Monday, January 31, 2011



Non-Union Feature Film
Producer: Greg XXXXX
Director: Charles XXXXX
Casting Director: Charles
Interview Dates: January 11-15

Callback Dates: Soon thereafter

Shoot/Start Date: March 1, 2011

Pay Rate:
Location: San Bernardino County and Los Angeles


An intelligent, character-based horror film. Ensemble cast. Storyline revolves around a discovery at an archeological site in New Mexico. Shooting in 3D in March
(Boobs! In 3DD!!! Genius.). NON-UNION.

female, 20s-30s. Latino. Doctoral candidate and seasoned researcher. Athletic, acerbic, hard-edged and impatient. Has a hidden agenda. TASTEFUL NUDITY, ECSTATIC DANCING & SIMULATED SEX SCENE. (Is that supposed to be 'exotic,' or do they really mean 'ecstatic'?)

female, 20s. Any ethnicity. Energetic and intelligent graduate student. Must be comfortable with poly-syllabic scientific speech. And must be comfortable in a blood-covered tank top!

female. 20s. Any ethnicity. Undergraduate. Spunky, competent, headstrong. Familiar with car repair. Simulated sex scene.

male. 20s. Any ethnicity. Undergraduate. Earnest, nice guy, and eventual man of action. Simulated sex scene.

[ MAX ]
male. 20s. Any ethnicity. Undergraduate. Cocky, wise-ass, oversexed and sexually frustrated. Physically fit.

[ DEREK ] male. 20s. Any ethnicity. Undergraduate. Carmen's reluctant co-conspirator.

[ PROF. JENSEN ] Female. 30s-40s. Any ethnicity. Leader of the dig. Tormented by past professional failings, she is under pressure to deliver a successful research experiment.

[ JOSE ]
male. 30s-50s. Latino. Handy-man. Skeptical of these academic types, he keeps to himself. Spanish speaking.

male, any age. Latino. Seeking graceful dancer.

[ DANCER ] Must play the flute.

Monday, January 24, 2011

You Like Me? You Really, Really Like Me? (Or Maybe You Just Like Searching For 'Naked Boobs'?)

Darlingest Readers,

Sometimes here at Chez NR/NP, Gabby is unhappy to find sad comments left by those who have taken offense to this little blog that is a Labor of Lust. Days like those make Gabby reach for the vodka.
But, sometimes there is also good news! Blogger added a statistics page so now Gabby can see how many of you stumble across this tiny, meager little site-that-could. And we're happy to announce that our readership is up! Way up! (Well, from what we can see, considering they didn't add the stats page until Summer 2010.)

What could be more fun that that, you ask??? Knowing what word searches have led some of you to NR/NP! I hope that everyone who Google-d or Bing-ed the following phrases found exactly what they were looking for:

complete nude rape scene
hairy girls exercising naked
naked boobs
boobs naked
simulated rape
grammar uncle leon
naked girls boobs 40 dd craigslist pic
"jt talent and casting"

Much Love,

Monday, January 17, 2011

"WANTED: Hospital Seeks Nursing Staff. Or Prostitues. Whichever."

Seeking an edgy actress for February in a short play ( Bklyn NY)
Date: 2011-01-09, 5:40PM EST
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Seeking a NYC actress (preferably Brooklyn/Bushwick/Williamsburg area
For rehearsing a short play we are working on to take to Washington DC for 4 days in February

We are a performance group- ( a non profit arts group of 30 year old men in Bushwick/brooklyn are doing a 3 night show in Washington DC on Feb 10, 11, and 12 called Adventures in The OK Skin Trade. 4 actors. A 25 minute piece.

Looking to fill a big role for a girl that we are looking for a cool as shit talented actress to be in it. If u are free and interested let me know and we will send u the script. We will rehearse 2 nights a week ( with a weekend day added possibly ) over the next 5 weeks.

we rehearse/live here in Brooklyn, but yes- we are taking the show to D.C. For 3 nights in Feb.

In DC we were invited to be a part of a festival so they are providing transportation and lodging fees for us. We will rehearse in Bushwick and in the Village and drink alcohol probably as we rehearse. It's a bizarre piece. (Sounds it.) The character we had u in mind for is "the matron" - a listless young woman of dubious trade ( something of a nurse or prostitute ) (Nursing is dubious? And akin to prostitution? I never knew...) addicted to doses of liquid opium, dressed in tassels (Where are the tassels placed? This might be an important point to clarify...), sequins, & garters of a bygone era, wears an eye patch, & a mysterious birth mark on her forehead. The other 3 characters are all men. Their names are "the baron", "the rustler", and "the auctioneer"....

We'll rehearse Thurs and Sun nights for the next 5 weeks which should suffice for a 20-25 minute play. No set, but quite elaborate costumes. Will send a script via email for consideration.

we are wild, ridiculous fine young gentlemen artists who do not care about a lot of the things some 'new' theatre people who have come to NYC to care about. (Like maintaining a professional, trustworthy working environment that is safe for females?) There's no payment aside for accommodation and credit for this. That being said, we might be good for your resume (we've got a legitimate and cool NYC Indy theatre cred) but more importantly we are smart, fucked up, sweet artists doing real fun stuff and it is always a positive life in art experience taking an adventure.

Respond with a resume and headshot. Please have a Wild spirit, risk taking capacity, open heart, and decent technique. Should we hold auditions they would be within the next week in a wild loft apartment in Bushwick off the Morgan stop L train.

P.s. -- an ability and interest in playing a role with fast-paced lines with great comic timing (yet also with sincerity when needed) is important.

Posted from my iPod touch using CraigsPro

* Location: Bklyn NY
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

I'm all for experimental theatre - good for you. But a good actress probably knows better than to audition in a sketchy loft apartment in Bushwick with a bunch of 30-something dudes. (I hope.)

PS - You wrote all that out on your iPod but couldn't be bothered to write the three-letter word "You"? That seems weird to me.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What? Whaaat?? WHAT???

Date: 2011-01-10, 10:49PM EST
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Major Network TV Senior Casting Director, in charge of casting for new television shows, seeks attractive female actresses or models that are in search of starring or supporting roles upon the successful completion of a "casting couch" interview. You MUST CONFIRM your that you understand the meaning of the "casting couch" interviewing process with me (otherwise no reply). Please send a face and full body photo, and CONTACT PHONE NUMBER with your email marked "NBC TV." All appointments will be scheduled via telephone. I look forward to your submissions.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $2000 to $5000 per episode

Well, at least you don't have to do an awkward monologue audition. *Whew*

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Bad Grammar

Audition for life is Life is Short Cherish Every Moment. A play about the effects of negative decisions which we make in our lives. (Like not using spell check on a professional email?) Non- Union $25 per performance+copy of video. December 8th 6pm sharp. and will be on Wednesdays- 6pm- 9pm and Sundays 5pm-8pm. Audition December 4 9 -2pm. At the Ujamaa Black Theater 300W 43rd Street by appt. only. Space is Limited so please reply as soon as possible. Also attach headshot and resume. . Showtime Saturday January 8 5pm and 8pm. Please answer questions and responsed to me as soon as possible.

Roles - Tiffany- Female Hispanic/Black/Cacausion Descent:20's- early 30's
Mike- -Female Black descent-20's
Reverend- Black/Caribean descent age ranging- 30's-50's
Grandma Female Black/Caribbean/hispanic descent- 30's-50+
Black:Male 20's- 35+
Tony Ton: Male Black/Caribbean Descent 20's
Latisha- Female 20s
Dwayne/Sweet D: Male Black/Caribbean/Hispanic Descent:20's-30s
CSE: Male Black/Caribbean Descent: 20s- 30's-drug dealer
Officer:Any Ethnicity 20s-30's
Mrs. Jameson- Any Ethnicity:-30's+
Uncle Leon/Aunt B: 30+ Male/Female Black or hispanic Descent.

Life is Short Cherish Every Moment

Audition- December 4th 9 am-2pm


Audition Role_____


Are you available for rehearsal Wednesday evenings and Sunday afternoon?_____

If casted for a different role in this production will that be a issue_____

IF casted for another role in another production will you commit this production?_____

Will It be difficult getting to rehearsal on the days above?_____

Just so the director can accommodate for as many people as he can. How many people do you think will be attending on your behalf. ( ex. Your friends/family) (What? Friends and family? To audition with me? This is a first.) _____

No matter how good the quality of your work is, one of the first rules of professionalism is to make sure all your correspondence is up to snuff. And technology makes it so easy for us! Just looking at this message without even touching the spell check button, I see a million little red squiggles. And yet... travesties abound. I hope their show went off without a hitch, and that all the Cacausion, hispanic and Caribean friends and family who responsed and were casted didn't have a issue.