Monday, May 30, 2011

Advanced Graduate Film In Awful Stereotypes 401

WISH GRANTED
Student Film
SAG

USC Advanced Graduate Student Project

Director: Craig XXXXX
Casting Director: Craig XXXXX
Interview Dates: 4/6, 4/8
Rehearsal: April 10, April 13
In-Class exercise: April 14
Shoot/Start Date: April 17
Pay Rate: Meal, Copy, Credit
Location: Los Angeles

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT.
TEL: (646) XXX-XXXX

IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ACTOR'S ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH EACH ACTOR SUBMISSION.

[ JEANIE ]
early-20's , F, CAUCASIAN -- The world's most beautiful & alluring stripper. (And how do we figure that, exactly?) NUDITY REQUIRED.

[ DOUG ]
mid-20's, M, CAUCASIAN -- Average looking guy with great comic timing.

[ HOPPER ]
mid-20's, M, CAUCASIAN -- Overweight hipster with great comic timing.

[ OLD HAG ]
40's (Hm. 40s is the beginning of 'old hag' territory? My life just got suckier.) to 80's, F, CAUCASIAN -- Unattractive hag who Jeanie transforms into. An 'evil witch'-type

[ PIMP ]
30-50, M, CAUCASIAN -- Bald, burly British pimp from the 1600's. Must be able to speak with AUTHENTIC Cockney accent.

Synopsis -- When the world's most beautiful stripper escorts two friends into the champagne room, the world changes for them -- literally.

Yes - it transforms into a world where only two types of women exist: those who are f*ckable and those who are old/ugly and therefore unworthy of respect (but men can of course can be average and funny). In other words: Hollywood!
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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Dirty Deeds

You might be able to get them done dirt cheap, but payback's a bitch.

Just to follow up on NR/NP's post about the Joseph brooks scandal - you should know that he will no longer stand trial for his alleged (ugh - without a trial they will always remain 'alleged' [although as an NYC jury just made abundantly clear, it's still better than an acquittal]) sexual assaults since he recently took his own life. However, his partner-in-crime, Shawni Lucier, has just pled guilty to criminal facilitation.

You can read Yahoo!'s AP article here.

Joseph Brooks was charged with multiple counts of sexual assualt when he and his assistant lured aspiring actresses to Mr. Brooks' New York City apartment with promises of aiding their careers. Upon arrival, he would ply the young, unchaperoned women with alcohol and make unwanted sexual advances.

Thankfully, Mr. Lucier had the decency to own up after the fact, at least.

Be careful out there...
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Monday, May 23, 2011

Boob-AR

LAST METRO COMPANY PRESENTS FUBAR BY KARL XXXXX
Non-Union Theatre
V/T: Fake Gallery

Directed by Justin XXXXX
Produced by Frank XXXXX and Christine XXXXX
Casting Director: Justin XXXXX
Interview Date: Thursday, May 5
Callback Date: Friday, May 6
Shoot/Start Date: 5 weekends in July Fridays and Saturdays
Production Dates: July 1,2,8,9,15,16,22,23,29,30
Pay Rate: No Pay
Location: Fake Gallery/ East Hollywood

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY
TEL: 310-XXX-XXXX

*THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT.

No nudity required at audition or call back.

IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ACTOR'S ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH EACH ACTOR SUBMISSION.

About Last Metro:
Founding members Frank XXXXX, Lovelle XXXXX and Christine XXXXX started Last Metro Company as a means to evolve as artists, exploring ways to bring a fresh perspective to plays both contemporary and classic. Equally important is carrying on the tradition of live theatre in a world where communication is faster but less personal. With over ten years of combined education at South Coast Repertory, HB Studio, Primary Stages, American Academy of Dramatic Arts and California State University at Fullerton, the founding members of Last Metro Company seek to create a community of theatre artists who are trained yet not confined, who seek personal growth and connection with others. www.lastmetrocompany.com
www.facebook.com/thelastmetrocompany

[ MARY ]
Mid thirties, any ethnicity. Doctor. Carries the tension of someone who grew up in another's shadow. Her mother recently took her own life, so the shadow's gone. But Mary is still tense.

[ DAVID ]
Early thirties, any ethnicity. Mary's husband. VP at a nameless software firm. Had a big exciting kick-ass plan about how this was all supposed to work. This plan should be starting any day now.

[ RICHARD ]
Mid Thirties, any ethnicity. Charismatic, intelligent, drug-dealer. David's old friend. Sports the dress and mannerism of a college professor.

[ SYLVIA ]
Late twenties, any ethnicity. Beautiful San Francisco native. Outgoing and adventurous. Trying to have the biggest life possible. (Partial Nudity required)

[ D.C. ]
Late thirties, any ethnicity. Boxer. Old school. Lives in a different San Francisco from the others.

Synopsis: Mary and David, living amidst the boxes her abused mother left behind, unpacking this small San Francisco apartment while outside, people self-actualize like crazy. (What?) When Mary herself is the victim of an unprovoked act of violence, it leads the two of them down different paths of addiction and realization, one to the violence itself, one to the abuse of cat tranquilizers. (That's a new one.) Meanwhile, Richard is a benevolent drug dealer working on his book while Sylvia wants to use the internet to double her life. ('Double her life'? As in from a D to a DD?) Four people trying to recognize the people they have become in a time that's totally F.U.B.A.R. (Sounds it.)

It always bothers me when people try so hard to make something sound a certain way - especially when they do it in a way that makes very little sense. No one is saying you have to be a brilliant copy editor - you don't have to be. All you have to do is stick to the facts: "A married couple encounter difficulties after the suicide of the wife's mother," or somesuch. Easy-peasy. No self-actualizing-recognition-both-inside-and-out involved.
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Sunday, May 15, 2011

Good News & Bad News

As NR/NP quickly approaches another benchmark - 5,000 hits since the statistics page began last summer (I know, it's a small victory, but Gabby likes to celebrate. So let's pop a bottle!) - I thought I'd share some happy and not so happy news.

Yay!

Years ago, when Gabby first started collecting terrible casting notices, they were everywhere! Slapping us in our pretty little faces, and making us throw up our hands in frustrated disgust. But lately these notices seem hard to come by. Which is bad for business on this end, but hopefully good news that the tide might
sloooooowwllllly be turning in favor of being more fair to the fairer sex. (Fingers crossed!) Now, Gabby isn't against nudity - just exploitation. If you're going to ask a woman to get naked on the job, you gotta treat her right. Am I right?

Boo.

Now for the bad news. Women being mis/under-represented in film is still a chronic and systemic problem. If you haven't heard of the Bechdel Test - check it out. All a film has to do to pass this brilliant little test is meet 3 simple requirements:

  1. It has to have at least two women in it,
  2. Who talk to each other,
  3. About something besides a man.
Sound simple? Think again...


I have to give a shout out to Feministfrequency.com for doing some excellent work. Mwah! Love it.
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Monday, May 09, 2011

Meanwhile, Back In...

PUSSY VALLEY (Niiiiice. I see where this is going...)
Non-Union Theatre
v/t: LARK PLAY DEVELOPMENT CENTER, NYC (Theatre space TBA)
DEVELOPMENTAL WORKSHOP
NON-UNION
Pay Rate: $500 flat

Playwright: Katori XXXXX
Director: Patricia XXXXX
Casting Director: Travis XXXXX
Audition Dates: May 8, 2011; May 9, 2011
Callback Dates: May 9, 2011
1st Rehearsal: May 23, 2011
Performance (Invited): June 3, 2011 only (Only 1 performance and it's invited only?)
Location: NYC

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: XXX-XXX-XXXX X5070

There is nudity in this project.

NOTE: This is a developmental workshop and not a fully staged production. WE ARE LOOKING FOR POLE DANCERS WHO CAN ACT OR ACTORS WHO HAVE POLE DANCING EXPERIENCE. (Who isn't?)

PLAY SYNOPSIS: Down in the Dirty South a quartet women are working hard for their money at the Pink Pony shake joint. AUTUMN NIGHT, MERCEDES, GET 'EM GIDGET, and MISS MISSISSIPPI all have dreams of taking their cash and flying far away from their gilded cage (their "cage" is "gilded"? At a strip joint?), but the current recession is hitting the Mississippi Delta hard and a group of right wing Christians may run them out of town. What will happen to these women whose only option is to shake it to survive? Despite the town's shrinking pockets and anonymous bomb threats, these women fight to take pole dancing to another level. To them pole dancing isn't just about exotic dancing. Pole dancing is an art form, the art of seduction, the art of war...

ROLES:

[ AUTUMN NIGHT ]
going through a quarter life crisis, an elementary school teacher who wants to explore her sexuality. While a little prudish, she's desperate to prove to herself and others that she has what it takes to own the Pink Pony pole dance world.

[ MERCEDES ]
a PK, Preacher's Kid, on the verge of retiring. A fan of reading National Geographic, her intelligence is only matched by her ferocious attitude and her incredible knowledge of the pole dance game. Though she tries to lock it inside a metal box, her gentle heart, at times, explodes out. (That is a terrible metaphor. Ew.)

[ GET 'EM GIDGET ]
the white girl, a 2nd generation pole dancer, has 'love' and 'pain' tattooed across her knuckles. The top white girl in a black establishment, Gidget has no trouble running with the best of them. Even if she's reigning queen of the Pink Pony, she's still retaining her southern ol' Miss charm.

[ MISS MISSISSIPPI ]
three children and a man that beats her, pole dancing isn't a choice, it's the only choice. (I think you mean option - it's not a choice, it's the only option...) You gotta be tough as nails to do what Miss Mississippi do and she does it well. Desperate to get out of the pole dancing game and on to bigger and better things, she'll do anything.

AUDITION NOTE: AUDITIONS WILL BE HELD AT NYLA'S STUDIO OF HARLEM. PLEASE BE PREPARED TO PRESENT A 2-5 MINUTE MONOLOGUE, A 2-5 MINUTE POLE DANCE ROUTINE, AND READ AN AUDITION SIDE. WHILE THERE IS NUDITY IN THE PROJECT, NO NUDITY WILL BE REQUIRED AT THE AUDITIONS.

A 2-5 minute monologue AND pole dance routine? Yowser.

This could be fun though. Obviously the recession has driven play producers to cleverly mix blatant sexual exploitation with "art." I wish them luck.
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Monday, May 02, 2011

"Hey, Buddy - The News Is Up HERE."

THE NAKED HOST (Re-Release)
Webisodes
NON-UNION

Casting Director: Michael XXXXX
Shoot/Start Date: December 1, 2010
Pay Rate: $1,000.00 per episode
Location: L.A./Las Vegas

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: XXX-XXX-XXXX

*THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT.

IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ACTOR'S ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH EACH ACTOR SUBMISSION.

Major production company now casting for a multi-episode TV/Web series. This show requires that talent deliver information similarly to a news anchor and is *willing to appear on camera nude. Although the show's content and premise is completely different than www.nakednews.com, this site serves as good model for how talent will be integrated into the series. (You have to deliver information in a newsy style - naked - yet it is completely different than Naked News? I can't imagine...)

[ NAKED HOST ]
Looking for personable, funny, quick witted, and attractive women between the ages of 18 - 40. Certainly not for the timid or shy...NUDITY REQUIRED

18-40? Nice.
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