" or "Wow, you look nothing like my cousin Shirley!" or "Can I help you polish up your resume so you don't have to take creepy jobs from CraigsList anymore?"
· Compensation: 500/day Although I will say that is very tempting...