Ever wonder how glamorous it would be to ditch your cushy 9-to-5 and follow your dream of becoming a star? Well, wonder no more. Here's a real taste of what the world has to offer the struggling performer. So, go grab a free soda from the office kitchen, sit back in your rolly chair, and laugh at all us poor fools out there without 401Ks or health insurance - who actually (sometimes) consider auditioning for these crazy projects.
females for a job on "Project R," a reality show. Casting director
states: "This position requires that these females be exclusively
devoted to their employer, however, this is not an escort position. They
will not flirt or lead another person on or suggest or engage in any
inappropriate behavior. They will be an extension of the employer's
image. While utilizing gorgeous, talented, and smart females as part of
his inner circle, the employer's image will ultimately be as it always
has been and what it is: an honest, successful engaging person who
everyone wants to do business with. These females do not define the
employer in any way, rather they are a 'branding' tool. Applicants must
possess personality and an ability to fit in with the other female
employees and be
part of the team, working together to enhance their employer's image as
directed at all times. Additional responsibilities include hostessing
dinner parties and charitable events, accompanying their employer in
public at all times to dinners, events etc. College degrees and work
experience in 'high end' social concierge areas are a plus. Seeking
independent, well-spoken, trustworthy, and highly motivated females who
want to develop their careers to the next level. Positive training in
all key areas will be provided, as well as opportunities to expand and
elevate themselves within other business areas, including merger &
acquisition areas, global financing, deal making, independent film
financing, and other areas of production."
REHEARSAL AND PRODUCTION DATES & LOCATIONS
Shoot dates & location
COMPENSATION & UNION CONTRACT DETAILS
passing a 90-day trial period, an official position will be offered
which will exceed an average $150,000/yr., plus all living, travel and
wardrobe expenses. They will travel with their employer on his personal
jet, yachts, and various other modes of transportation. Wardrobe, hair,
spa, nails, etc. will be provided.
WHAT? And you said there's no sex, right? Right???
Female: (Lead) to work with a very high-powered businessman and become part of his branding within the world of the wealthy and powerful, will work among a who’s who among many fields; seeking beautiful, hot, fit, classy, smart, high-end model types who love living life to the fullest, must enjoy travel, strong worth ethic, able to work full time (long days and weeks). Casting personnel state: "These females will be screened not only for their beauty, sexiness, class, social skills, etc.; they must also have qualifications to be a personal assistant."
Seeking submissions nationwide/worldwide
AUDITION & SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS
Talent must be able to provide their own transportation to audition in
Los Angeles. Talent must be totally unattached (i.e. single, no
boyfriends or kids). Talent must be willing to travel and live at
employer's homes/mansions and be extremely reliable. ("We didn't hire you to be a 'person' with friends and family! We hired you to be a 'thing' - MY 'thing'!")
...these ladies have strong socio-political views:
[ BIG BREASTED STRIPPER ] SEARCHING FOR WOMAN WITH D CUP OR BIGGER BREASTS. SHE IS A STRIPPER IN A CLUB IN QUEENS. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH TOPLESS NUDITY. After her dance, she gives advice about sex to the "skinny girls"...1 speech, 1 scene (29) (Ah yes, sex for skinny girls! So much different than sex for non-skinny girls... is it?)
[ NANDINI ] SEARCHING FOR NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN. MID 20S TO 50S. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY. She is another member of the theatre company, and she talks to the group about women who are shamed for having their period...2 speeches, at least 1 scene (81)(Are there women who are ashamed of having their periods? Do they mean 'ashamed' or 'annoyed'?) [ AUDRE ] SEARCHING FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN BUTCH / STUD LESBIAN ACTRESS. MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY. She is another member of the theater company and she talks to the group about the injustice done to 4 young black lesbians who were convicted of gang assault and received long sentences in New York State prisons for defending themselves against street harassment...1 speech and at least 1 scene. (Preach! Now take your top off!)
I can't remember where this came from or why there is no payment information. Sorry! But I think it's safe to say that none of my readers would have wanted to apply...