Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Vintage AND Post-Apocalyptic? No Problem.

Casting new Feature film called Zenith

looking for featured Extras NON Union for SAT 8AM

JT Talent and Casting along with Frank XXXXX will be casting actors all week for a new Feature film

We are looking for Actors male and female 21 and over NON Union to play in Vip scene sat DEC 20TH

Actors will all be featured and will have a chance to get on IMDB (Is it just me or are these "offerings" in place of real compensation getting lamer and lamer?)
You will have to DRESS Vintage and post apocalyptic like back to the future

A costume designer will be contacting you and if you comit
pleasee show up ill send samples how to dress

This will be a great time and there will be some celebrities and special guests

If you are interested please email your pic name And number and the casting Director or wardrobe person will get back to you

You must be ok to Shoot sat Dec 20TH from 8AM to 6PM there is no pay But Exposure and so much more (liiiike...???)

Call JT for Info we only Need 30 people
JT 646-XXX-XXXX

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

When A Thesaurus Can Help You Seem More Sensitive

Casting new TV Show staring willie demeo Vinny Pastore (sopranos) needs Soccer Mom Type

Tuesday Dec 2nd at country club casting females 30 to 50 non union to play jap Jewish long island mom to settle dispute between mobsters.

Auditions will be from 8am to 10am if you get picked will shoot same day (Wow, that's... weird. So in order to simply audition I will have needed to clear my whole day?)

Country club 14TH st and 8TH ave across from supermarket

No pay but great Exposure and chance to meet amazing Director and big Actors (There's no such thing as big roles, only... wait...)

Please email pictures tonight with number

JT 646-XXX-XXXX

You Could Have Just Said He's Latino

Casting Maury show

talent that Looks like the women and kid (his latino not asian)in the picture attached and is available to work tomorrow for a reeenactment for the maury show.
jt
[picture of woman was inserted here]


Please have the young Hispanic male look as young as possible. He cannot be under the age of 18 because there will be sexual scenes, but please keep in mind that The Maury Show is daytime television, so it will not be vulgar like Springer.
jt2
[picture of young man was inserted here]

The woman will have to be conformable in a bra and underwear (Um, she probably is since she probably wears them each day - unless you mean ONLY a bra and underwear... that's different) and both available for tomorrow Tuesday at 10:00 a.m.

Thank you!

No. No, thank YOU.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

State Your Name And Ethnicity, Please.

Union/Non-Union
'The Marine's Wife'
HD FEATURE FILM Patricia XXXXX (production manager) is casting, a dramatic feature about a man fighting a war away and losing his wife at home. Shoot starts (tentatively) on December 1st, 2008 in New York.

Seeking:
Marine Private James Brooks - late 20s, male/caucasian
Latoya Mendez - 18-25, female- latina/ethnic (curvy)- partial nudity
Juan Mendez - 50s, hispanic/ male
Yolanda Mendez- late 30s, dark skin, dark hair/ female
Jose Mendez- teen, hispanic/male
Peter Brooks- 50's, balding caucasian/male
Cindy- 18-25 female
Greek Kim- 18-25 female
Asian Mindy- 18-25 female
African American Monica- 18-25 female
Malibu Barbie, Typhoid Mary, Irish Murphy and Tokyo Rose - Indian Americans, late 20's (see audition date for these roles ONLY below).

Indian American Auditions will be held Tuesday, November 18th (What? Why are the Indian American auditions being segregated?)

5P-8P and Wednesday, November 19th 5P-7P at XXXXX STUDIOS, XXXXX Ave (Between 35th and 36th Streets). If unable to attend, send pix & résumés ASAP to XXXXX.com. **Prepare to cold read. **
--
Patricia XXXXX
Unit Production Manager
XXXXX Productions

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Talk About Moonlighting...

The Real Chinatown
Feature Film, Non-Union
Union Status Non-Union
Rate good pay / credit

Submissions Due By 1/1/0001 (Hmmm, seems a little after-the-fact)
LEIGHA / Non-Union / Featured / Female / Caucasian,Hispanic / 28-35
undercover cop / stripper
Rate: good pay / credit

Don't laugh - the right pair of pasties can completely transform a woman so she is totally unrecognizable for her job as an undercover (or, under-not-much-cover) cop.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

More Evidence That Boobs Are Scary:

UNTITLED ESCAPE MOVIE

Long Island Films is casting an untitled horror/slasher feature film about three escaped inmates from an asylum that attack a random house (They attack a harmless publishing company?! Oh... wait...). XXXXX DiBernardino & XXXXX Napolitano, casting. Shooting begins early to mid-Oct.

Seeking—Ben: mid-to-late 20s, muscular meat-head type; Diane: big-breasted blonde (Is there any other kind?), not the brightest (so many cliches!), topless nudity required; Karen: early to mid-20s, tall and slender, sexual nudity required; Michelle: late 20s-early 30s, tall and slender; David: small, rugged, good build. Note: This film will be brutal, gory, violent, and explicit; no full nudity required.

Auditions will be held by appt. only Sept. 27 & 28. Email pix, résumés, and/or other reels/clips to XXXXX.com. No pay, but travel and lodging provided.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Whatever It Takes, Indeed.

‘WHATEVER IT TAKES’

XXXXX Jackson Films (prod.) is casting Whatever It Takes, a DV feature film about a little girl who is kidnapped by a psychotic man. XXXXX Jackson, dir. Shooting begins mid-Oct. in NYC; exact dates TBD.

Seeking—Prostitutes: females, 21-35, any ethnicity, sexy shape, partial nudity required including thongs and bikinis, possible sexual situations, no nudity at auditions.

Also seeking crew—DP, Cameraman, and Boom Operator.

Send pix, résumés, and email address to “Whatever It Takes” Casting, XXXXX St., Ste. 4C, Brooklyn, NY XXXXX, Attn: XXXXX Jackson. Absolutely no drop-offs. No pay, but copy, credit, and meals provided.

Monday, September 22, 2008

This Could Be Unsanitary

Casting for female models Actress 21 and over some exceptions for new pilot Bikini Kitchen 26 Episodes

Come check out the trailer staring Stormy Daniels and Halla (Sure you don't mean "Jackie Daniels" and "Challah?" Har.)

The casting will take place sat sept 20th from 230pm to 530pm

TELEPHONE BAR & GRILL 149 Second Avenue between 9th and 10th st. in Manhattan.

Ladies please email your photos and numbers and everyone who wants to audition must show up

Dress sexy for fitting and bring pictures if you have Director Dan Frank of the Sit Down man will be there with JT Talent and Casting Looking Over the models,Actress for the show . (That sentence made my head hurt.)

Please RSVP

It's Not Your Mamma's Cooking
Starring Stormy Daniels and Halla
Bikini Kitchen
Head chef Halla will be cooking up a variety of good food for all of our viewers to learn how to make. As Stormy, helps out Halla prepare the food and makes some drinks. (Ow!)
Due out Jan. 2009
Upward Rising Development
ITN Distribution
JT Talent and Casting
It's Not Your Mamma's Cooking!

Um... Pay???

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Best Soldiers Have The Biggest "Bazookas"

I, Creator
Feature Film, Non-Union

Union Status Non-Union
Rate 1.) Meals provided by the production. 2.) Screen credit for your work in the production. 3.) A copy of the final cut of the DVD. 4.) An invite to the screening party. (Um, not to get technical - but those aren't "rates".)

Synopsis
This is the fabled Frankenstein story retold with new twists, turns, technology, and characters for the twenty-first century.

GINA / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / Caucasian / 25-35
Gina is Robert’s ex-girlfriend with long black-hair and black-eyes with an olive complexion in her twenties. Gina is of average height of around five feet four inches tall with a slim attractive figure. The role requires strong acting skills. (Sounds it!)
Wardrobe: She wears blue jeans, sneakers, and a blouse
Rate: NO PAY, but screen credit, a copy of the final DVD, and invite to screening party (Really??? You mean after all the hard work I'll do for you - being slim and petite and acting real good - you'll even deign to let me attend the screening of my own work? THANK YOU!)

GAIL STORM (Get it?)/ Non-Union / Lead / Female / Caucasian / 21-30
Gail is a long black-haired and black-eyed extraterrestrial female cyborg with fair skin and in her twenties who looks human and stands well over six feet tall. She is built like a Barbie doll and well-endowed. She was made to be the ideal female super soldier (huge breasts are imperative to being a top-notch soldier! They don't slow you down or get in your way AT ALL) and scientist by her creator, Dr. Pavlov on the planet, Delta Four. Strong acting skills and stage fighting required.
Wardrobe: A black coverall cat suit with matching boots and gloves, an ammunition belt, and a laser rifle. Gail also wears army fatigues and a backpack for hiking, business suit, blouse and blue jeans a blouse, high heels and sneakers for other scenes. (Ice skates and bridesmaid dress sold separately.)
Rate: A copy of the final DVD, screen credit, meals, and invite to screening party (She gets to go to the party, too?! What fun!)

SURVIVALIST / EX-DELTA FORCE INSTRUCTOR / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / All Ethnicities / 25-45
He is an ex-Delta Force instructor standing 5'6'. Robert hires him to train Angela and Gail. The survivalist was convicted of rape, escaped jail and the USA, and admitted back to the USA for rescuing an ambassador’s daughter. He meets his match with Angela and Gail. They are terminator-like indestructible soldiers. Robert sends Angela and then Angela and Gail to him to test Angela’s firmware never to kill a human no matter how evil they are and to protect humans from other machines.

The role requires a STRONG BACKGROUND IN STUNTS, MARTIAL ARTS, stage fighting, and strong acting (sure - but only if you'll invite me to the screening party!). If you have a stunt reel, I'd like to see it. We need to get as close to exact height we are asking for as much as possible for these roles.
Wardrobe: Jungle fatigues, backpack, hunting knife, and a water canteen.
Rate: Deferred payment (D'oh!)

TERRORISTS / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / Middle Eastern / 20-35
Must have dummy pistols and look like terrorists. The roles require strong acting skills and have dialogue. (Again, yes, my goodness - it seems like "acting skills" are of the highest priority...)
Wardrobe: Street clothes.
Rate: A copy of the final DVD, screen credit, meals, an invite to the screening party (The more the merrier! Except for that survivalist guy - who wants him when you can party with terrorists?)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I'm Not A Dental Technichian, But I play One On The Streets Of NYC

PARK AVENUE DENTAL SPA is creating a team of attractive, sexy and classy female and male models to promote its upscale Dental Spa.

ATTIRE: Fitted dental lab coat, which will be provided by the Dental Spa. (Nothing inspires confidence like model-actors in figure-flattering pseudo-uniforms representing skilled specialists.)

DUTIES: Working teams of 2 models will introduce themselves and our Dental Spa to upscale people (sounds like discrimination) and schedule appointments OUTSIDE on Park Avenue.

OFFER: The appointments will be for the new patient to receive:
· Professional Dental Whitening
· Dental Cleaning and Polishing
· Dental Examination
A $1000 package, for ONLY $99. (What a fantastic deal - this ridiculously discounted package doesn't worry me or smack of illegitimacy in the least! I warmly invite them to stick sharp objects in my mouth!)

This proven offer along with the right team of models executing the promotion will result in numerous new patients generated. (So many words! I love words! Please, use as many as you can, needlessly, and spell them however you wish.)

REQUIREMENTS: YOU must be attractive, have good teeth, er, breasts - no, wait, we mean TEETH! (and breasts) (we will help improve them for free; see compensation), articulate well, and be outgoing and sociable. therefore, we want models [both male and female] that are friendly and joyful. (Joyful? No problem - pass the N2O!)

EMAIL YOUR RESPONSE: email your photos (both head shots and full body shots) and contact information (telephone number, email address, etc).

COMPENSATION:
· Part Time Position - days and hours flexible.
· Base Salary: $10.00/hour + $20.00 per new patient generated. Earning YOU up to $100.00/hour.
· As being part of our promotional team of models YOU WILL also receive:
1.FREE DENTAL WHITENING
2.FREE DENTAL CLEANING & POLISHING
3.FREE DENTAL EXAMINATION

Thanks,
When you email please say XXXXX Talent and Casting sent you and ask for XXXXX

Remmeber we take between 15% and 20 %

Let's see... 15% times 32 teeth... that's... hey, wait a minute...

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

In A Valley With 'The Alley' Is A Druggy With The Dragon

‘CONTROL THE DRAGON’

Amuck Duck Films is casting Control the Dragon, a DV fantasy/horror short film about an adventure-seeking college student who, despite her boyfriend’s warning, explores the haunting myths of “the Alley” and finds herself under the mind control of the Alley’s cult leader, who keeps the dwellers of the Alley under his control with “The Dragon.” Anthony XXXXX, prod.-asst. dir.; Jerry XXXXX, dir.-editor-asst. prod. Shooting Oct.-Nov.

Seeking—Samantha: female, 18-30, adventurous, wide-eyed, must be able to fight for your life and deal with the evils of the Alley (Uh, is 'The Alley' real? Because I'm not sure I can deal with the evils of 'The Alley'.), LEAD; Ghost/Cult Leader: male, mid-20s to mid-40s, average build, LEAD; Eric: male, 18-27 (that is a mighty specific age range), Samantha’s boyfriend, keeper of the secrets of the Alley; Cop 1: male, 20s; Cop 2: male or female, 20s-40s; Druggy 1: male, 20s-40s, tall, medium to muscular build; Druggy 2: male, tall, medium to muscular build; Druggy 3: female, hot-looking junkie (Woo hoo! Hot junkies!); Married Couple: male and female, 30s-50s; Samantha’s Roommate: female, 18-27, brief topless nudity required for murder scene (Of course - because no young woman ever dies clothed. That's like, a law of nature); Journalism Professor: male, 25-45, glory-stealing meddler. Also seeking—Druggy Extras. Note: All roles listed are speaking roles. Druggies are mystic, moody, timeless, and loyal to their leader, but always in need of a fix. All roles require special FX makeup, and may need to execute staged horrific acts (Oh, wow. You mean, like, 'act'? Could you be more specific?).

Auditions will be held by appt. only in NYC. Email pix & résumés, with contact info, to XXXXX.com. For more info and questions, email XXXXX.com. No pay, but credit and meals provided.

Friday, August 22, 2008

I'll Skip This One - I'm Waiting For 'Black Veil 7: Sanguines On Ice!'

‘TALES OF THE BLACK VEIL 6...‘

Nightforce International Productions is casting Tales of the Black Veil 6: Sanguines on Stage. Rod XXXXX, exec. prod.-dir.; John XXXXX, writer-dir.; XXXXX Warlocke (Cute! His last name is Warlocke! Awww...), head writer. Runs Nov. 20-23 at the Producers Club Grand Theater, 358 W. 44th St. (at Ninth Ave.), NYC.

Seeking—Alex: young man whose wife Annie has a strange scarf around her neck (That role is so me! I have strange scarves I could wear around my neck! I was MADE for this role!); Therapist: helps out Annie with her nervousness about marrying Alex; Nemesis: vampire with a strong sense of justice and a fatal way of meting it out; Carnal: sleazebag neighbor of Nemesis, may have abused his daughter; Darius Isaac Chamberlain: uber-snooty artist/gallery owner, will wear a leotard; Darius’ Assistant: Darius’ soon to be fired assistant, very nervous; Vamp: female vampire who is hit on by a lush; Dorian: vampire friend of Vamp; Blaine: vampire, suave, quick-thinking, very charming; Sylvia: Blaine’s vampire roommate, has a human boyfriend; Malky: Blaine’s other vampire roommate, think Pinky from Pinky and the Brain as a vampire; Cop: looking for a missing girl, finds a lot more (Like the Fountain of Youth? Spare change in the sofa? tell me!); Pizza Guy: serving food, becomes food; Victim: spends most of the show tied up; Sammael: vampire, sired by Praxys; Annicia: female vampire, student of Angelica; Angelica: female vampire, mentor of Annicia; Praxys: lord of the clan, has a long history with the Hawthorne family; Melana: vampire, pursued by vampire hunters; Simon Hawthorne: patriarch of the family of vampire hunters; Victor Hawthorne: eager scion of the family of vampire hunters; Jonas: human ally of vampires; Anna: Simon’s wife, made a sacrifice to maintain peace with the vampires; Various Other Roles.

Email pix & résumés to XXXXX.com and XXXXX.com. For more information, visit www.XXXXX.com. Possible pay, plus copy provided.

Ok, I count 10+ characters and the largest stage at the Producer's Club, um, isn't that large. Nor is the back stage area. I say, they must be legitimate vampires - hanging upside down in the wings from up high - if they are to fit everyone in that space.

Monday, August 11, 2008

If They're Naked - Then Where Is The "Fashion"?

Black male models needed for fashion nude shoot (nyc)
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Date: 2008-08-11, 8:47AM EDT

Photographer looking to shoot fashion nudes of the hottest new black male models in nyc.
Great way to add new pics to your port.
This should be your 1st photoshoot and you must have a slim, cut up body with abs for this shoot.
Requirements
ages 19-27 only
Lightskin black males
tall 5'10 and up
must be comfortable shooting nudes

send pics/face/body/age,ht,wt

NON PAYING GIG
PICS FROM SHOOT

* Location: nyc
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Maybe they'll be modeling wallets? Hats? Belts? Socks...?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I Wonder What The Moral Of This Sermon Is?

‘SATANIC SERMONS’

Gabriel XXXXX (prod.), in association with Stage 13, is casting Satanic Sermons, a performance piece that is part of a new ongoing cabaret series. The piece is a stylized sermon-style act that runs approx. five minutes (definitely not a Catholic service). Rehearses and opens Aug. 15 in the Union Square area in NYC.

Seeking—Little Devil: any age, any ethnicity, little person or dwarf.

Auditions/meeting will be held by appt. only in July in NYC. To schedule an appt., email pix & résumés to XXXXX.com. Pay, plus possibility of extension into full show provided.

I guess on earth you get 15 minutes, but in hell only 5 - unless you get extended. Interesting.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Souls For Sale: $300 - Cheap!

ACTRESSES NEEDED FOR DAYTIME TV (NYC)
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Date: 2008-07-15, 2:25PM EDT

If you think you can get married men to cheat on there (I think you mean "their") wifes and girlfriends, then we have a job for you. A national TV show is looking to add new SEXY DECOYS to work with there (It's "THEIR", dammit!) TEAM. This is a non union gig but will be steady work (once to twice a week). You must have that "stripper / playmate" look. Look between 18 - 25, be reliable able to take direction well. Pay is $200 a day and if you are able to bust him (No pun intended! Ok, maybe pun intended) you get a $100 bonus. (What is that - like, a bounty for cheaters? That makes me feel gross inside...)

Send head shots and body shots with your contact information to be booked for an audition. Taping starts in August.

Good luck, and we will see you there (Finally, you got it right.)!!!!

Location: NYC

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 200 -300 A DAY

I've got your sexy decoys, right here:

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Actor Reads Casting Notices... Actor Gets Annoyed.

‘KIDS GO TO THE WOODS...KIDS GET DEAD’ (What, is this written by Sling Blade?)

Darkstar Entertainment is casting Kids Go To The Woods…Kids Get Dead, an original feature-length HDV horror film. Michael XXXXX, prod. Shooting Sept. 6-10, 13-16, 20 & 21.

Seeking—Casey: female, 18-29, buoyant girl-next-door (Hmmm... I wonder what attributes - physical attributes - she has that make her 'buoyant'?), LEAD; Scott: 18-29, Casey’s brother, loveable dork, LEAD; Derrick: 18-29, all-American, athletic; Tom: 18-29, wise-cracking jock, some nudity and simulated sex required; Heather: 18-29, gum-cracking prom queen, some nudity and simulated sex required; Robin: 18-29, wholesome cheerleader, some nudity and simulated lesbian sex (Jackpot!) required; Jill: 18-29, wise-cracking outsider, Robin’s girlfriend, some nudity and simulated lesbian sex; Lloyd: 40-65, creepy shop owner, weathered; Sheriff Jones: 40-50; Deputy Sampson: 30-39, dim-witted younger cop; Mom and Dad: 45-60, 1950s-type parents.

Auditions will be held by appt. only mid-July at PS122 in NYC. To schedule an appt., email pix & résumés, phone number, email address, and links to reels/websites to XXXXX.com. No pay, but copy, credit, meals, travel, and lodging provided.

3 Naked women. Only 1 naked man. *sigh*

Faster Than Due Process! More Powerful Than A Motion To Dismiss!

‘ZERO TOLERANCE’

Hunter Productions is casting Zero Tolerance. A burned-out D.A. takes the law into his own hands as he goes up against dangerous villains of the criminal underworld, but is soon faced with more deadly sinister characters. Zero Tolerance is a fast-paced Batman-style story (a cartoon?) filled with three-dimensional characters (oh... I guess not a cartoon...) and surprise heroes. Leon XXXXX, dir. Shooting begins late summer in various locations on Long Island, NY.

Seeking—Actors: male and female, all ages, all ethnicities, all types.

Send pix & résumés to XXXXX Productions, XXXXX, NY 11701. No pay provided.

I've been waiting for the first lawyer-superhero! I wonder how exorbitant his rates are...

Friday, May 30, 2008

I'll Have What She's Having - But Since It's Happy Hour, Make Mine A Double!

Erotica in 12 Shots (Ha - "shots". It's like a double entendre... read on...)
Student Film, Non-Union

Union Status: Non-Union
Run(Usage): School project with possibilty of entering in festivals if all goes well. Will be part of a trilogy of shorts.
Rate: No pay. Would provide happy hour drinks if you could stay until the end of the shoot. This will be shot in a day. I will also provide a dvd copy of the project once it is completed.

Callback Note: Will call you by phone on or before June 2. Please leave a contact phone number.

Synopsis: Life is an erotic journey—from birth to death. Using close-ups, I will show people’s expressions as they get on the verge or orgasm. The shot will alternately show males and females and chronologically from their teens through old age. I will recreate the stages of life on screen. It will also alternately show them in bed and doing normal daily activities, all having the same “verge-of-orgasm” look

Project Notes: No nudity, but will create an illusion of nudity on screen. Part of each role will be lying on a black bed faking orgasm (Apparently life is a "faked" erotic journey for some...), the shot will only be from shoulders up. So, nothing covering the shoulders to create an illusion of nudity. The other scenes would appear fully-clothed. This is a black and white, silent short.

Audition Note: No audition required, but would like to briefly meet with the performer in person on or before June 2 in Manhattanso that I can explain the project thoroughly.

Role: FEMALE 3 / Non-Union / UNKNOWN_ProjectExtrasRoleType_CODE_OF_2 / Female / All Ethnicities / 25-35. Should be comfortable with having close up shot faking orgasm.

Wardrobe: Unspecified. No nudity but will create an illusion of nudity

Rate: No pay. Will provide copy of project upon completion.

I like how they will pay you with cocktails after faking an orgasm - that's priceless! Usually it happens th other way around, no? And they're not even full-priced drinks - they're happy hour drinks! If I were you, I'd ask be sure to ask for top shelf...

Friday, May 23, 2008

Will He/She Carry A Rainbow-Colored Whip?

‘FIERCIANA JONES...'

The Stupes (prod.) are casting Fierciana Jones and the Quest for Electric Youth, a gay parody of Indiana Jones. Scott XXXXX and Shadee XXXXX, prods. Rehearses Mon.-Wed. evening June & July with a full week of dress rehearsals; runs in August.

Seeking—Feliciana Jones: gay version of Indiana Jones; Chewbitcha/Sarah: Chewbitcha is a Chewbacca-masked woman, Sarah is a Nazi, soprano voice a plus; Meowbles: female, sexy feline woman, romantic, sexual, mousy (Hahaha - get it? A mousy cat!), wears costume and makeup from Cats; Tim/Boy: male, fight scenes, comedic bits, speaking role; Steve/Ninja/Boy: male, fight scenes, comedic bits, non-speaking; Ahmed/Ninja/Boy: male, fight scenes, comedic bit, non-speaking. Note: Do not apply if you are turned off by offbeat, politically incorrect humor such as South Park or Strangers with Candy. (How about if I'm turned off by poorly thought out, half-baked 'parodies'?)

Auditions will be held XXXXX NYC. No pay but credit provided.

I don't recall there being any ninjas, Chewbaccas or large, she-cats in the Indiana Jones series. And I think I would have remembered that...

Thursday, May 08, 2008

I Love Commercials With A 'Strip Club' Feel!

Video Shoot and Commercial Auditions Tommorrow 5-5-08! (Midtown)
Reply to: XXXXX.com
Date: 2008-05-04, 8:58PM EDT

Music Video Shoot and Commercial Auditions Tommorrow! XXXXX at 12:00 P.M. sharp! @ Krystals: 79-21 Queens Blvd. Sexy and elegant females (all types, 18-40 or signed consent) needed for video shoot and auditions for upcoming projects including an exotic car commercial (Ferrari) and music videos. Arrive video ready, including hair and makeup (done), and wardrobe with a stripper club feel to it. (Strip club feel and elegant? I think that's a tall order.) Paid Compensation. For further information contact Vaughn at XXXXX.com. Eligibility T.B.D. solely by client.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

I mean, let's face it - what can't strippers sell???

All Work And No Pay

Lead Actress 30-45 years old, short film on May 10. Urgent! (TriBeCa)
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Date: 2008-05-04, 10:04PM EDT

Sorry for the last minute post, but I need an actress for this short film of 4-6 minute. It's an one day shooting project on May 10th. But you need to read the script, come up with a character analysis and compare with my script analysis during the week.

Please send me your resume and head shot ASAP! Thanks. No pay but lunches. Non-union.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

You have to do some reading, write a "report" (character analysis) to be "graded" (compared), and all you get is lunch? Sounds a heck of a lot like school, if you ask me.

And what's with the writing assignment - whatever happened to old fashioned auditioning???

Ok, fine, I'll do it - but only if I get to make out with the school's star quarterback, afterward.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The Character Descriptions Alone Are Worth The Price Of Admission

This is from the Equity website - just the character breakdowns:

SAFE — Equity Principal Auditions

Studio Dante
New York, NY

LOA-NYC

Van:
Late 20s – early 30s. Smart in a self-destructive way. Has a rough charm that people often find attractive. Dangerous and endearing. No stranger to pain. A cool exterior on a violent soul.

Ginger:
Mid-20s. Fearless, or at least not afraid of what she already knows. Used to getting attention from men. Determined not to let anything get too close. Fierce. Independent. Eyes on the horizon, looking for home.

Muzzy:
Late 20s – early 30s. Bear-like. Powerful. Thoughtful. Savage. A victim of first impressions. Intuitive. Driven by an intense self-loathing. Maintained by a curious capacity to learn. And to love.

Characters named after vehicles, spices and cutesy nonsense words... they are dangerous with cool exteriors, eyes on the horizon, savage yet endearing, bear-like, curious and self-loathing...

My god... it's all so beautiful! Yet painful! I love it! No, wait...

I loathe it.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I Don't Know What A Boddy Is, But I Knew A Bobby Once.

Subject: project Female actress wanted for ifc sexy and ok with her boddy audition thursday and friday

Sexy females wanted for tv show for ifc

2 paid workdays for a show that is going to be on IFC channel. The part is a rocker chick who is fun and hot/sexy and may get topless with the band after a concert. The next scene she appears elegantly dressed as an upper east side trophy wife, her regular identity, when she runs into the band at a child's bday party and they are all surprised to meet again under these circumstances. So, 1/2 topless and half elegant and polished. (Half topless? Just one boob?) We don't need an actress as much as a natural who is fun and energetic and can transition from rock chick to polished beauty. Auditions are Thurs. , so we need to hear from people ASAP. ! Send head and body shots and phone numbers

You must send full body shots i need to submit them

Please send your sexiest pictures (Of course!) the audition is on Thursday pay is 1,000 for 2 days - 15%

Monday, March 10, 2008

It's Good To Have Goals

Exotic girls...from all over (Midtown)
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Date: 2008-03-10, 3:11PM EDT

Fantasy photo shoots... clients will pay to be the director of your photo shoot. You will be paid based on the fees charged to the client.

I want top notch females... models... or model like!

Please send your pictures and a description of your goals asap, etc.

Thank you!!

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Dear Sirs;

Ever since I was a young girl I had two life dreams. The first was to graduate high school as valedictorian, attend Cornell, join the Peace Corps as an agricultural specialist helping to alleviate starvation in third-world countries, then return home and marry an equally generous, motivated and caring man with whom I would raise a family in Connecticut.

My other goal was to have dirty pictures taken of me by strangers where they could and would probably end up on the internet for everyone to see, and to buy a grande latte with whatever lame and probably vastly insufficient "compensation" was offered.

I look forward to the day I can check one or both off my list of personal goals. With your help, that's not just a dream.

Most sincerely,
Gabriella

Monday, March 03, 2008

When Words Are Worth A Thousand Pictures...

Casting Notice

Project Name: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Project Type: Film & TV
Format:
Rate/Compensation:
Message:

Role: SAG female prisoners
Role Type: Extra
Gender/Age/Ethnicities: Female / 18 to 55 / All Ethnicities, AfricanAm, Am-Indian, Asian, Caucasian, East-Ind, Hispanic, MidEastern, Mixed, PacificIsland
Description/Note: Seekign SAG actors to portray FEMALE inmates. Will work mutiple days. Looking for a mix of types. Please note if you are comfortable weight lifting and have done it previously. Also note if you are comforatble working a shower scene. Note if you are comfortable showering bareback wearing pasties, or just being in your bra and panties, and also getting wet.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Clearly Not Written By A Woman

SHAVE YOUR HEAD FOR ART
Student Film, Non-Union
Union Status: Non-Union
Rate no pay: credit and copy provided as well as snacks and transport
Submissions Due By 3/3/2008
Shoot/Performance Dates: weekend of 3/1/08 (flexible as to exact day/time)

Synopsis
A woman shaves her head in a bathtub then burns it.

Project Notes
I am looking for any woman who is willing to shave their head for this project. It is a short, student film for NYU. The shoot will be no more than 4 hours. The crew is small and it will be fun, creative, and laid back.

WOMAN / Non-Union / Lead / Female / All Ethnicities / All Ages / Nudity
A woman shaves her head in a bathtub, which begins to overflow in the tub. She steps out when done, pours alcohol over it, and leaves. The hair then is lit on fire. Partial or full nudity might be involved but can be worked around if actress is not comfortable.

Rate: no pay, credit and copy provided as well as snacks and transport

I wish you luck in finding a woman willing to be naked and to shave her head for free while you and six of your friends watch. I have no doubt that people have no trouble finding women willing to bare a little for free - but to shave their heads for free??? None of you have girlfriends, do you?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Ugly And Unable To Draw

Type: Print
CastingClient: Trident
Shoot Date: Thursday February 21, 2008?
Rate/Usage: One year unlimitied print use in allmedia USA. -$1,000.00 total $1,200.00. Model usage for second year option. $750.00 ea.
Submit: email submissions to: XXXXX.com

DESCRIPTION:
Man: Ugly, International Latin Looking 30-35 year old Has character - UGLY... maybe cross-eyed, dark hair, interesting ugly but still lovable, not cartoonist. (I know they mean cartoonISH, but I think it'd be hysterical if they actually were barring cartoonists from auditioning.) Ugly in a way, but still endearing. The client has really stressed the UGLY part of the equation.


Yes. Yes, the client has.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

What On Earth...?

Untitled Television Studio Project
Television, Non-Union
Union Status: Non-Union
Rate: No Pay

Submissions Due By 2/5/2008

Synopsis
A young couple, one male and one female, both 20-30, discuss their possible future together on a lazy Sunday morning. Roughly a three minute scene to be shot live during a one hour shoot on Wednesday, Feb 6th. Live, three-camera set up in a large indoor soundstage. No auditions, casting is immediate! Thanks!

AMANDA / Non-Union / Featured / Female / All Ethnicities / 20-30 / Sexual Situations
Rate: No Pay

PAUL / Non-Union / Featured / Male / All Ethnicities / 20-30 / Sexual Situations
Rate: No Pay

No casting process. You're live on a soundstage being recorded by three cameras. There are "sexual situations" with the other actor who you never even got to meet during the audition process because there is none. And no pay. I am thoroughly perplexed... Whatever could this be???

No, wait. I really don't want to know. I still have a shred of innocence left, and I prefer to keep it that way.

Friday, February 01, 2008

I Lead, You Lead, Co-Lead - We're ALL Leads!

‘WHERE HAPPINESS LIES’

Park Palace Productions is casting Where Happiness Lies, a feature-length film with intertwining storylines about addiction and acceptance. Matthew XXXXX, dir. Shooting begins Spring 2008 in NYC.

Seeking—Diana: 18-25, Caucasian, a prostitute, thin, attractive, a touch of goth, painful eyes, strong silence, cuts herself, partial nudity, CO-LEAD; Barbera: 25-30, African-American, heavy-set, attractive, fun-loving, confident, prostitute, partial nudity, CO-LEAD; Micah: 25-35, Caucasian, heavy-set, businesswoman, overeater, signs of burn out, a madam, CO-LEAD; Tres: 18, African-American, heavy-set, able to ride a bike, aspiring rapper paying dues as a drug runner, CO-LEAD; Ritz: 18, Caucasian, able to ride a bike, aspiring gangster, all business, drug runner, CO-LEAD; Nicky: 20s, Caucasian, thin, attractive, going through a break-up, aspiring actress, CO-LEAD.

Auditions will be held by appt. only Feb. 16, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. in NYC. To schedule an appt., email pix & résumés to XXXXX.com. Indicate what time works best for you. Deferred or no pay, but copy, credit, and meals provided.

I guess since everyone is a "co-lead" then it's an "ensemble piece"? Well, except for the poor lass with the painful eyes - she must be hard to look at (or maybe that's why she cuts herself - to distract herself from the pain her eyes are already inflicting?) - and "Barbera", the other chick who gets naked. Poor things have to take their tops off and don't even get listed as co-leads. So unfair.
...

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Scary!

L.I.U., ‘SPOOKY CABIN’

Alex XXXXX (dir.) is casting Spooky Cabin, a Long Island University (C.W. Post campus) student film. Brian XXXXX, casting dir. Shooting Feb. in NY.

Seeking—Father: middle-aged, Caucasian, who gets a break on a reality show; Teenage Boy: 16-18, Caucasian; Male: early 20s, Caucasian.

Email pix & résumés to XXXXX.com. Sides will be available at a later time. No pay, but copy, credit, meals, and travel provided.

How can this cabin be spooky when there are no babes, no breasts, no thongs, no "brief non-sexual" nudity? I'm afraid dear readers, that this poor filmmaker is lost in the woods on the tasteful outskirts of Crazy Town - completely out of touch with the usual "scary" movie fodder - and only a screaming naked co-ed can help him/her find their way back to exploitative scripts, and thus, sanity.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Sorry, But They Just Aren't Allowed Below Bleecker...

Ugly Girls Needed (SoHo)
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Date: 2008-01-15, 4:38PM EST

artist needs completely unglamorous women for a video installation - race, age, hair unimportant - height and weight proportionate please (So, if I'm wider than I am tall, it's a "No"?).

shoots will take place in the evenings during the week in a soho location

pay is 100 - 150 for about an hour of work

if interested please send a photo

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 100- 150 / hr

Aw, what happened! They were so tactful in the body of the ad, but the heading lacks the same finesse.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Details Are Highly Overrated

UNTITLED SHORT & UNTITLED FEATURE

Rocco XXXXX (dir.) is casting an untitled indie short and an untitled feature film. Short shoots Feb.; feature shoots Summer 2008. Note: both films are shot in the NY/NJ area.

Short—Female #1: 20-35, sexy, shy, politically correct bartender; Female #2: 55-75, ex-hooker (Is she retired? Did she get a nice severance package from her pimp?), still looks good, outspoken, harsh, honest.

Feature—Actors: male and female, 20-70, all types; Male Actor: 30-40, big, strong, bouncer-type Marcy: female, 30-50, extremely good-looking, fit, sexy, confident, some nudity required.

Staggered auditions will be held by appt. Send pix & résumés to Rocco XXXXX, East Side Moving Picture Co., XXXXX, NJ 07003. Indicate if you are submitting for the role of Marcy on the envelope. No pay, but meals provided.

There's um, not a whole lot of information for these films, is there?
...

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Mon Dieu!

About Compensation...
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-01-03, 6:20AM EST

To all you people who want to hire models and other artists, etc., without paying them fairly, or AT ALL...

Don't you realize that you will get a much better response from the type of people you need (read: quality) if you PAY them? No one wants to work free; you cannot reasonably expect anyone to. It isn't fair to us. We work hard to hone our craft, and deserve to be compensated when performing a job for you. I cannot believe the number of ads I would have answered (for which I probably would have been hired) if only there had been a reasonable compensation rate instead of "No pay"!

Please, people...DO offer reasonable compensation if you want someone worth hiring to answer your ads!

Thank you.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Please pay us!!

I think Gabby is in LOVE!