Monday, September 22, 2008

This Could Be Unsanitary

Casting for female models Actress 21 and over some exceptions for new pilot Bikini Kitchen 26 Episodes

Come check out the trailer staring Stormy Daniels and Halla (Sure you don't mean "Jackie Daniels" and "Challah?" Har.)

The casting will take place sat sept 20th from 230pm to 530pm

TELEPHONE BAR & GRILL 149 Second Avenue between 9th and 10th st. in Manhattan.

Ladies please email your photos and numbers and everyone who wants to audition must show up

Dress sexy for fitting and bring pictures if you have Director Dan Frank of the Sit Down man will be there with JT Talent and Casting Looking Over the models,Actress for the show . (That sentence made my head hurt.)

Please RSVP

It's Not Your Mamma's Cooking
Starring Stormy Daniels and Halla
Bikini Kitchen
Head chef Halla will be cooking up a variety of good food for all of our viewers to learn how to make. As Stormy, helps out Halla prepare the food and makes some drinks. (Ow!)
Due out Jan. 2009
Upward Rising Development
ITN Distribution
JT Talent and Casting
It's Not Your Mamma's Cooking!

Um... Pay???

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Best Soldiers Have The Biggest "Bazookas"

I, Creator
Feature Film, Non-Union

Union Status Non-Union
Rate 1.) Meals provided by the production. 2.) Screen credit for your work in the production. 3.) A copy of the final cut of the DVD. 4.) An invite to the screening party. (Um, not to get technical - but those aren't "rates".)

Synopsis
This is the fabled Frankenstein story retold with new twists, turns, technology, and characters for the twenty-first century.

GINA / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / Caucasian / 25-35
Gina is Robert’s ex-girlfriend with long black-hair and black-eyes with an olive complexion in her twenties. Gina is of average height of around five feet four inches tall with a slim attractive figure. The role requires strong acting skills. (Sounds it!)
Wardrobe: She wears blue jeans, sneakers, and a blouse
Rate: NO PAY, but screen credit, a copy of the final DVD, and invite to screening party (Really??? You mean after all the hard work I'll do for you - being slim and petite and acting real good - you'll even deign to let me attend the screening of my own work? THANK YOU!)

GAIL STORM (Get it?)/ Non-Union / Lead / Female / Caucasian / 21-30
Gail is a long black-haired and black-eyed extraterrestrial female cyborg with fair skin and in her twenties who looks human and stands well over six feet tall. She is built like a Barbie doll and well-endowed. She was made to be the ideal female super soldier (huge breasts are imperative to being a top-notch soldier! They don't slow you down or get in your way AT ALL) and scientist by her creator, Dr. Pavlov on the planet, Delta Four. Strong acting skills and stage fighting required.
Wardrobe: A black coverall cat suit with matching boots and gloves, an ammunition belt, and a laser rifle. Gail also wears army fatigues and a backpack for hiking, business suit, blouse and blue jeans a blouse, high heels and sneakers for other scenes. (Ice skates and bridesmaid dress sold separately.)
Rate: A copy of the final DVD, screen credit, meals, and invite to screening party (She gets to go to the party, too?! What fun!)

SURVIVALIST / EX-DELTA FORCE INSTRUCTOR / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / All Ethnicities / 25-45
He is an ex-Delta Force instructor standing 5'6'. Robert hires him to train Angela and Gail. The survivalist was convicted of rape, escaped jail and the USA, and admitted back to the USA for rescuing an ambassador’s daughter. He meets his match with Angela and Gail. They are terminator-like indestructible soldiers. Robert sends Angela and then Angela and Gail to him to test Angela’s firmware never to kill a human no matter how evil they are and to protect humans from other machines.

The role requires a STRONG BACKGROUND IN STUNTS, MARTIAL ARTS, stage fighting, and strong acting (sure - but only if you'll invite me to the screening party!). If you have a stunt reel, I'd like to see it. We need to get as close to exact height we are asking for as much as possible for these roles.
Wardrobe: Jungle fatigues, backpack, hunting knife, and a water canteen.
Rate: Deferred payment (D'oh!)

TERRORISTS / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / Middle Eastern / 20-35
Must have dummy pistols and look like terrorists. The roles require strong acting skills and have dialogue. (Again, yes, my goodness - it seems like "acting skills" are of the highest priority...)
Wardrobe: Street clothes.
Rate: A copy of the final DVD, screen credit, meals, an invite to the screening party (The more the merrier! Except for that survivalist guy - who wants him when you can party with terrorists?)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I'm Not A Dental Technichian, But I play One On The Streets Of NYC

PARK AVENUE DENTAL SPA is creating a team of attractive, sexy and classy female and male models to promote its upscale Dental Spa.

ATTIRE: Fitted dental lab coat, which will be provided by the Dental Spa. (Nothing inspires confidence like model-actors in figure-flattering pseudo-uniforms representing skilled specialists.)

DUTIES: Working teams of 2 models will introduce themselves and our Dental Spa to upscale people (sounds like discrimination) and schedule appointments OUTSIDE on Park Avenue.

OFFER: The appointments will be for the new patient to receive:
· Professional Dental Whitening
· Dental Cleaning and Polishing
· Dental Examination
A $1000 package, for ONLY $99. (What a fantastic deal - this ridiculously discounted package doesn't worry me or smack of illegitimacy in the least! I warmly invite them to stick sharp objects in my mouth!)

This proven offer along with the right team of models executing the promotion will result in numerous new patients generated. (So many words! I love words! Please, use as many as you can, needlessly, and spell them however you wish.)

REQUIREMENTS: YOU must be attractive, have good teeth, er, breasts - no, wait, we mean TEETH! (and breasts) (we will help improve them for free; see compensation), articulate well, and be outgoing and sociable. therefore, we want models [both male and female] that are friendly and joyful. (Joyful? No problem - pass the N2O!)

EMAIL YOUR RESPONSE: email your photos (both head shots and full body shots) and contact information (telephone number, email address, etc).

COMPENSATION:
· Part Time Position - days and hours flexible.
· Base Salary: $10.00/hour + $20.00 per new patient generated. Earning YOU up to $100.00/hour.
· As being part of our promotional team of models YOU WILL also receive:
1.FREE DENTAL WHITENING
2.FREE DENTAL CLEANING & POLISHING
3.FREE DENTAL EXAMINATION

Thanks,
When you email please say XXXXX Talent and Casting sent you and ask for XXXXX

Remmeber we take between 15% and 20 %

Let's see... 15% times 32 teeth... that's... hey, wait a minute...

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

In A Valley With 'The Alley' Is A Druggy With The Dragon

‘CONTROL THE DRAGON’

Amuck Duck Films is casting Control the Dragon, a DV fantasy/horror short film about an adventure-seeking college student who, despite her boyfriend’s warning, explores the haunting myths of “the Alley” and finds herself under the mind control of the Alley’s cult leader, who keeps the dwellers of the Alley under his control with “The Dragon.” Anthony XXXXX, prod.-asst. dir.; Jerry XXXXX, dir.-editor-asst. prod. Shooting Oct.-Nov.

Seeking—Samantha: female, 18-30, adventurous, wide-eyed, must be able to fight for your life and deal with the evils of the Alley (Uh, is 'The Alley' real? Because I'm not sure I can deal with the evils of 'The Alley'.), LEAD; Ghost/Cult Leader: male, mid-20s to mid-40s, average build, LEAD; Eric: male, 18-27 (that is a mighty specific age range), Samantha’s boyfriend, keeper of the secrets of the Alley; Cop 1: male, 20s; Cop 2: male or female, 20s-40s; Druggy 1: male, 20s-40s, tall, medium to muscular build; Druggy 2: male, tall, medium to muscular build; Druggy 3: female, hot-looking junkie (Woo hoo! Hot junkies!); Married Couple: male and female, 30s-50s; Samantha’s Roommate: female, 18-27, brief topless nudity required for murder scene (Of course - because no young woman ever dies clothed. That's like, a law of nature); Journalism Professor: male, 25-45, glory-stealing meddler. Also seeking—Druggy Extras. Note: All roles listed are speaking roles. Druggies are mystic, moody, timeless, and loyal to their leader, but always in need of a fix. All roles require special FX makeup, and may need to execute staged horrific acts (Oh, wow. You mean, like, 'act'? Could you be more specific?).

Auditions will be held by appt. only in NYC. Email pix & résumés, with contact info, to XXXXX.com. For more info and questions, email XXXXX.com. No pay, but credit and meals provided.