Friday, April 20, 2012

Fun! Silly! SEXY!

It's a birthday make-over! NR, NP started sending out fun and silly (just like the ladies this casting notice is looking for!) ads 10 years ago. Can you believe it? We can't (we don't think we look a day over 6 years old). But we thought we deserved a little sprucing up, anyway. We hope you enjoy the new layout.


* * * * *

3-4 actresses needed for fun, sexy, campy comedy
Date: 2012-04-13, 9:45AM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for 3-4 actresses for speaking roles in my upcoming movie. The shoot will take place over two weekends in late April/May. It will be a fun campy comedy (like this guys makes http://XXXXX). Must be able to be sexy on camera, not perfect body sexy necessarily, more fun personality sexy. Send a headshot/full-body shot, screen tests will happen in about a week. No full nudity required, but must be comfortable topless in a fun/silly/sexy way. (I don't know what that means.)

There is no pay, but lots of fun, food, and an opportunity to hone your acting skills with someone who is serious about making good campy movies. Previous videos on YouTube have over 150,000 views, so you'll get seen.

* Location: Brooklyn
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Girls, Girls, Girls

Casting Call - "Karina" (Williamsburg)
Date: 2012-04-19, 2:58PM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

A movie set in NYC that follows the lives of young teenagers as they enter summer in hopes of reckless fun

We are looking for actors and actresses that appear 16-19 in age
Nudity may be involved. (Oh let's not pretend you're not sure. Ladies - er, I mean young ladies - better get that bikini wax. Better yet, just focus on your school work instead, and stop noodling around on Craig's List. Ok?)

Send questions and headshots with resume if possible to

* Location: Williamsburg
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Royalties (Oh, let's not pretend this damn thing is ever going to make it off your hard drive, either.)

* * * * * * *

Amateur Females for Alternative, Fun Gigs (Manhattan) (Fun!)
Date: 2012-04-19, 2:32PM EDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]

Work with a professionals in the industry who worked/works with pro companies and amateur ones alike. We are NOT an fly by night or anything like that. this is strictly dealing with the companies and the producers. no middle-man crap lol. (Did you just "lol"?) Is this something of interest to you? if interested please reply with some photos and a number and best time to reach you. must be ok with nudity

will give you more info when you reply. thanks and looking forward to working together.

Note: because of some fakes replies (robots) and scamers .. please repply to this e-mail at XXXXX(at) gmail-com subject line; ad cl position. (Yes, we hate 'scamers,' so be sure to 'repply' correctly.)

Adam (And this next bit was "hidden" text:) CPAN modules specify such third-party software. Therefore installing them may not be as easy as other CPAN modules because one must first find and manually install the prerequisites. The aim of Module::ThirdParty is to provide basic information to installer shells

* Location: Manhattan
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Monday, April 16, 2012

OMG, You Guys! This Coulda Been My Big Break.

I got this email a couple weeks ago:

Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 12:15am
To: [That Hot Bitch Gabby]

Congrats,you have been selected for TWO great opportunities.

1) You have been selected to audition for the comedic project entitled QUICKDRAW as you submitted your resume/headshot on Casting Networks,Inc. Quickdraw is a family comedy/drama about foster homes and the life story of several adults that reflect on their youth in foster homes. The audition will take place Saturday April 7th,2012 at Ripley Grier studios. You will be provided with a monologue to read. The time for your audition will be emailed to you once you respond to this message....

So, at first I was all like, "Great!" And then...

2) You are ALSO invited to attend a large and extremely popular networking event that the Producer will be hosting at a restaurant in Midtown,NYC in which local media will be in attendance. At this event will be two TMZ photographers as well as entertainment reporters from the news channel New York 1 and 3 public relations reps from production companies. There will also be 2 casting directors that are currently ca! sting for General Hospital in L.A. All of these guests will be available to meet and ready to answer any of your questions,take your resumes/headshots,etc. This is a great opportunity to meet these individuals just please be dressed in nice, professional, attire/clothing. There will also be music provided by several dj's and free drinks the first hour. This will be a great way to go out and network with successful film/tv individuals while still enjoying the night as well with many actors and actresses. (Because there is NO better way to meet people for professional purposes than in a loud bar after a cocktail or two - am I right?) This event will be going from 9pm-2am on Saturday,March 31st. We already have many actors and actresses on the guest list so if you will be attending this networking event please confirm by emailing XXXXX at This event will be at a bar/restaurant on 51st and 10th ave. You may bring guests. Complete information will be provided once you confirm that you will be attending. Once you do,you will be placed on a guest list. Once again, email me (XXXXX) at to confirm. From- XXXXX (Assistant director)

And then I was all like, "Ugh. *eyeroll* No." So, this was my reply:

I'm happy to attend the audition on April 7. I have a matinee performance that day at 3, so I can come before 2 (I have a 2 o'clock call time in midtown), or after 5.

As for the "events," I find this all rather unorthodox. It's also a holiday weekend. So I won't be attending that. But like I said, I am happy to audition if this is for a legitimate project.

Thank you.

Guess what? I never heard back. Shocking.

Friday, April 06, 2012

I Got Friends In Strange Places

It's been too long! Gabby's been busy working as an actor. Can you believe it? Working. As an actor.

I know I promised I'd write more regularly. Oopsie! Maybe I should go into politics, instead?

On the upside - I was very happy to open an email from a bad-speller stranger today, addressing me as a "friend." She sure is one "hot" "friend" (who cares if she can't spell?)! How lucky am I?

Hello My Industry friends

I am really exicted [sic] for this Spring and Summer Projects and as promise I am staying in touch to let you know what on my calendar.

The Elite Image's Hottest Model Competition is around the coming register today if you can attend at WWW.AREYOUTHEHOTTESTMODEL.COM (Yes - the competition is around and coming! Register today!)

Also visit our talent partner Promise to Dream foundation at for talent resources.

Call me at 347-XXX-XXXX or email me at
Let’s stay in touch (Nah.)
Karen XXXXX- Elite Image International