Inspired By Real Events

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I'm Not Really A Waitress, I Just Play One At This Restaraunt Where They Pay Me To Wait Tables And I Get Tips.

dont mis this if you need money
new resturaunt very unique currently seeking nyc's most glamorous and sexy women for hostesses,...Seeking NYC'S Most Glamorous Women For Hostesses, Table Concierges, bartenders & Cocktail Waitresses W/ High- Volume, High-End Exp To earn big dollars plus the chance of a lifetime at HAWAIIAN TROPIC ZONE Restaurant-Bar-Lounge IN TIMES SQUARE interviews & Auditions will be held this week if you are interested please email your best pictures to JT or call 212- XXX-6495
if you are going to show up at the audition please call jt or email your info when you get there you must say JT TALENT AND CASTING SENT YOU
Sincerely, JT

There's a 'New Jack City - Type'?

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Some Random Pay

‘PINK EYE’
Savage Roses Productions, an established production company, is casting Pink Eye, a feature-length horror film. James XXXXX, dir.; Joshua XXXXX, prod. Shooting in early March in NY and NJ.Seeking—Edgar: male, 25-35, tormented due to his disfigurement (Which is...?), drug testing brought him into a delusional and violent state, very well-read and well-spoken if creepy and very dark, all scenes will be in shadow or behind a mask (Think: "Darkman" meets "Man Without a Face" meets "Phatom of the Opera" meets your eighth grade English teacher...), LEAD; Sherri: female, 18-30, runaway suffering from drug withdrawal, brief, non-sexual topless nudity scene, actress must be completely comfortable topless, pays $200/day; Technician #1: male, 25-35, lab tech; Technician #2: male, 25-35, lab tech, a sleazy, perverted man; Raven: female, 18-30, long dark hair, insane patient who goes from a coma-like state to furious rage (Think: you great aunt Gert on Thanksgiving after having too much wine and passing out on the sofa then waking up to learn she missed dessert and all the pie is gone...); Daisy: female, 5-8, Caucasian, $50/day; Holly: female, 11-13, Caucasian, rebellious and jealous of her younger sister, $50/day; Gus: male, 40-60, Italian, loud, funny, very “Brooklyn”; Edgar’s Mother: female, 45-75, Caucasian, a creepy older woman; Bonnie: female, 18-30, Caucasian, extremely skinny girl suffering from delusional anorexia, must be comfortable in a bra and underwear, $50/day; Bonnie #2: female, 18-30, Caucasian, actress must be very overweight, is seen in the reflection of an anorexic girl, must be comfortable in a bra and underwear, $50/day; Shadow: male, 35-75, Native American, $50/day; Joyce: female, 20-30, promiscuous nurse (Aren't they all?), scene requires brief, non-sexual topless nudity, actress must be completely comfortable topless, $200/day; Jeremy: male, 25-40, more interested in his work than in his wife; Fortune Teller: male or female, 40-60, bizarre appearance but authentic (No fake warts, scars or extra eyeballs - all bizarre elements must be real); Officer #1: male, 25-50, looking for actor that has his own police uniform; Mr. Van Horn: male, 45-70, Caucasian, rich, heartless, corporate type; Tessa: female, 25-35, a nurse, authentic British female wanted (Authentically British or authentically female???); Various Extras. Note: Ethnicities are open except where noted.Auditions will be held in early January. Send pix & résumés to Savage Roses Productions, 295 XXXXX, Yonkers, NY 10701. You must write what role you are submitting for. Extras, write “WILL BE EXTRA” on pix. No drop-offs. Deferred pay (except where noted), plus videocopy, credit, and meals provided.

It's awesome that they are paying - especially for the women who appear comfortably topless in a non-sexual way. I applaud them. But you may not want to go publicizing to everyone else what their cast-mates will be earning... It can make for a sticky wicket, if you know what I'm saying.

BAR FLAIRING?! No way!

USA, 'THE ULTIMATE COYOTE UGLY SEARCH,' SEASON 2
Eyeworks Touchdown Inc. and CMT are casting the second season of the series The Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search. Shoot starts in 2007. Seeking—Contestants: females, any ethnicity, outgoing, charismatic, vibrant, the life of the party, able to sing, dance or bartend (Notice they said "OR" - so no worries about not being a triple-threat). Five women will be chosen to join an intensive paid training course of up to five weeks. Each participant will learn the core Coyote skills–-dancing (Ooh), singing (Ahh), bartending (Uh huh) & bar flairing (?!?! NO WAY! I don't even know what that is!) — before facing off against each other to win the grand prize. Auditions will be held in five cities: Nashville (Dec. 1), Memphis (Dec. 3), Charlotte (Dec. 9), New York (Dec. 12), and Ft. Lauderdale (Dec. 15). To schedule an audition appt, complete the required Online Registration Form at https://app.touchdowntv.com/casting. $25,000 provided for the winner.

Ahhh... how I miss having cable. Leave it to good ol' USA Network to bring us something truly uninspiring & useless. Ladies, this is an excellent opportunity: think of all the bar flairing outfits you can buy with $25,000. Incredible.

Wake Me When This Casting Notice Gets Interesting...

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It's Like A Young, Hot, Naked UN Session

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No Pay Exposure

this could be your chance (FOR...?!?!?!)

casting for female models for the queens film festival
Models needed for USA debut top European designer- must be drop dead gorgeous- model thin not necessary- 5'5 and over and have own evening gown - preferably black, and must bring to audition Tuesday Nov 15, 4pm at The Renaissance of Astoria, 27-34 21st ST. Show is Thursday Nov 16
Some of the models will be chosen to escort the celebrities to the stage to receive awards- Great photo opportunity! no pay (Oh.) exposure
if you are interested please email your sexiest full body picture with your name and number
or you can call JT 212-947-XXXX please do not just show up must email YOUR GOING

Sincerely, JT

Well, I guess I'm not qualified in many aspects. I'm shorter than 5'5' and I don't have a going to email him. I'm not sure what a going is, but I'm pretty sure I don't own one to email.
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"You Know, I Kind Of Didn't Want To Come To This Country, So Now I must Take My Revenge - Nonverbally, Of Course"

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High Art Jersey Style

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Classic Nudity Required, No Pay.

‘THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN’

Millennium Talent Group at Manhattan Ensemble Theatre in Soho is casting The Only Game in Town by Frank D. XXXXX. Deacon XXXXX, prod. Rehearsals begin the last week of October; opens mid-November with eight performances over a four-week period.Seeking—Fran: late 20s-early 40s, heartbroken, Vegas line dancer, topless nudity; Joe: late 20s-early 40s, down on his luck optimist, piano player, topless (Topless men, too?! Daring!); Lockwood: 50-60s, financially established, sure of himself.Send pix & résumés to MTG, Attn: Only Game, 55 XXXXX St., NYC 10013; or email pix & résumés to XXXXX.org. No pay, but meals and transportation provided. Equity Showcase, approval pending.
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A Casting Notice Decoded:

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"I Say, Gov'nah, What's That Shiny Horseless Carriage Behind You?"

I SELL THE DEAD
Glass Eye Pix is casting the 16mm and HDDV feature film I Sell the Dead, a period horror film set in the 1700s. Glenn XXXXX, writer-dir. Shooting mid-October to November in and around NYC. SeekingRonnie Burke: 40-45, male, burly affable bartender, brutish but charming, comic sensibility, British accent; Dr. Vernon Quint: 50-60, male, thin and tall, angular features, demanding presence, Peter Cushing/Christopher Lee Type British accent; Cornelius Murphy: 40s, male, Black Irish, piercing eyes, handsome and intense, British accent; Valentine Kelly: female, tall, pale-skinned, haunting and graceful presence, must have ballet or dance experience. Send pix & rsums to Glass Eye Pix, 296 XXXXX St., NYC 10012. Some pay, plus meals and travel provided. Producer plans to apply for a SAG Low Budget Agreement.

A low-budget period piece taking place in the 18th Century and being shot in and around modern day Manhattan? They must have a way with a glue-gun and tinfoil that is just miraculous!
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A Movie Within A Movie... Within A Movie???

SEEKING WHITE FEMALE ACTRESS for straight-to- DVD movie (guaranteed distribution through MVD). Pay = $300 for 3-5 hours of work. The movie is a comedy about the making of an ultra indie horror movie (like the kind you would find at a horror convention booth). The role available is "Melissa" who is a scream queen. She takes pity on the amateur director and decides to do him a favor by appearing in a scene at a greatly reduced fee (Like, say, $300 for 3-5 hours of work?). There are three scenes that the Melissa character is in. In her first appearance she bumps into the director at a park and thanks him for giving her boyfriend's band a positive review in a magazine (the director is a mag writer as his day job). In that conversation she reveals that she is a scream queen and defines that term for him (he doesn't know what a scream queen is). In her second appearance, later in the movie, she bumps into the director again and (she sounds clumsy), after hearing about his troubles (his movie is a disaster - girls are quitting, his crew is a bunch of morons, etc) she decides to appear in his movie. (Yes, I know I always run right out and sign up for something as soon as I know it's a disaster. That's always when it's the most fun and rewarding.) The third appearance is on location - the shooting of a movie within the movie. The Melissa character is clothed for all scenes except that one (topless and in a thong/garter belt/thigh-high stockings). Please note that the nudity is less than 30 seconds on-screen. As soon as she delivers her lines in the movie-within-a- movie she walks off to change into normal clothes and finishes her scene completely clothed. This movie stars Gina Lynn. Guest appearance by Miramax director J.T. Petty (he directed Mimic 3 and Soft For Digging - remember those?), and a cameo by George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher (What a silly nickname - he sounds like fun! Scary, deadly fun!!!). DVD will be released in October. (I'll put it on my Netflix queue now...)
Please send pics/resume to JT now
Sincerely, JT
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Da, Is Good Film.

LIFT

Brett XXXXX (talent coord.) is casting Lift, a financed indie feature film. Shooting in early September in NYC. Seeking Irina: 30s, female, Russian, former acrobat turned lawyer (Those are some flexible briefs!); Nina: 30s, female, Russian beauty, "flaky-Ophelia-on-acid" type (Whoa! That's a 'type'?); Valentina: 30s, female, Russian, tall, blonde, voluptuous rustic type (The only things curvier than her silhouette are the rural hills she hails from! Zing!); Claude: 40-50s, male, strong-quiet-Frenchman (Jean Reno) type; Father Victor: 40-50s, male, gregarious, no physical preference; Rabbi Menashe: 30-40s, male, gaunt, morose, flexible physical attributes (Flexible? Perhaps he, too, is a former acrobat?); Fima: 40s, male, Russian, lovable loser type, no physical preference; Berman: 40s, male, Russian, successful doctor, no physical preference, slightly pompous; Gioia: 20-30s, female, Italian hottie, no physical preference; Lyudmila: 40-50s, female, Russian-Jewish-mother type; Boris: teens-early 20s, male, Russian; Gallery Owner: 30-50s, male, no physical preference, slightly sleazy; Bill the Boss: 40s, male, corporate lawyer type; Howard Harris: 40-50s, male, tall, slender, blond-gray, elegant, stuffy Brit; Landlord: 50s, male, aggressive, no physical type. Note: Actors with Russian fluency a plus for Russian roles.Send pix & resumes to Russian Film LLC, XXXXX. Box XXXXX, NYC 10012. No phone calls or walk-ins. Compensation according to role. Producer plans to apply for a SAG Low Budget Film Agreement. (First posted 7/27/06, revised 7/28/06)

I like how the last one finally has "no physical type" - like they've given up and thrown their Movie Cliche Thesaurus out the window.

Further down in the ad breakdown it read: "Nudity: Yes", which I sort of assumed. You can't have a movie that includes a former acrobat and men-of-the-cloth, without showing a little boobage, am I right? I so wish I could figure out what the plot will be. It sounds like the beginning of a joke, does it not?: "So a Priest, a Rabbi and a former acrobat-turned-lawyer walk into an art gallery..."

Hey, I Have A Big Head!

must be top heavy any ethnic
Casting for female models for stripper part in a commercial (NO NUDITY AT ALL) 18 TO 25 FEMALES MUST BE TOP HEAVEY FOR COMERCIAL pay is $500 dollars – for a few hours Please email pictures full body your name and number THE AUDITION WILL BE TOMMOW TUESDAY AUG 8TH FROM 10AM TO 230PM CALL FOR INFO
Sincerely, JT
...

Sort Of Like Shakespeare's Play Within A Play

ACTING DOCUMENTARY

Black Cougar Productions is casting a documentary film. Jeff XXXXX, camera & lighting; Silvio XXXXX, dir.Seeking—Actors and Actresses: all ages. Auditions will be held Aug. 15, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Shetler Studios, 939 W. 8th St. (btwn. 55th & 56th sts.), Rm. 400, NYC. You will come in and tell them about your experiences in film or TV: the struggles, the highs and lows, the auditions you went on, acting jobs you did, the crazy eccentric people you’ve met, and more. Actors will be filmed at the audition so come prepared to tell them a true to life story that you went through. Bring pix & résumés and contact info. For more info, visit www.blackcougar.com. No pay.

"Well, I went on this one audition to be in a documentary about acting and I had to tell them a story about a weird acting experience. They were filming the audition, and there was no pay. I never did hear from them, but the next thing I knew, my friends told me they saw me in some documentary telling a story about a weird acting experience! But they never contacted me to tell me I was in it. And there was no pay... Isn't that weird?"
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Make Your Mother Proud: Get Naked With Tisch Students (They're Super-Talented, You Know)

HOUSE OF SAND

No Outlet Group, LLC is casting House of Sand, a low-budget mini35 DV teen horror feature about four high school seniors whose summer vacation at the beach turns into a nightmare when they run into two drifters interested in more than having a good time. Paul and Daniel XXXXX, co-dirs. Weekly rehearsals ongoing through September in Brooklyn and NYC; shooting Sept. 17-Oct. 2 at a beach house on the bay. Seeking -Jenna: featured role, 18, tall, blonde or light-haired, very attractive, sassy, sarcastic, flirtatious, partial nudity required for group skinny-dipping scene. Note: Tisch talent attached for other roles. Send pix & resumes to Paul XXXXX, 132 XXXXX, Brooklyn, NY 11231; or email XXXXX.com. No pay, but videocopy, credit, meals, transportation, and lodging (all cast and crew will be housed at the beach house for the duration of the shoot) provided.

Over the years people have marveled at the difference between "low-budget", "super-low budget", "zero-budget", etc. And since this notice isn't particularly funny or noteworthy - except for the classic 'nudity required/no pay' stipulations - I will venture my guesses regarding these budget types here:

Low-Budget: "I've held down two terrible part time jobs for the past year and a half to earn enough cash to pay for a camera, gas, some props and a pizza for every day we shoot. I would kick a few bucks your way if I could - but on the last day of the shoot if there's anything left, I'll probably spend that on a case of beer."

Super/Ultra-Low-Budget: "I pocketed the money my dad gave me last week to get the car washed and I'm gonna use it to make my opus. I'm borrowing my friend Hank's handi-cam on the condition that I let him help me 'audition' the girls who will play the Vampire Maidens from Uranus. I can't afford props or costumes so it's gonna have to all be improv'ed and everyone will have to be naked except the homeless man from in front of the 7-11 who I bribed to be in the shoot with a can of Pepsi."

No-Budget: "I'm not sure what I'm doing."

Zero-Budget: "Can I borrow a couple bucks? I'll let you be in my movie."
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Fashion Is To Maxim As Hot Is To Hot

beautiful females wanted for great tv show
we need to cast about a dozen or so models for Ep. 212 of Parco. (Females- fashion model type as opposed to Playboy maxim type- but there not real picky- hot is hot- and that's good TV!) Yee haw! Darn tootin'! Boobs is boobs! Some will have very small lines (there are no such things as small lines - only small breasts and small swimsuits...) and some MAY be in swimsuits for a photo shoot but they don't have to be. One day only- week of Aug. 1. Pay is $50 Less taxes and agency fees...
we will have a casting on Tuesday 7/25 at the MarkMark office-1619 Broadway between 49 & 50- 4th Floor. - sign in sheet type deal.
10-4 Tuesday.
if you would like to attend the casting please email your name number and a full body picture to JT say on the email you will be attending the casting you may call for more info
what to bring
1 bikini or sexy outfit
JT 212-947-XXXX
Sincerely, JT
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Ever Have That Dream Where You're Naked In Public - Wearing Nothing But A Sock - And The Press Is Taking Pictures Of You?

Well Now You Can LIVE It!:

VIRGIN FESTIVAL MEDIA EVENT
Virgin USA and Virgin Mobile USA are asking for volunteers to participate in a Virgin Festival media event. Dan XXXXX, communications; Alex XXXXX, senior vice president. No rehearsals required (Oh, good, this should be a cake walk then...). Seeking—Photo-op Participants: will be asked to appear on-stage wearing nothing but a strategically placed Virgin branded sock (Did they just say A sock - as in ONE sock - strategically placed? Are they looking for just men? 'Cuz if they're not, then I hope that's a BIG sock...), there are no physical requirements for this event (Excuse me?), the appearance on stage will last approximately 20 minutes (As in 1,200 seconds???), there will be news media on site taking photographs and television pictures (What?!). The event will take place July 17, 10:30 a.m.-noon at the Virgin Megastore Cafe in Union Square on 14th St. (btwn. Broadway and University Place), NYC. To participate, email AlexanderXXXXX.com No pay, but participants will receive a gift (ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND?!?!).

That "gift" better be made of gold, wrapped in large bills and stuffed inside a BMW...

But Seriously, For A Moment...

Six-Time Felon Arrested in Actor's Murder
by Lauren Horwitch

July 14, 2006

CourtTV.com reports six-time convicted felon Victor Paleologus has been charged with the murder of actor Kristine Johnson whose body was found Mar. 3, 2003 in a ravine in the Hollywood Hills. She had been last seen going to an audition... As previously reported, 21-year-old Johnson vanished Feb. 15, 2003 after telling a roommate a photographer had approached her at the Century City Mall and asked to take pictures of her for a movie production. A police sketch was created with the help of a woman who told police she was similarly approached at the same mall and had met the man in West Hollywood. Her boyfriend, a former law enforcement officer, had chased the man away when he became aggressive. Investigators began focusing on Paleologus due to the sketch...

I just saw that article online. Pretty scary stuff. A bit of advice for any actor who is approached by someone offering them a contract/work/audition/meeting/etc.: Do your research first. Find out if this person is legit. Ask for a reference. If your still uncertain - bring a friend with you to the meeting/audition. Tell someone where you are going and when, and that you will check in with them when you're done. If anything feels weird - listen to your gut! If you're worried about burning bridges - you can be firm yet polite. Explain that you're willing to continue the dialog so long as you feel comfortable (by meeting in a public place, bringing a friend to the meeting or asking for a reference).

Anyone that is legitimate and interested in working with you will have no problems with your requests. In fact, they'll probably admire your intelligence and professionalism.
.

I Just Can't Resist

Nickelodian

Pay Aftra Scale non union ok
Feature Roles
Caucasian Boy- Brown hair,4 and .6 years
Caucasian Girl-Blond Hair Blue Eyes young

Send Hardcopies to:
J T Talent And casting XXXXX ave suite 506 ny ny 10001

I'm sick of JT and his bad grammar and spelling, too. But I can't help but list an ad that is looking for boys between 4 and .6 years old...

Just When You Thought Your 'Guy's Weekend' Hiking Adventure Couldn't Get Any Better...

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Meanwhile, On The 'Mean Streets' Of Rhode Island...

‘BETWEEN SOMETHING AND NOTHING’

Bangorfilms is casting Between Something and Nothing, a feature- length DV comedy-drama about a young gay man working his way through art school by hustling on the mean streets of Providence, RI. Todd XXXXX, dir.-prod. Shooting begins Sept. 1 in Providence, RI.Seeking—Joe: 18-20, idealistic dreamer, art student, nudity and some sexual content required, LEAD; Jennifer: 18-20, street smart, ambitious fashion design student, LEAD; Ramon: 18-20, street hustler, Latin/Hispanic/South American, partial nudity and some sexual content required, LEAD; Art Students: 18+, males and females; Art Teachers: 40+, males and females; Johns: 40+, male, partial nudity and some sexual content required. Send pix & résumés (include email address) to Todd XXXXX, Bangorfilms, 241 W. XXXXX, NYC 10018; or email to XXXXX. For more info, visit www.bangorfilms.com. No pay, but videocopy and credit provided. No pay.

I think the "something" is all the nudity and sexual content, and the "nothing" is your pay.
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Swordplay + Scarred Older Men + Naked Young Women = I Think I'll Skip This One

'LAST KNOWN PHOTOGRAPHS'

Pygmallion Films is casting Last Known Photographs, a DV or HD DV short about a grizzled old drunken Samurai who loses the only thing he loves anymore, his sword. Lawrence XXXXX, dir.; Chris XXXXX, DP. Shooting the last week of June. Seeking—Dutch (That doesn't sound Japanese): 48-60, scars and a hard life a plus (Hey, buddy - you look like you have a hard life! Come audition for us!), knowledge of sword fighting in any style; Scarlet: 23-30, pretty with an attitude, partial nudity required; Various Supporting Roles: 20s-30s, two for each gender, must be willing to use your own wardrobe. Casting immediately. Send pix & résumés (include email address) to XXXXX Casting, 494 XXXXX Dr., Marietta, GA 30068; or email to XXXXX, attn: Lawrence XXXXX. No pay, but videocopy, credit, and meals provided. Producer plans to apply for a SAG Short Film Agreement.
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Sounds Slippery

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Nudity Required... For The VIEWER!

Fuse is looking to cast four possible hosts for its hit new show "Pants Off-Dance Off". On the show, real people strip all their clothes (to their underwear for TV, and to the full monty--but blurred for the internet) to their favorite music videos. Viewers vote for their favorites online, and the winner gets a cool prize (Oh, snap! - I hope it's not a gym membership!). We are looking for young sexy females to be HOSTS of the show (each host will work separately, emceeing a week's worth of shows- -the shoot lasts ONE DAY). No nudity is required to be a host. Hosts do need to be sexy and fun and have a good sense of humor. The host of PODO will be explaining how the show works, and will be making cute, funny and sexy comments that we can intercut with the dancing segments. Please tune into Fuse (Channel 132 on Time Warner Digital) to see the show and get a better idea. Scripts will be provided in advance of the audition, and cue cards will be available during the actual audition. please email your fullbody pictures and name and number and if i have you on file even better. This is a paying gig. If you have any questions, please let me know. 212- XXX-XXXX Thanks, Sincerely, JT

Wiggle it. Just a little bit.

Do I Get A Cape And Everything?

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You Do It At Home - Now Do It On Stage! (Dancing topless, that is. Not the orgies part. Or maybe you do... that's none of my business)

‘ORGY OF THE DEAD!‘
Do What Now Productions is casting Orgy of the Dead!, its upcoming comedy burlesque spoof inspired by the Ed Wood cult classic. Michele XXXXX, prod.; Frank XXXXX, dir. Runs June 25-July 11 in The Red Room, NYC.Seeking—Empress of the Dead: 21-30, female, statuesque, imposing, sexy Vampira-type, must dance and move very well and have great comic timing; Linda: 21-25, female, stylish, slim Eurohip diva, good dancer, good comic instincts; Female Dancers: 21-30, especially seeking classic and unique physical and character “types”, such as pinup girls, femme fatales, divas, etc., background in and knowledge of classic burlesque a plus but not required, must dance/move very well, be fearless and creative, with strong comic skills and great stage presence, dancers will develop their own character-routine with chorerographer, dancers will also play some comic backup roles, the brassier, the bolder, the braver, the better, topless nudity/pasties required for some parts, not all (because that would be just "too much"). Auditions will be held by appt. the first weekend in May. Actors will be given a selection of music, asked to work up brief routine around strong character model, and perform from sides. Send pix to Do What Now Casting, Attn: Michele XXXXX, c/o XXXXX, NYC 10003. No pay.

Actually, I think this sounds sort of cute, if they do it well. Too bad I'm not really the 'dancing around naked in public' sort of gal... You know, unless I'm being paid... (with actual money - not free pizza and a wam Mr. Pibb.)

A Little Thong, A little Dance...

UNTITLED CRIME DRAMA
Amy XXXXX (prod.) is casting an untitled Steve XXXXX film, a feature-length crime drama that has been invited to be in the 2006 Action on Film International Film Festival in Long Beach, CA. (Wait... it hasn't even been made yet! They're just casting for it now!) Steve XXXXX, writer-dir. Shooting in NY.Seeking—Ruby: any ethnicity, a prostitute, attractive, seductive, engaging, scene played topless and in thong, no simulated sex, scene pivotal to understanding antagonist’s lifestyle, takes one of the antagonist’s lollipops and gets reprimanded for it, one scene, no lines, closed set; Crystal: 18-29, any ethnicity, a prostitute-dancer, attractive, seductive, engaging, scene played topless and in thong, no simulated sex, scene pivotal to understanding antagonist’s lifestyle, gives antagonist’s sidekick a lap dance, one scene, no lines, closed set; Goliath: musclebound mute, an oversized nonspeaking sidekick to the antagonist, must be extremely physically fit and capable of minor falls, has four scenes. Email pix & résumés to XXXXX.com. For more info on the filmmaker, visit XXXXX. No pay.

...Some strange actor's hands down your pants! And no pay! But you do get a lollipop. So that's something.

Deja Vu

INDIE HORROR FILMS

ShriekCinema is casting for twist-ending horror shorts and a gothic-type feature film. Keith Matturro, dir.Seeking——Females: 18-30ish, attractive, exotic and busty types to play lead heroines, victims, vampresses, gypsies, nurses, maids; Males: 30+, character types for intense scientists, Catholic priests. Note: No experience necessary (model-types welcome).Send pix & résumés to ShriekCinema, XXXXX, NY 11767, Attn: Keith XXXXX. For more info, visit XXXXX. Transportation and DVD copy provided. Pay for leads.

Seriously? This exact same ad ran in Back Stage last June. It's on this site under the heading "Boobs Make Everything Scarier". How many movies can one company make in a year featuring nurses, gypsies, maids and vampresses??? I'm beginning to think the "twist ending" is that you think you're coming in for an audition for an actual movie, but turns out you're really just coming in to make some creepy guy's day.
...

Ummm... Ew?

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Italy?! Oh, The Horror!!!

'THE SEER'

Nuragic Films is casting The Seer, an independent horror/thriller feature film. Luigi XXXXX, dir.; Wendi XXXXX, casting dir. Shooting in June in Sardinia, Italy. Seeking—Paolo: 30s, Italian-looking, Italian accent a plus but not necessary, handsome, detective type, must be available in June, LEAD; Agata & Ada: females, 18-28, tall, slim, sexy, beautiful, twins and/or sisters strongly encouraged to apply, partial nudity required, must be available for two to three weeks in mid-June; Giusti: 50s, male, historian, intellectual type, must be available for one week in June. Send pix & résumés ASAP to OTSP, Attn: Wendi, XXXXX., 4th fl., NYC 10017; or email XXXXX. No pay, but transportation to and from Sardinia and on the Island will be provided, along with meals and accommodations.

If you're independently wealthy and can afford to spend three weeks without pay, after buying airfare to Italy (they just said travel to the island was provided, but not from where. I'm assuming just from the main land since, if they had enough dough to buy my international flight, then I feel they could at least give me a per diem), and would rather spend that time "working" as you are "partially nude" with your sister, or someone similar... then I say got for it. Go. For. It.
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Audition Sometime This Month For a Film To Shoot Later This Year With Maybe A Couple Rehearsals

‘PLAY ME’
Mutante Pictures is casting the short film Play Me, a dark, surrealist, perfomance art-based short film about a pompous and shallow man’s evening that segues into nightmarish meetings with his own psyche’s hidden demons. Paul XXXXX & Shaun XXXXX, prods.-dirs. Rehearsals will take place sporadically over two to four weeks (Sounds like they have a very clear scedule.); shooting three to five days in spring and summer in NYC. Seeking—Male: 30-35, white, old ex Ivy-leaguer type, slippery and paunchy, Republican, snake-like charm, physical theatre experience a plus, sexy clothing, will be able to display emotional demolition (???), LEAD; Female: 28-35, Caucasian, blonde/brunette, long hair, attractive, curvaceous, new agey, generally mellow but can explode with exasperation, LEAD; Mime Artist/Physical Clown: male or female, the more bizarre the better; Seductress: vivacious, belly dancer; Other Roles: bring on the freaks. (Careful what you wish for!!!) Send pix & résumés to Paul XXXXX, 609 XXXXX St., 9th fl., NYC XXXXX. Casting will begin at the end of March. You will be called prior to this date (TBD) (Gosh, these guys are so regimented with their scheduling, I can hardly stand it...) and provided with an excerpt of each character’s script/direction to prepare. Possible deferred pay, plus travel and meals provided.

Heavy On Character Description... Low On Plot (And Pay).

HD COMEDY FEATURE
XXXXX Production is casting a comedic feature about commitment vs. alluring models (because we all know, the two can never, EVER co-exist). Armando XXXXX, dir. Shooting begins July 3-28 in Jersey City, NJ and NYC.Seeking—Orlando: 28 to mid-30s, Hispanic or Caucasian, unhappy video porn editor, sexually frustrated, contemplating cheating on his girlfriend, reserved, observant, insecure, average Joe, LEAD; Oscar: 28 to mid-30s, any ethnicity, modeling agent, shallow, self-centered, dates only models, funny, hip Metrosexual type, brief partial nudity; Chris: 30 to mid-30s, any ethnicity, bitter, divorced, poor photographer, chain-smoker, supporting; Michelle and Lena: 20s, sexy fashion-video models, confident, social, know how to dance seductively (There girls have mad skillz!), Michelle’s role requires brief topless nudity; Augustina and Sonia: 20s, sexy, sensual, bikini models type, cokehead, laidback, self-assured sexually, can dance, Brazilian or any ethnicity, partial nudity for both; Jessica: 20s, Caucasian, Hispanic, or mix, attractive, aggressive, blunt, doesn’t take crap from anyone, well-toned body, uses it to her advantage; Jessica’s Boyfriend: 20s, Guido type, drunk angry bodybuilder; Stripper: sexy, persuasive, hustler.Auditions will be held by appt. in April in NYC. Email pix & résumés to XXXXX, Attn: Armando. Possible pay, no housing provided. Producer plans to apply for SAG Ultra Low Budget Film Agreement.

"Creepy" Comes in Any Age Range, Any Race...

‘CRAZY TOWN’

XXXXX Productions is casting Crazy Town, a feature-length film. Jules XXXXX, dir.-prod. Shooting in May and June in the suburbs of Philadelphia, PA.Seeking—Danet: 23-26, beautiful, on the verge of a mental breakdown, nudity typical of an R-rated film; Savannah: 18-21, sweet, innocent stripper, nudity typical of an R-rated film; Steve: 23-26, Caucasian, extremely good-looking, having a mental breakdown; Kevin: 23-26, Caucasian, understated/manipulative; Bill: creepy; Joe: 40ish, Caucasian, intense/funny; Lou: 70-90, cool; Two Boys: 5-7, young Brad Pitt/Ed Norton (Raise your hand if you know what Ed Norton and Brad Pitt looked like at age 7.); Background Actors: 18-26, good-looking, all ethnicities. Note: Actors should specify if they are willing to do background work. Also seeking staff—DP, Lighting, Sound, PAs.Send pix & résumés to XXXXX Productions, 257 XXXXX Ave., Wayne, PA 19087. Pay, plus food, travel, and lodging provided. Producer plans to apply for SAG Low-Budget Film Agreement.
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Debbie Does The Lost Ravine

‘SCALP’
PC Productions is casting Scalp, a low-budget DV horror feature film about six hikers who get trapped in a lost ravine (Where does a ravine go for help when it's lost?) and revive a dormant horror. Paul XXXXX, prod. Shooting in June or September in NY & NJ. Seeking—Three Males and Three Females: 25-35, all ethnicities, attractive, one is named Debbie and has straight black hair, (Whoa! Whoa. That's a lot of detail on these characters. Let's keep it simple. Telling me the name and hair color of 1 out of 6 leads? ...I need to rest my brain a minute in order to process all this information.) LEADS; Various Pilgrim Roles. Also seeking staff—DP, Gaffer, Sound, Production Designer & SFX, Costumes, PAs (Does anyone else see red flags when a casting notice is looking for staff at the same time it's casting? Like they have put the cart WAAAY before the horse?). Auditions are currently in progress. Send pix & résumés and reels to PC Productions, 41 XXXXX St., Midland Park, NJ 07432. For more info, visit XXXXX. Pay, plus credit, meals, and transportation provided. Producer plans to apply for SAG Ultra Low-Budget Contract.