Thursday, August 10, 2006

Da, Is Good Film.


Brett XXXXX (talent coord.) is casting Lift, a financed indie feature film. Shooting in early September in NYC. Seeking Irina: 30s, female, Russian, former acrobat turned lawyer (Those are some flexible briefs!); Nina: 30s, female, Russian beauty, "flaky-Ophelia-on-acid" type (Whoa! That's a 'type'?); Valentina: 30s, female, Russian, tall, blonde, voluptuous rustic type (The only things curvier than her silhouette are the rural hills she hails from! Zing!); Claude: 40-50s, male, strong-quiet-Frenchman (Jean Reno) type; Father Victor: 40-50s, male, gregarious, no physical preference; Rabbi Menashe: 30-40s, male, gaunt, morose, flexible physical attributes (Flexible? Perhaps he, too, is a former acrobat?); Fima: 40s, male, Russian, lovable loser type, no physical preference; Berman: 40s, male, Russian, successful doctor, no physical preference, slightly pompous; Gioia: 20-30s, female, Italian hottie, no physical preference; Lyudmila: 40-50s, female, Russian-Jewish-mother type; Boris: teens-early 20s, male, Russian; Gallery Owner: 30-50s, male, no physical preference, slightly sleazy; Bill the Boss: 40s, male, corporate lawyer type; Howard Harris: 40-50s, male, tall, slender, blond-gray, elegant, stuffy Brit; Landlord: 50s, male, aggressive, no physical type. Note: Actors with Russian fluency a plus for Russian roles.Send pix & resumes to Russian Film LLC, XXXXX. Box XXXXX, NYC 10012. No phone calls or walk-ins. Compensation according to role. Producer plans to apply for a SAG Low Budget Film Agreement. (First posted 7/27/06, revised 7/28/06)

I like how the last one finally has "no physical type" - like they've given up and thrown their Movie Cliche Thesaurus out the window.

Further down in the ad breakdown it read: "Nudity: Yes", which I sort of assumed. You can't have a movie that includes a former acrobat and men-of-the-cloth, without showing a little boobage, am I right? I so wish I could figure out what the plot will be. It sounds like the beginning of a joke, does it not?: "So a Priest, a Rabbi and a former acrobat-turned-lawyer walk into an art gallery..."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you are a really good writer