Monday, August 22, 2011

Meet Mr. Cheapy McCheapington:

Talented? Work from home. (Brooklyn )

Date: 2011-08-21, 2:56PM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Seeking one person who can work from their home and meet in their home to assist an executive:

Flexible hours..excellent side work for the right person
Please reply with a quick description and recent photo.

* Location: Brooklyn
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $20 per hour

My momma didn't raise no fool. You want me to "work" from my home and "meet" with you there... for $20/hr? Are you insane? Ladies - if you want a sugar daddy that's fine, but come on. You can get more than this through a temp agency - and you probably won't get herpes.

And yes, this item was listed on CL under "talent gigs."

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

If Boobs Could Kill

Hello! I'm giving a special cocktail-soaked shout-out to a group of lovely readers in our fair capital city, Washington DC! How are you? When a special friend (doesn't she look fab on her tiny skirted bathing suit?) told me you have been faithfully reading, I instantly sobered up thinking: "Poor dears! Gabby has been sidetracked with beach parties, and patio parties, and birthday parties..." But she hasn't forgot about you! Not one bit. So here's something to chew on (nothing fancy - just some good, old-fashioned get-naked-for-a-handshake good times) while I go make another pitcher of sangria, and have Giuseppe help dust the sand off my body. Cheers!

* * * * *

KIM JONG KILL (Love it.)
Student Film
Columbia University Film MFA short film

Director: Jim XXXXX
Producer: Ben XXXXX
Co-Producer: Jessica XXXXX
Casting Director: Jessica XXXXX
Interview Dates: March 27, 2011
Shoot Dates: May 13 - 16, 2011
Location: New York, NY



[ SUN ]
early 20s, Asian female, soft spoken, extremely sweet, but with the capacity to be a deadly killer. When Kim Jong Il falls into her lap she will do whatever it takes to kill him. Some nudity required.

20s, female, any ethnicity, beautiful, with a wild side. Loves to party and not to do what she’s told. She works as an exotic dancer because she enjoys the thrill of teasing men and NOT giving them what they want. Some nudity required.

20s, 30s, or 40s, Asian male, tough guy. Always wears sunglasses so no one can ever see where he’s looking. If he’s speaking to you consider your life over.

It's OK, you guys. They're getting naked for a good cause - assassination. Nudity & murder are like the chocolate & peanut butter of the film world. Mmmm... so good. Which reminds me... Giuseppe...?

There you are.