Aspiring female mode with jealous boyfriend.... (NYC)
Date: 2009-09-15, 11:45AM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.com
If the title describes you my opportunity is not for you. (*gasp* You tricked me!) I am a professional New York City based photographer with state-of-the-art studios and looking for a aspiring female model who has always dreamed of making it big but have never had the opportunity and the resources to succeed despite her beauty. If you have the will and determination to sleep with me, er - to make it to the top and you have what it takes to succeed this opportunity is right for you. If you have been around the block with photos all over the map and have not been able to make it so far, this is not for you. You need to be fresh, new, curious, willing to push the envelope, attach to nothing and open to everything. If I am describing you, I will unleash my top make-up and hair artists (and the dogs with the bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you?), plus I will put at your disposal my professional studio and finances to help you succeed. If interested apply with two recent full body shots, info about you and a contact number. Also make sure your are available this coming Sunday with at least three outfits to test shoot at our studios with my professional make-up and hair artists. Please reply indicating why you are the right individual for this situation. Thanks.
* Location: NYC
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay
So, what was the deal with the boyfriend? Why did you mention that, Mr. Photographer? I can't imagine why that would be important...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
No, YOU Be Serious.
Comedy pilot (NY)
Date: 2009-09-15, 12:28PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org
I am looking for someone in the industry, writers, agents, comedians, etc. I wrote a tv pilot for the FOX comedy contest. I found out about the contest two weeks before it was due. I've never wrote a script before and always used my humor as a way of living life. I don't want to stand up (then sit, by all means), had the chance, just not interested in it. I know I have the creative mind for comedy. I used an online template for the script. It's not the script I'm worried about, I would like to use my humor for different projects. But I would like someone to look at the script and see the ideas I have. It is registered with the WGA. It is about a 40 yr old mailman who falls into a coma (please... share more of your idea with the good people of Craigslist - none of whom would ever do anything unscrupulous...). The show would take place using his dreams and memories. For instance the show opens with Jesus at the last supper. The show ends with him making love to his mother in law. So it could be anytime, anywhere. Whatever triggers his mind whether it be a something playing on the tv or radio, people talking in the room, etc. And thanks to medical technology his wife can see these "dreams".
I wanted something that could take place anytime, like a cartoon instead of the usual boring family of four sitcom. My humor is a mix between shows like Family Gut (I LOVE Family Gut!), Seinfeld, Married with Children, comedians like a Jim Norton and maybe Ben Stiller movies, or an Airplane (um... like an actual aircraft or did you mean like one of the Airplane movies? I have a feeling an actual plane would have a very dry sense of humor; no fun at all). It is very hard to make me laugh so I go and look for something different.
Like I said I've never wrote a script before (Get out of town! Have you ever written an email before? Ever use spell-check?), I know there are mistakes. Maybe it's a wrong idea. Maybe it's better to turn it into a screenplay. But it's the material I can come up with and contribute that I want to be seen.
Please be serious.
* Location: NY
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay
Date: 2009-09-15, 12:28PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org
I am looking for someone in the industry, writers, agents, comedians, etc. I wrote a tv pilot for the FOX comedy contest. I found out about the contest two weeks before it was due. I've never wrote a script before and always used my humor as a way of living life. I don't want to stand up (then sit, by all means), had the chance, just not interested in it. I know I have the creative mind for comedy. I used an online template for the script. It's not the script I'm worried about, I would like to use my humor for different projects. But I would like someone to look at the script and see the ideas I have. It is registered with the WGA. It is about a 40 yr old mailman who falls into a coma (please... share more of your idea with the good people of Craigslist - none of whom would ever do anything unscrupulous...). The show would take place using his dreams and memories. For instance the show opens with Jesus at the last supper. The show ends with him making love to his mother in law. So it could be anytime, anywhere. Whatever triggers his mind whether it be a something playing on the tv or radio, people talking in the room, etc. And thanks to medical technology his wife can see these "dreams".
I wanted something that could take place anytime, like a cartoon instead of the usual boring family of four sitcom. My humor is a mix between shows like Family Gut (I LOVE Family Gut!), Seinfeld, Married with Children, comedians like a Jim Norton and maybe Ben Stiller movies, or an Airplane (um... like an actual aircraft or did you mean like one of the Airplane movies? I have a feeling an actual plane would have a very dry sense of humor; no fun at all). It is very hard to make me laugh so I go and look for something different.
Like I said I've never wrote a script before (Get out of town! Have you ever written an email before? Ever use spell-check?), I know there are mistakes. Maybe it's a wrong idea. Maybe it's better to turn it into a screenplay. But it's the material I can come up with and contribute that I want to be seen.
Please be serious.
* Location: NY
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay
Are You An Idiot? Your IQ 10?
Are you hot? A 10? Be on National TV (nyc)
Date: 2009-09-15, 1:26PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Nationally Acclaimed, Emmy Winning tv show is looking for HOT men and women in the tri-state area. Do you get picked up all the time, are you master of the opposite sex? Your looks have gotten you far, and now they're going to get you on national TV.
If you are a 10 and you know it, email the address above with your name, number and recent photo!!
* Location: nyc
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay
No Pay for a 'Nationally Acclaimed, Emmy Winning tv show'? If you reply to this then all the blood must have rushed to your boobs...
Date: 2009-09-15, 1:26PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Nationally Acclaimed, Emmy Winning tv show is looking for HOT men and women in the tri-state area. Do you get picked up all the time, are you master of the opposite sex? Your looks have gotten you far, and now they're going to get you on national TV.
If you are a 10 and you know it, email the address above with your name, number and recent photo!!
* Location: nyc
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay
No Pay for a 'Nationally Acclaimed, Emmy Winning tv show'? If you reply to this then all the blood must have rushed to your boobs...
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
I Hope He Knows How To Use A Camera Better Than He Knows How To Market Himself.
Female bikini models (Downtown)
Date: 2009-08-31, 9:54PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Work with photographer
Add to your portfolio
Seeking beautiful women especially with legs (Damn. But will she know how to use them?)
Spanish Caucasian Black Asian
No studio stuff, let's hit the beach
Are you daring enough to get a little sand? (...To get a little sand...? What? And, wait - you said 'Downtown'... is there a beach downtown?)
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Pub only
Date: 2009-08-31, 9:54PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org
Work with photographer
Add to your portfolio
Seeking beautiful women especially with legs (Damn. But will she know how to use them?)
Spanish Caucasian Black Asian
No studio stuff, let's hit the beach
Are you daring enough to get a little sand? (...To get a little sand...? What? And, wait - you said 'Downtown'... is there a beach downtown?)
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Pub only
EXTRA! EXTRA! A Play With Dialog!
Local Talent WANTED! Actors/Actresses (Staten Island)
Date: 2009-09-01, 2:04AM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org
*****Prefer NON-UNION actors that LIVE ON STATEN ISLAND (Who doesn't?)*****
Actors & Actresses wanted for a ridicilously funny, witty, hilariously odd ... PLAY! (A PLAY?! The heck you say.)
Experienced preferred ... but good memorization skills A MUST! This is a 'dialogue intensive' property! (Unlike all those other 'plays' on Broadway where you just stand around, pantomiming everything.)
N.Y. Director & Producer .... Project will be VIDEOED for future airing! NON-UNION PREFERRED!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CASTING:
Please BE SURE to put your 'character preference' in the 'subject' of your email! Thank you! (OK!!!!!! [Who says too many exclamation points AND CAPITAL LETTERS make a person look desperate?)
Male in 30s. Attractive, wise-cracking leader.
Female in 30s. Attractive, sex-crazed female equal to Merv. (I bet she's sex-craved - aren't they all? And who's Merv, btw? Is he one of these 'attractive males' in his 30s?)
Male in 30s. Attractive, cool and aloof friend.
Male in 30s. Attractive, self-aware hypochondriac.
Female in 30s. Attractive, good girl mixed up with wrong crowd.
Female in 30s. Attractive, meek member of the group.
Male in 30s. Attractive, happy-go-lucky friend.
Male in 30s. Attractive, chronically insecure friend.
(Hold on folks - here come the 'hilarious' part:)
Murderer……Male in 40s. Tough-looking philosophical prisoner.
Rapist…………Male in 40s. Tough-looking philosophical prisoner.
Burglar………Male in 40s. Tough-looking philosophical prisoner.
Waiter .... Male or Female, Any age!
Psychiatric attendant #1…………Male or Female / Any Age / Big and strong.
Psychiatric attendant #2…………Male or Female / Any Age / Big and strong.
*****Prefer NON-UNION actors that LIVE ON STATEN ISLAND*****
~~~~~~~NOTE: If you can't FOLLOW THESE DIRECTIONS ...
>>>>>>>>>>PLEASE ... DON'T APPLY!<<<<<<<<<<
..........We are looking for actors/actress that CAN FOLLOW DIRECTION!
Please forward your HEAD SHOT ONLY .. in the body of your email.
We WILL NOT view web sites/myspace/facebook .. or anything else ...
We will ONLY view your head shot if it is INCLUDED in the BODY of your EMAIL ....
Please put your 'character preference' in the 'subject' of your email!
Thank you!
*****Prefer NON-UNION actors that LIVE ON STATEN ISLAND*****
* Location: Staten Island
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 1 Comp. Ticket
You are SO welcome.
Date: 2009-09-01, 2:04AM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org
*****Prefer NON-UNION actors that LIVE ON STATEN ISLAND (Who doesn't?)*****
Actors & Actresses wanted for a ridicilously funny, witty, hilariously odd ... PLAY! (A PLAY?! The heck you say.)
Experienced preferred ... but good memorization skills A MUST! This is a 'dialogue intensive' property! (Unlike all those other 'plays' on Broadway where you just stand around, pantomiming everything.)
N.Y. Director & Producer .... Project will be VIDEOED for future airing! NON-UNION PREFERRED!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CASTING:
Please BE SURE to put your 'character preference' in the 'subject' of your email! Thank you! (OK!!!!!! [Who says too many exclamation points AND CAPITAL LETTERS make a person look desperate?)
Male in 30s. Attractive, wise-cracking leader.
Female in 30s. Attractive, sex-crazed female equal to Merv. (I bet she's sex-craved - aren't they all? And who's Merv, btw? Is he one of these 'attractive males' in his 30s?)
Male in 30s. Attractive, cool and aloof friend.
Male in 30s. Attractive, self-aware hypochondriac.
Female in 30s. Attractive, good girl mixed up with wrong crowd.
Female in 30s. Attractive, meek member of the group.
Male in 30s. Attractive, happy-go-lucky friend.
Male in 30s. Attractive, chronically insecure friend.
(Hold on folks - here come the 'hilarious' part:)
Murderer……Male in 40s. Tough-looking philosophical prisoner.
Rapist…………Male in 40s. Tough-looking philosophical prisoner.
Burglar………Male in 40s. Tough-looking philosophical prisoner.
Waiter .... Male or Female, Any age!
Psychiatric attendant #1…………Male or Female / Any Age / Big and strong.
Psychiatric attendant #2…………Male or Female / Any Age / Big and strong.
*****Prefer NON-UNION actors that LIVE ON STATEN ISLAND*****
~~~~~~~NOTE: If you can't FOLLOW THESE DIRECTIONS ...
>>>>>>>>>>PLEASE ... DON'T APPLY!<<<<<<<<<<
..........We are looking for actors/actress that CAN FOLLOW DIRECTION!
Please forward your HEAD SHOT ONLY .. in the body of your email.
We WILL NOT view web sites/myspace/facebook .. or anything else ...
We will ONLY view your head shot if it is INCLUDED in the BODY of your EMAIL ....
Please put your 'character preference' in the 'subject' of your email!
Thank you!
*****Prefer NON-UNION actors that LIVE ON STATEN ISLAND*****
* Location: Staten Island
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 1 Comp. Ticket
You are SO welcome.
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