Wednesday, December 16, 2009

They're Right - Not Being In It Will Probably Do Wonders For My Career.

KILL DATE: 12/18.2009 (Maybe we should put it out of its misery now?)

JOB TITLE: Casting Call For Play

ORGANIZATION: The pinkhandbag Casting

UNION: Non-union

LISTING: We are now casting for the play the vampire with the pink handbag (First they sparkle. Now they carry kicky accessories? What's next?), we are looking for talented people. We are seeking actors who are available at least 2-3 times a week for rehearsal, during the months of January and February. There are straight roles in this play and there are also gay roles (I see: sparkles>handbags>salon school...). The gay roles do no have any physical scenes at all (Then is that even technically a 'role'?). The play can help to promote your acting career (Even If I'm not actually in it?). This is a no pay role but you will gain experience and exposure (But wait - if I'm not even "physically" in the show... then how...?). Lead characters will be featured in all advertisements, this role can open doors for you. Send clear photos and also credentials, anything that you think is relevant to

I am so confused!

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Daisy, Daisy, Give Me Your Answer Do, I'm Half Crazy All For The Love Of - OH MY GOD, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

Feature Film

Producer: Esther XXXXX
Director: Rolfe XXXXX
Casting director: Mark XXXXX
Start Date: April 3rd, 2010 (7-week shoot)
Location: Los Angeles
There is pay. Above scale for lead.

A beautiful, intelligent woman, 18-30, about to embark on a journey through space and time to the farthest reaches of the universe and beyond! She has converted a trans-dimensional blimp into a floating television studio (what, is this like the 'Barbie Dream Space Blimp'?) that will record her sexy adventures through space and time. (Partial nudity required) (Because an intelligent woman in charge of intergalactic travel still needs to create her own soft-core porn.)

A government official (40’s-50’s) that is in charge of the military operation to control the technology that Jessica has worked so hard to keep out of the hands of the government.

A handsome, intelligent scientist that works for Jessica running the blimp and the computers on board. Ferris does not trust the government or anyone in power. (Partial nudity required)

A sarcastic and lovely telepathic woman, 18-30, who can tap into past lives and communicate with spiritual beings in the new dimensions the crew discovers on their journeys. She is also empathic and can feel the emotions (among other things) of those around her. She is like a human antenna which is usually a great gift but can sometimes be a heavy burden. (Partial nudity required)

A shy but sexy computer expert, 18-30, that Jessica has placed in charge of the broadcasting show onboard the blimp. She tries to overcome her shy nature as feelings develop between her and Dr. Blue. Gwen can always be counted on in a life-threatening situation to come up with a solution under pressure

The inventor of the time travel machine that gets installed in Jessica's blimp. In his 30’s, Dr. Blue is a handsome man who often leaps before looking which gets the crew into trouble. (Partial nudity required)

Dr, Blue's assistant and as smart as she is uptight. In her 20’s, this gorgeous scientist desperately needs to loosen up and fortunately for her has many opportunities during the blimp's travels. (Partial Nudity required)

Storyline: Jessica Arsen (Arse-n? Puh-lease. So basically you made an "intelligent" astronaut character all about ass. Stay classy, Esther & Rolfe...) leads a group of intrepid scientists through space and time on a series of sexy adventures. There are run-ins with aliens, monsters and even a little paranormal activity along the way!

Anyone else feel airsick???